Perhaps our generation’s greatest failing is how lazy we are.
How many of my readers have sent me emails talking about how they want to change… how they want to improve their finances, earn more, or get healthier…or even READ my book (which is sitting under their bed)… but they simply can’t find the motivation to do so?
Thousands and thousands every year.
Interestingly, we GENUINELY want to change our behavior. We simply cannot figure out how to stop being lazy. We use words like “motivation” (one of the worst words to use in behavioral change since it means almost nothing). We say the “S” word: “Yeah, I really should do that…”
We do all kinds of things that seem intuitive, but are worthless at best, and counter-productive at worst.
Think about the most common things you want to change. For most of us, they fall into similar buckets: Improve our careers, money, relationships, and health. Under those, you get specific things like “I want to travel more”, “I want to work less”, “I want to stop procrastinating”.
All achievable. Yet few of us do.
Over the last 12 years, I’ve developed several models for driving behavioral change. That’s how I get results like this.
I publicize these behavioral models of these in a variety of places, and some I keep private.
Here are some important notes about changing your own behavior:
- Whenever you say “should” — “Yeah, I really should do X” or “They should just do Y” — you have already lost
- Guilt is not a productive emotion
- Quick wins produce massive momentum for behavioral change. (Hint: This is why financial books that begin with “create a budget” are almost never effective. This is a massively important and frequently missed point.)
- Automation is more powerful than almost anyone can imagine
- Simply “trying harder” will almost never work, yet most Americans follow this policy repeatedly for their entire lives
- Tactics are not enough. Most of us have crippling barriers and invisible scripts that “screen” out even the most sophisticated tactics. (For example, I could give you the best tips on earning more ever created, but if you don’t believe you deserve money, nothing matters — you will not even process the tips.)
I can get into more of this later, but today, I wanted to share an extremely insightful comment I ran across about being lazy.
How to stop being lazy: one Redditor’s answer
The answer one commenter gave was so insightful that I’m re-posting it here for my own readers:
QUESTION: How can I stop being so damn lazy?
BEST ANSWER: “Look man, there are literally hundreds of good ways to get on with the tasks on your plate.
I find a combination of good goal setting and use of things like The Pomodoro Technique work wonders for helping me get stuff done and move forward.
But it’s not so much about being productive. It’s about living up to your word.
I’m guessing that you’re a creative, intelligent sort of person. Are you a perfectionist? That seems likely. Oftentimes, people with those characteristics really get bogged down by the magnitude of the tasks in front of them. Doing something means risking failing at it. Sometimes that risk seems to loom so large, and the drive to perfectionism is so strong, that any sort of meaningful and productive task just seems like it’s not worth it. Why risk failing, when you can just do something else instead?
Of course, in the back of your mind you know that those choices are causing you to fail anyway. That’s why you’re miserable.
So you have to re-think things in a different way. First up, you have to give yourself permission to fail, permission to be less than perfect sometimes. Failing at something, making mistakes, opens up a great opportunity to learn something new.
Second, you have to recognize that laziness and procrastination are destructive to your word. When you take on a task you make a promise to somebody (perhaps just yourself, but somebody) that you will complete that task. Putting that off brings you out of integrity with your word in the matter. That’s not bad, or wrong, it just is what there is in the situation.
But integrity is the thing that makes life work. It is the structure that holds our interactions together. When integrity fails, the structure collapses. Honoring your word is the way to make sure that the integrity of the situation remains intact.
The best way to honor your word is to put it into some sort of reality. Start making and keeping a schedule, and a to-do list, if you don’t already. Start planning your actions, breaking them into smaller tasks that are more easily achievable. Those things serve as a very real reminder that you’ve made a promise that you need to keep. Your word has to be the thing that keeps you moving forward. Honoring that word has to become your primary motivation.
You also need to enlist others to keep you accountable. Get a friend to check up with you, and kick your ass. When you need motivating to take an action, somebody is there to hold you accountable for that action. This piece alone helped me finally finish up a college degree that had been awaiting completion for over 6 years. My friends found out, did all they could to help, and held me accountable to get it done.
But, most importantly, you have to recognize that honoring your word to yourself is absolutely critical. It’s easy to keep promises to others, we don’t like to disappoint. But it’s much harder to keep your word with yourself. You are every bit as deserving of that respect as anybody else who might be involved.
Change your perspective. It’ll change your life.”
Nicely put. See the full discussion on how to stop being lazy here.
Want to stop being lazy? Start by listening to my interview with BJ Fogg
Earlier this year, I spent 16 hours prepping for a very special phone call. One of my mentors, Stanford psychologist BJ Fogg, taught me much of what I know about psychology and persuasion.
I asked him to spend an hour with me, where we would share our favorite techniques and tactics on behavioral change — on everything from money to exercising and flossing.
We talked about favorite persuasion studies from the academic research — then spend time sharing some of the persuasion models we’ve developed ourselves. And we recorded it.
It’s easy to find some jackass blogger who can write “TOP 10 WAYS TO INFLUENCE YOUR NETWORK!!!” But finding someone who has a deep, thorough knowledge of academic research, plus practical persuasion is extraordinarily rare.
If you’re interested in how to change your own behavior, I strongly encourage you to spend an hour listening to our conversation.
You can’t get this kind of material anywhere else, and BJ is a tremendous expert with a lifetime of experience.
Here’s what a few people said about the talk:
“Fantastic podcast… I have 5 pages of notes and a few great ideas to apply to my next training class I am holding in 2 weeks time.
I realise that I must change BEHAVIOUR, then the attitude and information will fall into place – the information itself is not enough.
Thanks Ramit & BJ.”
- Michelle Brown
“I got so many things from this that it’s difficult to choose. However, the two that really grabbed me were:
1. show gratitude
2. with the right baby steps you can get almost anyone, including yourself, to do anything.
I am off now to do some baby steps.
Thank you BJ and Ramit. Also thanks for posting the audio and transcript.”
- Rob Middleton
“The one thing? That people are not rational. I KNOW this, but my default seems to be a belief that just a little more of the right information will do the job. Maybe it’s because deep down, I don’t want to admit that I’m not as rational as I would like to be, along with everyone else.”
- Christina Ochs Nichols
In this conversation, here are a few nuggets that we share:
- Why you should never use the word “motivation”
- How to use the same principles that top persuasion experts use to persuade YOURSELF to change
- How a famous social psychologist used “self-persuasion” to change the way Americans eat
- How to use a simple, powerful technique to make yourself floss every night
- The role of barriers in persuasion
- One of the most famous examples of self-persuasion from WWII — and how you can use it yourself
- Unconventional approaches BJ has used to help people get dream jobs, get speaking engagements, and get national recognition
- How to become an expert in your field
- How to get a dream job that’s not on ANY job board
- How to carve out a niche for yourself where you’re the world’s best person — and you can command the according respect and rates
Most importantly, instead of feeling guilty about how lazy you are, you’ll learn productive techniques to change your behavior. And that is, quite simply, why this site exists.
Sign up below to get the free interview – which you can’t get anywhere else:
(Can’t see the above form? Click here.)