Ever wondered why you tend to spend or save the way you do? Or how budgeting can feel easy for some for you, but a nightmare for others? The truth is, our financial behavior is mostly driven by our money scripts – the unconscious beliefs about money that influence every decision we make, without us realizing it.
How to Identify Your Money Scripts
Have you ever stopped to think about the way you react when an unexpected bill shows up? Or why do you feel guilty when you treat yourself to something nice? These reactions can be clues to your “Invisible Scripts”. By looking back to your past and paying attention to how you feel about financial decisions, you can begin to uncover your money scripts.
Here are some areas to explore:
Childhood Experiences With Money
Our first exposure to money goes back to our childhood. It could be the time when you broke open your piggy bank for a sweet ice cream treat or when you heard your parents stress over the bills.
These experiences may have helped you learn that money is scarce or that spending equates to love and these form the foundation for your money scripts.
Now, think back—what’s the earliest memory you have about money? Does that memory reflect in your financial behavior today?
Family Attitudes and Behaviors Around Finances
You know how people say that you got your mom’s eyes or your dad’s smile? Well, you can also inherit money scripts the same way.
If you grew up with a family that pinches every penny, you might find yourself holding on too tightly to your money. But if your family was more carefree with spending, there’s an unconscious pressure to keep up with the same pattern.
The behaviors your family had around money were your first lessons in financial decisions and they can stick with you for life.
Cultural and Societal Influences
Aside from family, the culture and society you grew up in also shape your money scripts. Do you notice how some cultures are big on saving, while others celebrate spending? What about societal expectations—like owning a home, driving a certain car, or having the latest gadgets? These influences seep through our subconscious and affect the way we feel about money.
Take a moment to consider: What cultural or societal messages have you absorbed about money, and how do they impact your spending or saving habits?
Significant Financial Events (Positive or Negative)
We all experience that certain financial turning point in life. Maybe you got accepted into your dream job and suddenly felt flush with cash, or perhaps you lost a job and experienced hardship. These events can reinforce certain money scripts.
A financial windfall makes you believe that money comes easily, while a financial loss may cause you to fear that money is at risk of disappearing. Are there big financial moments in your life that shaped your beliefs in money?
Educational Experiences Related to Money
Did you have a personal finance class in school or did you go into adulthood without knowing the basics of balancing a checkbook? Our education around money can play a huge role in developing money scripts. For some, you can feel financial empowerment when you learn early on how to invest, while others might have learned through trial and error.
Think about your financial education or lack thereof. How has it affected the way you manage your finances today?
Many of our money beliefs are formed at very specific moments in our lives. What’s conveyed at these pivotal times—like holidays, birthdays, and graduations—often sticks with you forever. This list will help you uncover money moments that you may have forgotten but still continue to affect you today.
When it comes to money, what do you remember about . . .
- Holidays with your family?
- Birthdays?
- Allowances?
- Graduations?
- What you wore to school?
- Back-to-school shopping?
- How your parents talk about money when bills were due?
- Your first job?
- Your first love?
- Applying to college?
Types of Invisible Money Scripts You Might Have:
The tricky part about money scripts is that many of us don’t realize they’re there, shaping our decisions positively or negatively.
But don’t worry—you’re not stuck with them forever. Once you recognize them, you can start rewriting them to follow your financial goals rather than hold you back.
Let’s explore some of the common money scripts examples in three areas: wealth and success, self-worth and money, and relationships.
1. On Wealth and Success
Most of us have a complicated relationship with wealth. We want it, but at the same time, some of us still have beliefs that put wealth and success in a negative light. Here are some common scripts people carry around about money and success:
- “Rich people are greedy and unethical.”
- “Wealthy people don’t have to work hard.”
- “Money is the most important measure of success.”
- “You have to have money to make money.”
- “Wealthy people are happier than everyone else.”
- “Rich people are shallow.”
- “More money, more problems.”
- “My worth is tied to my possessions.”
- “I need these things to be successful/happy.”
- “Keep up with other people.”
- “Did you hear? John bought a new house…”
- “How can they afford to go on a third vacation this year?!”
Take Erik’s story from my podcast, for example. Growing up, he developed a belief that as long as he could get by on the minimum, everything would be fine. While Erik’s faith in his ability to “figure it out” is admirable, it kept him stuck in a cycle of just scraping by, never truly building wealth:
[00:28:00] Ramit: Would you describe your family as poor?
[00:28:03] Erik: Yeah, growing up. And I had a job out of college that was a little bit feast or famine. When I had good months, I lived well.
[00:28:13] Ramit: What’d you do?
[00:28:14] Erik: Oh yeah. I would go out with my friends. I would eat wherever I wanted. I like nice things. So I’d buy a new pair of shoes or spend a pair of jeans, or when I had it, I would spend it, and then months I didn’t have it, I was like, I was okay with that too, because I just knew those months, I was eating ramen that month. I like ramen.
[00:28:36] Ramit: Are you okay to do feast or famine now?
[00:28:41] Erik: No, I’m not.
[00:28:44] Ramit: Are you seeing Andrea’s face, by the way?
[00:28:47] Erik: No, I wasn’t watching.
[00:28:48] Ramit: Andrea, what were you just doing when I asked that question?
[00:28:50] Andrea: Raising my eyebrows because I do think that Erik has a very high tolerance, I think an abnormally high tolerance for financial insecurity.
[00:29:08] Ramit: Would you agree, Erik?
[00:29:09] Erik: Yeah, absolutely. I just can’t foresee a scenario where we would wind up in a famine where we just wouldn’t have money to pay the bills, or something like that. I’m just not worried about that. No doubt we’ve had lots of times when things are tight and we’ve had seasons where we’ve lived on credit cards, but we’ve never missed a payment.
[00:29:32] Ramit: A minimum payment?
[00:29:34] Erik: Yeah, yeah.
[00:29:35] Ramit: Are you okay with that, Erik?
[00:29:36] Erik: There have been seasons where that was what we could do. And as long as we were doing that, I had a sense, you know what, it’s going to be all right. This tight time is not going to last forever. We’ll get through this. It’ll be fine.
[00:29:51] Ramit: How did you know when you were paying the minimums on your credit cards that it was going to be okay?
[00:30:00] Erik: It just always has been. I’ve always gotten through those times, and I’m a person of faith, so I have a trust, hopefully not a trust I want to take advantage of, but I have a trust that I think God’s going to provide for us. Honestly, my story is I feel like He has. That kind of faith or trust or just confidence in the future is something I don’t want to take advantage of.
[00:30:29] So I think I have to participate. I have to do the work. I have to have a goal. I have to take advantage of opportunities. I’ll always be able to find something and figure it out. That’s one of the things I’ve learned in our relationship. Not to say, although, it’s constantly in my mind.
[00:30:46] Ramit: Figure it out.
[00:30:47] Erik: Yeah, we’ll figure it out. It’ll be fine.
2. On Self-Worth and Money
When it comes to money, self-worth is often related to how we feel about what we deserve. Many of us carry around damaging money scripts that reinforce guilt. For example:
- “I’ll never be good with money.”
- “I don’t deserve to make more than my parents did.”
- “I should feel guilty about spending money on myself.”
- “I’m not smart enough to understand finances.”
- “I’ll always struggle financially.”
- “I should feel ashamed about my financial mistakes.”
- “You will never have a lot of money.”
- “You don’t deserve it.”
- “Don’t get too big for your britches.”
Take this conversation from my podcast with Bebe and Paul, where they wrestle with their financial reality and the belief that they’ve already cut back as much as possible, when they actually haven’t. This shows that unconscious scripts can keep us stuck in patterns that sabotage our financial growth.
[00:37:14] Ramit: So you are losing money every single month.
[00:37:19] Bebe: Yes.
[00:37:20] Paul: I don’t know. I can’t imagine spending 750 on groceries versus a 1,000. You know what I mean? I can’t imagine taking some cell phone lines away or that sort of thing. I already feel like with certain things we’re at the bare minimum.
[00:37:38] Ramit: You’re not. You’re not at the bare minimum. Not even close. You’re wearing an Apple watch. Every single person in your family has a phone. You’re not even close to the bare minimum. Not on the income you currently have. So I would like for you to ask deeper questions, rather than just, how do we quickly get rid of this?
[00:38:02] Which is impulsive and is going to end you back up in the same situation. The question I would love to hear is, how did we end up getting into this situation with 82% fixed costs? What choices did we make that brought us here? And what, if anything, are we willing to change if we want to get out of it? Do you notice about the difference of questions?
[00:38:37] Bebe: A lot.
[00:38:39] Ramit: Tell me.
[00:38:40] Bebe: But I also feel like we’re already living–
[00:38:44] Ramit: Are we going back into your story right now? Can you stick with my question? What do you notice about–
[00:38:49] Bebe: No, I am. I understand the question. I just feel like we’re already living below. I don’t know. I don’t know what we would want to get rid of.
3. On Money and Relationships
Money isn’t just a personal issue—it also plays a major role in our relationships. Whether it’s with friends, family, or romantic partners, these examples of money scripts can impact everything from how we communicate to how we share financial responsibilities. Here are a few common money scripts related to relationships:
- “It’s not polite to talk about money.”
- “If I make too much money, my friends and family will resent me.”
- “Money and love don’t mix.”
- “Money is the root of all relationship problems.”
- “Be a man.”
- “Men should provide for their family.”
- “Your job is to be the rock. Men don’t worry about emotions.”
- “Why would you stay at home? Dads work.”
- “A man is not a financial plan.”
- “You might as well stop working since all your income is going to childcare.”
There is a shared common script that affects many men: “My dad always said, ‘Be a man. Your job is to provide, and men don’t worry about emotions.’” It’s no wonder that so many men feel the weight of financial responsibility in relationships.
In my conversation with Allison and Dan, Allison shares her discomfort and shame when asking for financial help from, Dan, while Dan feels frustrated by the lack of clarity and their frequent overspending:
[00:06:57] Ramit: What happens when you have to ask for money? What does that feel like to you, Allison?
[00:07:04] Allison: It definitely feels like I’m a child asking for some help from a parent. It doesn’t feel good. Like I messed up. It brings like a lot of shame, those types of feelings, like I should have done better. I could have done this. I could have not spent this money. What did I even buy? Did I really need that thing?
[00:07:28] Ramit: You feel shame around money a lot?
[00:07:31] Allison: Mm-hmm. I don’t know. I’ve talked to my therapist about this. I do in these moments, but not when I’m on Amazon looking at stuff. I don’t know.
[00:07:43] Ramit: Well, that tracks. All right. Dan, what does it feel like to you when Allison comes to ask for money?
[00:07:50] Dan: I think that’s a poor way to put it, to be honest with you, because she hasn’t directly been like, hey, I need to borrow– well, one time. I will say, she’s just like, I need money. It’s not that cut and dry, like, hey, Dan, I overspent. I’m going to need 300 bucks.
[00:08:09] She’s upset because the accounts, like she mentioned before, she knows the money’s there. She knows there’s a few thousand dollars in my checking account. She wants access to that because it’s upsetting to her that she doesn’t have any money. And so she knows that money’s sitting– so that’s where it goes. It never really is a outright asking for money.
[00:08:31] Ramit: Got you. Even with all that being true, how does it feel when she comes and asks? How does it feel to you?
[00:08:38] Dan: I mean, to me, it’s like, how did we get here?
[00:08:42] Ramit: Tell me.
[00:08:43] Dan: I’m the type of person to a fault sometimes where I ask a lot of clarifying questions, not to be an a-hole or anything like that, but just more so because I like to have an understanding of, what are we talking about here? It’s more so like when I– and then I ask those clarifying questions, and then she typically gets frustrated with me.
[00:09:03] Ramit: What’s an example of one of those questions?
[00:09:06] Dan: Why? When we’re having, not even necessarily an argument, maybe just a discussion about how she feels like a child when she has to ask for money, that’s where my head goes, is so you’re mad at me for asking why you’re purchasing this, but then you feel like a child when you overspend money. It just doesn’t add up. It doesn’t make sense to me. I get frustrated from that stuff, seeing that stuff, new items in the house every single day. It’s like, why does this keep happening?
Improving communication around money can help couples navigate these deeply ingrained beliefs. That’s why it’s important to start financial conversations early and with the right approach.
In my video below, I explore the best times to start talking about money with your partner, how to have financial conversations without fighting, and how to combine finances. These are essential relationship goals that every couple should aim for to reach long-term financial success.
4. On Money Management
When it comes to managing money, many of us underestimate ourselves with our ability to take control. These scripts can be about being bad with handling numbers to thinking financial planning is only for the rich or retiring. Here are some common examples:
- “I’m bad at math, so I can’t be good with money.”
- “It’s better to avoid thinking about money altogether.”
- “Seeking financial advice means admitting failure.”
- “I should handle my finances on my own.”
- “Financial planning is only for people close to retirement.”
- “Money management is boring and tedious.”
- “Finance is too complicated for me to understand.”
- “I don’t need to learn about money, I’ll just hire someone to manage it.”
5. On Spending and Budgeting
Spending and budgeting can be tricky for many. Some believe budgeting is too restrictive, while others feel pressure to keep up with luxurious items. Here are some money scripts examples that might sound familiar:
- “You can’t afford it.”
- “That’s too expensive.”
- “I would never pay that much. What a waste.”
- “Budgeting is too restrictive and takes the joy out of life.”
- “I deserve this because I work hard.”
- “Buying this will make me feel better.”
- “It’s only a small purchase, it won’t matter in the long run.”
- “There will always be another paycheck.”
- “Everyone lives this way.”
- “If others can afford it, so can I.”
During my conversation with Kevin and Michelle, they opened up about buying two luxury cars they couldn’t afford, which eventually led them into significant debt. Their story reflects common money beliefs, such as “I work hard, so I deserve this,” and shows how these kinds of thoughts can easily lead to financial pitfalls.
[00:30:32] Ramit: How come we spent so much time talking about 7-Eleven snacks but we’re over here with over $70,000 of credit card, a 69,000-dollar car loan?
[00:30:45] Michelle: I know. Yeah, I knew that was coming. I don’t even know why we got that car, to be honest. Because we did the math on it, and we couldn’t afford it. And then I don’t know what happened, and we– not that I don’t know what happened. I know what happened.
[00:31:00] Ramit: What happened?
[00:31:01] Michelle: We still went for it because I was just being an enabler, and I said, yeah, it’s okay. We’ll figure out how to make it work.
[00:31:08] Ramit: And when you figure it out, who do you become in the relationship?
[00:31:13] Michelle: The hero.
[00:31:14] Ramit: Yeah. And by the way, what kind of car was it, Kevin?
[00:31:18] Kevin: I have a BMW. A lot of this was before I took that pay cut, but now that I have taken that pay cut, it’s so ridiculous, and I know I have to get out of it.
[00:31:32] Ramit: So how come you haven’t?
[00:31:33] Michelle: Because then we’ll take a loss. I mean, regardless.
[00:31:37] Kevin: Yeah. So the reason–
[00:31:39] Michelle: What was the worth of the car or whatever? You did the Kelly Blue.
[00:31:43] Kevin: Yeah. So the car’s valued at about 48,000, and 69 is what I owe on it. So I definitely would take a loss, but we haven’t taken the time to go in and figure out what our best option is, to be honest. The reason I stayed with them– so I had a BMW previously. Hers is a Mercedes. So we both have luxury vehicles that we both have no reason to be in.
[00:32:08] Ramit: You have a BMW and a Mercedes.
[00:32:11] Kevin: Yeah. That’s literally half of our income.
[00:32:14] Ramit: Mm-hmm. And those cars also take some pretty expensive gas, huh?
[00:32:18] Kevin: That is why I say I spend a lot of money on gas.
[00:32:23] Ramit: How come you got the cars? That’s what I’m curious about.
[00:32:26] Michelle: I don’t know. I’ve always had a luxury car since I was younger.
[00:32:29] Ramit: Oh, that’s a good reason to–
[00:32:31] Michelle: Well, because my dad always had a luxury car too. I don’t know, it just seemed like an asset that you had that. It made you feel good because you work so hard. You want to have a nice car.
[00:32:42] So I’ve always liked to have a nice car. This is getting into specifics, but I had a Lexus RX 500. It was paid off. It was great. It was fine. And one day, I don’t know what happened. We walked into a dealership, and we were looking at cars, and there was a really nice M series BMW.
[00:33:03] So I traded in my Lexus for the BMW that was on a lease. So then after that, we were having a baby. It was too small for the baby and everything, so that’s why I decided on the Mercedes. It was bigger.
[00:33:17] Ramit: Hold on, hold on. This is classic Americana in the worst ways. First of all, a luxury. How much were you making at the time where you had that Lexus?
[00:33:28] Michelle: Maybe 60,000, $70,000 a year.
[00:33:31] Ramit: Okay. Thank you. This is making my story even better. Making $70,000 a year, buying a Lexus. Basically, spending 100% of your salary on a car. Then you go, hey, this car’s paid off. I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to incur more payments.
[00:33:44] Michelle: It was the worst thing I ever did.
[00:33:46] Ramit: So you go in there. And then the minute you have a baby, what does every single parent in America do? We need a house and an SUV. Why? Because our little infant that can’t even move needs to around.
[00:34:00] Michelle: Right. Yeah, I know.
[00:34:01] Ramit: And so you go, you buy 1, 2, 3 things. Income goes down. One of you goes to school, one of you takes time back from work, etc. So you have these skyrocketing costs, lower income. Heavier costs with the baby. And now what happens? You’re trapped.
[00:34:18] Michelle: Stuck. Yeah.
6. On Saving and Investing
A lot of us can feel that saving and investing are out of their reach. Whether you believe that investing is only for the wealthy or that you don’t make enough to start saving, these beliefs can prevent you from building wealth such as:
- “Investing is only for wealthy people.”
- “I’ll start saving when I make more money.”
- “I don’t make enough to save.”
- “It’s safer to keep money in cash than to invest it.”
- “We keep our money in the bank.”
- “The stock market is just gambling for the wealthy.”
- “I’d rather buy gold or silver. Something I can touch with my own two hands.”
- “I’m too young to worry about retirement.”
- “Social Security will take care of me.”
In a discussion I had with Sandra and Brad, Sandra shared her struggles with anxiety over a major investment decision they were facing. This conversation shed light on how certain beliefs can generate fear and stress, even when you’re making a substantial income.
[00:09:30] Sandra: I didn’t want to do it for a really long time. I think I just was tired. I was tired of not having enough. And I was working two jobs, and he was working two jobs, and it was just really, really hard. And his friend’s been doing the investment for a while, so when he wanted to do it, honestly, I felt like I was more, I won’t stop you, but I don’t support it, if that makes sense. But in a way, because I didn’t say no, I feel like I did agree.
[00:10:00] Ramit: Is that the thing where it’s like, I’m not going to say no, but when it ends up disastrously, then I’m going to tell you I told you so.
[00:10:11] Sandra: Yeah, kind of, which isn’t very nice to hear, but I also decided mentally if we lost all of the money, that it would be okay. It was the only way that I could be okay putting the money in, was to get to a place where I knew that basically we could be kissing a million dollars away.
[00:10:28] Ramit: Would you be okay, just so I know?
[00:10:30] Sandra: Stoically just figure it out the same way my mom always figured it out when all the money was gone all the time. Because I didn’t know how else to make that decision and be supportive of it because I felt very nervous and still do feel nervous about it.
[00:10:45] Ramit: I’m nervous.
[00:10:46] Sandra: I know.
[00:10:47] Ramit: Putting 100% of a family’s investments into one private deal, that’s terrifying.
[00:10:55] Sandra: My feelings about it were any dividends that come back are not to be touched or spent until everything is returned.
[00:11:04] Ramit: Why?
[00:11:04] Sandra: I didn’t want it to turn around and put it back into something else because I wanted to make sure we got our money back if we could.
[00:11:10] Ramit: Hold on. Explain that to me. So you put a million dollars in there.
[00:11:14] Sandra: Mm-hmm.
[00:11:14] Ramit: You’re getting paid, let’s just say, 20k a month. So you’re going, I don’t want to use any of this money. I’m going to just let it sit in this account because I want to get all of my money back. What does that mean?
[00:11:28] Sandra: Until the initial investment was returned, it didn’t feel like I wanted to spend it. It felt like, I don’t know, retaking your gambling and then you’re taking all your winnings and you keep on gambling with them. I’m like, let’s just get what we can out of it in case the whole thing implodes.
[00:11:43] Ramit: That doesn’t make sense to me, because you’re telling me that every month you’re stressed. For the last several months you’ve been in the red, but meanwhile, you have 20k a month coming in from this oil investment. And because of the way you feel about it, you’re not allowing yourself to use it.
[00:12:00] Sandra: We have to use it. We don’t have any money to pay the bills if we don’t use it.
[00:12:05] Ramit: So isn’t that the worst of all worlds? You are, in your own mind, betraying yourself using the money, and then you feel horrible about it. And meanwhile, Brad’s like, what are you talking about? I got 20k a month coming in from this oil thing. And he’s like, what’s the problem?
[00:12:19] Sandra: Yeah. It’s exactly what’s going on. The oil is so different to me because it’s everything that we accumulated and worked for our whole lives, and I feel like we blew so much when we did have a lot of money. And now everything that we have that we’ve worked for for our whole lives is all resting in one basket.
[00:12:40] Ramit: Oh, I agree with that.
[00:12:41] Sandra: Freaks me out.
[00:12:42] Ramit: I agree. I’m freaked out by it. I want to talk about that. I agree. However, when we’re talking about the 20k per month, you’re going like, all of that makes me feel bad, so I don’t want to engage with it at all. Leave it alone. Put it over there. I hope it all turns into a 100%, and then, oops, I got to take from that to pay our bills. That’s what you’re feeling, right?
[00:13:12] Sandra: Yeah. And every month we have to take from it, and so it leaves me feeling just freaked out about it all. I don’t see a logical reason why we don’t earn enough money from earned income as opposed to investment income to just pay our monthly expenses.
7. On Debt and Credit
Debt can feel like a normal part of life for most. We hear phrases like, “Everyone has credit card debt,” or, “I’ll pay it off when I get a raise,” and oftentimes, those beliefs impact how we manage or mismanage debt. Here are some common money scripts examples related to debt and credit:
- “Debt is a normal part of life.”
- “Being in debt is just part of living.”
- “I can always use credit cards in an emergency.”
- “Credit cards are free money.”
- “I’ll pay it off when I get my next raise/bonus.”
- “Everyone has credit card debt.”
Brandon and Ashley are a couple navigating debt management. Like many, they’re influenced by common beliefs about debt. Brandon prefers the comfort of making minimum payments, believing it’s better not to feel financially strapped, while Ashley is laser-focused on paying off their debt aggressively.
[00:06:25] Ramit: Do you ever bring up money yourself, Brandon?
[00:06:27] Brandon: Only if I want to purchase– like when I was wanting to buy the snowmobile
[00:06:34] Ramit: How did you bring it up?
[00:06:36] Brandon: I told her that I had found the snowmobile, and it was a really good price for what it was, and that I enjoyed riding them when I was younger and just wanted to get back into snowmobiling.
[00:06:51] Ramit: Is there an ask it there, or were you telling her, or what was the deal?
[00:06:55] Brandon: She had looked over the budget and we ended up getting a little loan for it. And then went picked it up.
[00:07:04] Ramit: How much was the snowmobile?
[00:07:06] Brandon: 2,500 bucks.
[00:07:08] Ramit: What interest rate? Do you know?
[00:07:10] Brandon: I don’t know.
[00:07:12] Ramit: Ashley?
[00:07:13] Ashley: I don’t remember.
[00:07:16] Ramit: How long did it take you to pay off?
[00:07:18] Ashley: Yeah, 3 or 4 years.
[00:07:20] Ramit: Oh. What do you think about that? Shit. I shouldn’t have given my reaction the way I did. That’s why I don’t play poker. All right. Well, even knowing my reaction, what do you think about four years to pay off a 2,500-dollar loan?
[00:07:34] Brandon: Looking back at it, I probably should have waited.
[00:07:38] Ramit: Yeah? For what?
[00:07:39] Brandon: Till we had the money.
[00:07:42] Ramit: So the primary challenge that you’re both facing is you have debt, and you disagree about how aggressively to pay it off. Is that right?
[00:07:52] Brandon: Yeah.
[00:07:53] Ramit: All right, Ashley, you want to pay it off what?
[00:07:55] Ashley: As aggressively as possible. So right now we’re paying way over what our minimum payments are to try and get especially the credit card debt paid off as soon as we can. That’s been my main focus because the interest rate is so high. And then after that, I have kind debt payoff schedule that’s snowballing all of the payments.
[00:08:23] Ramit: Okay. And Brandon?
[00:08:25] Brandon: I was more of minimum payments just so we weren’t strapped.
[00:08:30] Ramit: Okay. Do you know how much you spend per year?
[00:08:34] Brandon: I don’t know.
[00:08:35] Ashley: I think we spend more than we need to, so I know that we could be putting more towards it. But I know that Brandon has expressed not wanting to stop living and stop having some of the luxuries of life to pay off the debt that we’ve accumulated.
[00:08:58] Ramit: Mm-hmm.
[00:09:00] Ashley: So I’m trying to find some balance between those two things.
[00:09:04] Ramit: Okay. Why are you the one finding the balance, Ashley, out of curiosity?
[00:09:10] Ashley: He doesn’t really have or doesn’t seem to have any interest in figuring out the financial piece of it.
[00:09:18] Ramit: Does that concern you?
[00:09:20] Ashley: It frustrates me. It feels like it’s all on my shoulder sometimes to figure out how we’re getting out of the debt or when, because things weren’t always what they are right now, like salary wise or whatever. But when we have been in a worse situation, I was always the one figuring out where rent was coming from or how we’re paying the mortgage. And now I’m the one figuring out how we’re going to pay off our debt and he just wants to be able to spend the money.
[00:09:59] Ramit: Why are you the one doing it?
[00:10:04] Ashley: I don’t know why he doesn’t want a piece of it. I don’t know if he thinks he can’t. I try and get him to sit down with me to pay the bills and do it together, but he just doesn’t seem to be interested in doing it together.
[00:10:20] Ramit: I’m going to ask again, same question. Why are you the one doing it?
[00:10:26] Ashley: Somebody’s got to do it.
8. On Money and Life Purpose
Many people grow up with the belief that focusing on earning money can make living a meaningful life hard. Maybe you’ve heard “We don’t need money to be happy.” But this belief can prevent you from pursuing financial success, especially if you feel like you must choose between living your life and securing finances.
Here are some common money scripts examples in this category:
- “It’s not spiritual to focus on money.”
- “Caring about money means I’m not focusing on what really matters.”
- “We don’t need money to be happy.”
- “It’s not possible to do work you love and make good money.”
- “You come from a long line of teachers and farmers. Don’t expect to earn much money.”
- “Financial security comes at the cost of following your passion.”
9. On Balancing Risk and Security
When it comes to balancing risk and security, some people like to go with the flow, while some people feel the need to stockpile money “just in case” something goes wrong. While both mindsets are understandable, they can lead to imbalances if taken to the extreme. Here are some money scripts examples around risk and security:
- “Keep a little money set aside, just in case.”
- “Things will work themselves out.”
- “Stop worrying. Things always turn out fine for us.”
- “I’m more of a ‘go with the flow’ kind of person.”
- “Why are you so obsessed with money? Can’t you just relax?”
- “Saving for emergencies means I’m expecting bad things to happen.”
- “I’m young and healthy, I don’t need an emergency fund.”
Noor and Jibran are a couple caught between balancing financial security and enjoying life’s experiences. While Noor wanted to prioritize travel and making memories, Jibran, a business owner, often felt the need to stockpile money “just in case” something went wrong. As we were talking, they had a realization—they didn’t need to wait until they had millions to start living their Rich Life.”
[00:43:11] Noor: The traveling one is very intriguing, living in different places and nice places experiencing the world. Yeah, that would be really nice. And we both work remote. We could do it.
[00:43:22] Ramit: You got to wait till you have $9 million?
[00:43:24] Noor: Oh, that’s true. We should–
[00:43:26] Ramit: No, do you? I’m asking. Do you have to wait to have $9 million to travel more?
[00:43:34] Noor: No.
[00:43:35] Ramit: Okay, how much?
[00:43:37] Noor: I don’t know. We probably have enough now.
Living Your Rich Life With New Money Scripts
What does it mean to live a Rich Life? For many, the term “rich” makes them visualize images of luxury, wealth, or extravagant vacations. But here’s the truth: living a Rich Life isn’t about having unlimited money—it’s about aligning your finances with your personal values and goals. And the first step to doing that is by rewriting your old money scripts.
Defining Your Personal Rich Life
Have you ever asked yourself, “Why do I want to be rich?” Understanding the deeper why behind your financial goals is crucial for defining your Rich Life. It’s not just about gaining money—it’s about what being rich enables you to do and how it aligns with your core values. By identifying your motivations, whether it’s to spend more time with family, travel the world, or pursue a passion without financial worry, you can begin to shape a financial plan that feels meaningful.
But a lot of times, outdated money scripts hold us back from realizing that vision. Think about it: do you find yourself avoiding big purchases because you’ve been taught that “spending money is irresponsible,” even when the purchase could bring you ten times the value? This and other classic money scripts are just some that can limit you.
What if you rewrote those scripts? Imagine shifting your thinking from “I can’t afford this” to “How can I make this part of my Rich Life?” When you define your own version of a Rich Life, you can align your spending and saving habits with what truly matters to you.
For a more comprehensive guide, check out this post here
Aligning New Money Scripts With Your Values and Goals
Once you’ve defined your Rich Life, the next step is to align your new money scripts with your values. Maybe you’ve always believed, “I shouldn’t spend money on myself,” but deep down, you value self-care and personal growth. So you gain a new mindset of “Investing in myself is investing in my future” which opens up possibilities for experiences or purchases that enhance your well-being.
This guide on how to make expensive purchases is a perfect way to start thinking about how to make financial decisions that reflect your values. This isn’t about spending recklessly—it’s about prioritizing what truly enhances your life.
Creating a Plan to Support Your Rich Life Vision
Lastly, no vision of a Rich Life is complete without a solid plan to support it. Once you’ve rewritten your money scripts and aligned them with your values, it’s time to put those ideas into action.
Whether that means automating your savings, investing for the future, or carefully planning for expensive purchases, the key is to make sure your money is working for you. Learn how to create a plan to get rich that’s not just about growing wealth, but about making sure your financial strategy aligns with the life you want to live.
By rewriting your money scripts, you can transform your relationship with money and start living a life that feels fulfilling and aligned with your goals. So, what’s the first money script you’re ready to change?
It’s one of the best things I’ve published (and 100% free), just tell me where to send it:
