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Start Here: “The Ultimate Guide to Habits”

How do I stop being so damn lazy?

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Perhaps our generation’s greatest failing is how lazy we are.

How many of my readers have sent me emails talking about how they want to change… how they want to improve their finances, earn more, or get healthier…or even READ my book (which is sitting under their bed)… but they simply can’t find the motivation to do so? They can’t stop being lazy.

can't stop being lazy

Thousands and thousands every year.

Interestingly, we GENUINELY want to change our behavior. We simply cannot figure out how to stop being lazy. We use words like “motivation” (one of the worst words to use in behavioral change since it means almost nothing). We say the “S” word: “Yeah, I really should do that…”

We do all kinds of things that seem intuitive, but are worthless at best, and counter-productive at worst.

Think about the most common things you want to change. For most of us, they fall into similar buckets: Improve our careers, money, relationships, and health. Under those, you get specific things like “I want to travel more”, “I want to work less”, “I want to stop procrastinating”.

All achievable. Yet few of us do.

Over the last 12 years, I’ve developed several models for driving behavioral change. That’s how I get results like this.

I publicize these behavioral models of these in a variety of places, and some I keep private.

Important behaviors on how to stop being lazy

  • Whenever you say “should” — “Yeah, I really should do X” or “They should just do Y” — you have already lost
  • Guilt is not a productive emotion
  • Quick wins produce massive momentum for behavioral change. (Hint: This is why financial books that begin with “create a budget” are almost never effective. This is a massively important and frequently missed point.)
  • Automation is more powerful than almost anyone can imagine
  • Simply “trying harder” will almost never work, yet most Americans follow this policy repeatedly for their entire lives
  • Tactics are not enough. Most of us have crippling barriers and invisible scripts that “screen” out even the most sophisticated tactics. (For example, I could give you the best tips on earning more ever created, but if you don’t believe you deserve money, nothing matters — you will not even process the tips.)

I can get into more of this later, but today, I wanted to share an extremely insightful comment I ran across about being lazy.

How to stop being lazy: one Redditor’s answer

The answer one commenter gave was so insightful that I’m re-posting it here for my own readers:

QUESTION: How can I stop being so damn lazy?

BEST ANSWER: “Look man, there are literally hundreds of good ways to get on with the tasks on your plate.

I find a combination of good goal setting and use of things like The Pomodoro Technique work wonders for helping me get stuff done and move forward.

But it’s not so much about being productive. It’s about living up to your word.

I’m guessing that you’re a creative, intelligent sort of person. Are you a perfectionist? That seems likely. Oftentimes, people with those characteristics really get bogged down by the magnitude of the tasks in front of them. Doing something means risking failing at it. Sometimes that risk seems to loom so large, and the drive to perfectionism is so strong, that any sort of meaningful and productive task just seems like it’s not worth it. Why risk failing, when you can just do something else instead?

Of course, in the back of your mind you know that those choices are causing you to fail anyway. That’s why you’re miserable.

So you have to re-think things in a different way. First up, you have to give yourself permission to fail, permission to be less than perfect sometimes. Failing at something, making mistakes, opens up a great opportunity to learn something new.

Second, you have to recognize that laziness and procrastination are destructive to your word. When you take on a task you make a promise to somebody (perhaps just yourself, but somebody) that you will complete that task. Putting that off brings you out of integrity with your word in the matter. That’s not bad, or wrong, it just is what there is in the situation.

But integrity is the thing that makes life work. It is the structure that holds our interactions together. When integrity fails, the structure collapses. Honoring your word is the way to make sure that the integrity of the situation remains intact.

The best way to honor your word is to put it into some sort of reality. Start making and keeping a schedule, and a to-do list, if you don’t already. Start planning your actions, breaking them into smaller tasks that are more easily achievable. Those things serve as a very real reminder that you’ve made a promise that you need to keep. Your word has to be the thing that keeps you moving forward. Honoring that word has to become your primary motivation.

You also need to enlist others to keep you accountable. Get a friend to check up with you, and kick your ass. When you need motivating to take an action, somebody is there to hold you accountable for that action. This piece alone helped me finally finish up a college degree that had been awaiting completion for over 6 years. My friends found out, did all they could to help, and held me accountable to get it done.

But, most importantly, you have to recognize that honoring your word to yourself is absolutely critical. It’s easy to keep promises to others, we don’t like to disappoint. But it’s much harder to keep your word with yourself. You are every bit as deserving of that respect as anybody else who might be involved.

Change your perspective. It’ll change your life.”

Nicely put. See the full discussion on how to stop being lazy here.

Want to stop being lazy? Start by listening to my interview with BJ Fogg

Earlier this year, I spent 16 hours prepping for a very special phone call. One of my mentors, Stanford psychologist BJ Fogg, taught me much of what I know about psychology and persuasion.

I asked him to spend an hour with me, where we would share our favorite techniques and tactics on behavioral change — on everything from money to exercising and flossing.

We talked about favorite persuasion studies from the academic research — then spend time sharing some of the persuasion models we’ve developed ourselves. And we recorded it.

It’s easy to find some jackass blogger who can write “TOP 10 WAYS TO INFLUENCE YOUR NETWORK!!!” But finding someone who has a deep, thorough knowledge of academic research, plus practical persuasion is extraordinarily rare.

If you’re interested in how to change your own behavior, I strongly encourage you to spend an hour listening to our conversation.

You can’t get this kind of material anywhere else, and BJ is a tremendous expert with a lifetime of experience.

Here’s what a few people said about the talk:

“Fantastic podcast… I have 5 pages of notes and a few great ideas to apply to my next training class I am holding in 2 weeks time.

I realise that I must change BEHAVIOUR, then the attitude and information will fall into place – the information itself is not enough.

Thanks Ramit & BJ.”

Michelle Brown

“I got so many things from this that it’s difficult to choose. However, the two that really grabbed me were:

1. show gratitude

2. with the right baby steps you can get almost anyone, including yourself, to do anything.

I am off now to do some baby steps.

Thank you BJ and Ramit. Also thanks for posting the audio and transcript.”

Rob Middleton

“The one thing? That people are not rational. I KNOW this, but my default seems to be a belief that just a little more of the right information will do the job. Maybe it’s because deep down, I don’t want to admit that I’m not as rational as I would like to be, along with everyone else.”

Christina Ochs Nichols


In this conversation, here are a few nuggets that we share:

  • Why you should never use the word “motivation”
  • How to use the same principles that top persuasion experts use to persuade YOURSELF to change
  • How a famous social psychologist used “self-persuasion” to change the way Americans eat
  • How to use a simple, powerful technique to make yourself floss every night
  • The role of barriers in persuasion
  • One of the most famous examples of self-persuasion from WWII — and how you can use it yourself
  • Unconventional approaches BJ has used to help people get dream jobs, get speaking engagements, and get national recognition
  • How to become an expert in your field
  • How to get a dream job that’s not on ANY job board
  • How to carve out a niche for yourself where you’re the world’s best person — and you can command the according respect and rates

Most importantly, instead of feeling guilty about how lazy you are, you’ll learn productive techniques to change your behavior. And that is, quite simply, why this site exists.

Sign up below to get the free interview – which you can’t get anywhere else:

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67 Comments on "How do I stop being so damn lazy?"

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Nuzum
Nuzum
5 years 2 months ago

Sounds to me that Ramit is a platinum member of Tony Robbins, both have great advice, but present it differently. But this post really makes me believe that Ramit is trying to be Tony. Both have their places, both have their audiences.

Just thinking out loud here.

Michelle
5 years 2 months ago

We love Ramit and Tony but I seriously doubt Ramit is trying to be like Tony. Hopefully you will hang around for a while to see how Ramit tackles these and other issues!

Joseph Dantes
5 years 2 months ago
Cal Newport talks about another reason for “laziness”, or total demotivation, something he calls “deep procrastination,” which happens to a lot of college students. Cal lists the following reasons for procrastination: 1. Fear (of both success and failure). 2. Perfectionism. 3. We think our work is of low quality. But the biggest, Cal says, is that, “Your brain doesn’t buy your plan.” http://calnewport.com/blog/2011/07/10/the-procrastinating-caveman-what-human-evolution-teaches-us-about-why-we-put-off-work-and-how-to-stop/ Cal has good solutions for students. Ramit Sethi has good solutions for earning money. But these are specific rather than general answers. The real problem is not the plan itself, but the plan before the plan… or,… Read more »
Vince
5 years 1 month ago

I disagree! The system isn’t the problem – deep procrastination is an indication of no motivation. However, motivation is a studied topic and there are strategies for biasing our own thinking to become more motivated. On my blog, I discuss motivation strategies originally developed to help drug addicts recover; a major motivation win (http://www.happyhomunculus.com/2011/07/week-of-motivation.html). Break out some metacognition and change your thinking first! Rock on!

Russell
Russell
3 months 20 days ago

A plan before the plan seems more like a good way to procrastinate further to me. Where does that madness end- a plan to plan for the plan that we are planning, and lets not forget the plan we need to generate in order to get to the plan that we are planning of doing on how we plan to create our plan.

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[…] has good solutions for students. Ramit Sethi has good solutions for earning money. But these are specific rather than general […]

John Doe
John Doe
5 years 2 months ago
1. Details. Be very specific. If your goal is to make more money then you basically need to map out a business plan. Not a biz school type of plan, but a real business idea with concrete ways that you will make money off this thing, hopefully from the beginning. Even if you are a full time employee, you are still selling your time, and that’s a business. Map out your strategy for getting that raise or perhaps jumping ship. 2. Treat it like a job. If you need to make more money and you have gone through step number… Read more »
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[…] I happened apon two that together struck a cord.  First is This Article by Ramit Sethi Titled How do I Stop Being so Damn Lazy?  In the article Ramit talks about how lazy “Our Generation” is and how we […]

Freud
Freud
5 years 2 months ago

“In this conversion, here are a few nuggets that we share”

Freudian slip

Anca
Anca
5 years 2 months ago

Took me a long time between buying your book and starting to read it. No surprise that it’s taken me a long time to make progress in reading a book on procrastination. Fear of failure/success is a huge hurdle.

imelda
5 years 2 months ago
Sigh. My first time on your blog in a while, and I was excited to see an interesting topic. Yet as usual, it requires some sort of sign-up at the end. Why? If you’re not going to use our email addresses to send us spammy appeals and sales pitches and whatnot, then why even require it? I’m already on the newsletter list, so I’m already hassled every time I visit this website with the popup invite to join. Now, to get content, I need to provide my information again. I see that you spent a lot of time on this… Read more »
imelda
5 years 2 months ago

Again – just to clarify – I, too, agree that it’s fair to ask for our email addresses. I just think you should state WHY you’re asking for it.

As you (probably don’t) know, I’ve been a subscriber for a long time. I go back and forth on this stuff. Among your readers, I am NOT alone in feeling like you send too many pitchy emails. Many people have complained about it.

It is a little disheartening that, every time people complain about something, you tell us we’re not right for your site.

Sam
Sam
3 months 20 days ago
I have also wondered why the request for email addresses appears so frequently EVEN IF I’M ALREADY ON THE LIST. I’m happy to receive the emails; I am capable of deciding whether to read them. I understand the request from NEW visitors but not the perpetual barrier to content. Where is the BJ Fogg podcast for those who are already subscribers? The annoying thing is putting my name and email into your system EVERY TIME I’d like to check out the free content you’re pointing to. Several times I’ve gone through the loop and never arrive at the thing I… Read more »
KGreen
5 years 2 months ago
Personally, when I get up in the morning the best thing for me to do is eat a good hearty breakfast and go work out. Whether thats going to the gym or going for a run around my neighborhood. I find that it makes my day a lot more productive. I try to focus on killing two birds with one stone to be more productive as well. For instance, when I go for a run, I run to a neighborhood that I am interested in buying real estate. And, it just makes it more enjoyable for me (since I enjoy… Read more »
Justin
Justin
5 years 2 months ago
I’ve had some success changing my behavior by using positive reinforcement to try and make myself want to do something. For example, I want to want to workout regularly – if I can make the jump from “wanting to want” to “wanting to workout”, that’s a huge behavioral change, and makes behaviors easier to accomplish and automate because they are desirable. It also effectively combats procrastination. It’s a slow process, but I reinforce myself positively whenever I observe that I “want to want” to workout. Eventually – after about 4 weeks of continued observations of these thoughts and subsequent rewards… Read more »
Beth
Beth
1 year 1 month ago

How do you “reward” yourself?

MD
5 years 2 months ago
I listened to this a while back. I’m going to give it another listen. The one point that I will never forget from this is the idea that you can convince people to do a few small things much easier than one big task (something along those lines). I’ve applied that tip to every single area of my life. No girl will ever go home with a stranger. Most will however agree to leave to grab a snack. The rest is up to you. Blog readers won’t just buy something from you. They will give you their email in exchange… Read more »
Richard Millington
5 years 2 months ago
I think the secret to beat most procrastination is to have a system. Something that feels easy. For example, I’m currently writing a lesson for a course I’m running. Everything was flowing until I reached a section I wasn’t sure how to tackle. This is usually where I decide to ‘take a quick break’. Perhaps check Twitter/FB/Blog comments etc. These breaks can turn into afternoon-long sessions if I spot something that interests me. My system these days is to identify that temptation to check those platforms and tell myself: “ok, I’m going to make the slightest dent in this next… Read more »
sarah m.
sarah m.
5 years 2 months ago
This is my first comment on this blog. I appreciated the BJ Fogg interview. The baby steps interview articulated a principle I practiced many years ago. I started running for enjoyment in college (10+ years ago). I started out telling myself I would just run a bit and stop when I no longer enjoyed it, even if I only made it two blocks. As I accomplished those goals, I would start adding time in very small increments. About three years later I ran a full marathon. I had forgotten about this principle. I’m currently working on some fitness goals, and… Read more »
Brandon
Brandon
5 years 2 months ago

“Unconventional approaches BJ has used to help people get dream jobs, get speaking engagements, and get national recognition”

Unconventional, BJ, dream job and national recognition should never be used in the same sentence…..

Michelle Brown
5 years 2 months ago

Ramit – thanks for including my comment! I had forgotten about it but elements of that interview do often pop back into my head!

I have found a way of influencing behaviour is through creating “Standard Work” and then auditing it, in a company environment, and having behaviour influence others who have trouble buying into a change process.

Behavioural change on an individual level is more challenging but the principles are the same!

Ben
Ben
5 years 2 months ago
Nice psycho talk. I have a Phd in accounting with a concentration in behavioral psych. We all have anchoring heuristics that dictate behavior. Changing them is not simply using some code word like should have or would have. It takes significant behavioral change in our decision making processes not just a slick blog filled with Tony Robbins football coach Rah Rah talk. Please get serious and stop wasting the most important resource everyone has … TIME. Stanford has one of the best industrial psych departments in the world. Let’s use something in the DSM and not option.
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[…] How do I stop being so damn lazy? […]

Howard
5 years 2 months ago

I discovered (about 12 years ago) that a huge component of my lethargy/laziness came from my diet. Once I eliminated sugar, grain, and transfats from my diet, not only did I lose 100 lbs and improve my health, but I got a boost in my physical energy and my ability to focus my mind.

Joseph Dantes
5 years 2 months ago

Same here. I think it would make sense for Ramit to partner with some kind of paleo diet info resource, since he’s interested in behavior change.

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[…] How do I stop being so damn lazy? […]

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[…] has good solutions for students. Ramit Sethi has good solutions for earning money. But these are specific rather than general […]

Shaleen Shah
5 years 2 months ago

Sometimes, I wonder if technology is to blame for this generation of slacktivists that we are all in. I guess, one can always think that there will be no tomorrow so they have to do their best – today. Love your insights, anyway.

RustyH
RustyH
5 years 2 months ago
My father always said I was lazy when I didn’t put the screwdriver back when I was done with it. I explained to him “If I was lazy, I would have never used the screwdriver in the first place.” I do not have fear of success nor failure. I am a perfectionist but a minimalist so it is even. I know my work is of high quality, though my clients believe my work is of a genius. Unfortunately, whenever I “begin to begin” a project, I instantaneously feel the urge of “I don’t want to do this”. It’s not a… Read more »
Joseph Buchignani
5 years 2 months ago

Given that you’re not lazy and have Aspergers, you’re probably experiencing anxiety produced by the mental resistance of a blossoming set of possibility trees and unprioritized actionables that you don’t know how to properly process into your digital info processing system.

The hurdle of beginning to begin is what eliminating resistance by creating an automatic workflow is all about.

Blake Mills
5 years 2 months ago

I often run into this, especially when I’m working from home. What I’ve found that works for me is regular quick phone calls with others in similar situations. Kind of a HooRa! motivational check-in a couple times during the day.

This worked so well for me that I’m building a service specifically around automated short group accountability calls. It’s called 15 Minute Calls (15minutecalls.com) and you can set-up regular quick accountability calls for yourself. Enjoy and let me know if you stop by. 😉

Aaron
5 years 2 months ago

Hi Ramit. Your views have certainly challenged my thoughts on personal finance. I have been one of “those” bloggers who tend to focus more on the save here and there – while sometimes neglecting that the greater reward can be in creating more income.

jcran
5 years 2 months ago

Also, I’m surprised this wasn’t mentioned before, but MEASUREMENT is critical – whatever you’re trying to change! Money, health, how many emails you sent today, whatever. If you really want to get good at something, find a way to measure it and stick it in your face, so that you can’t avoid it!

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5 years 1 month ago

[…] How to Stop Being so Damn Lazy A great post for all bloggers. “It’s easy to find some jackass blogger who can write ‘TOP 10 WAYS TO INFLUENCE YOUR NETWORK!!!’ But finding someone who has a deep, thorough knowledge of academic research, plus practical persuasion is extraordinarily rare.” […]

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[…] sometimes that’s true. I just wrote a blog post on laziness, because it really does hold people back. But often times, the issue isn’t a lack of ambition: […]

Lazy?
1 year 29 days ago

We are lazy because it feels good fullstop.

The problem is that this world is hardly inviting us to a wonderful life. We’re riding a self-destructing train, in which all passengers are aware of but can’t do anything about it.

We are all a coincidental mistake with no real purpose other than making the world worse day by day and moaning about it apparently.

Try to make the best out of it.

– C

jose
jose
11 months 13 days ago

I was so lazy, I didn’t even finish the article….

Katnis
Katnis
11 months 9 days ago

too….. many …. big… words………

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10 months 7 days ago

[…] tips to overcome laziness Why you should avoid the easy life at all costs How do I stop being lazy? 5 ways to get energized and motivated when you feel lazy 8 easy steps to beat […]

Vonahumpalot
Vonahumpalot
10 months 6 days ago

Do work son.

dee
dee
10 months 1 day ago
Hello. I’m mot usually lazy person or I didn’t used to be iv written list after list of what I want to do and do a time scale It didn’t work like stopping smoking getting more meals I did that for a while but got bored of it quite quickly I’m easily irritated by the smallest of things. I go to work at 7 and finish at 1 in the after noon. If I don’t do things like tyding straight away I won’t do it or I’ll do half a job still thinking I should really do it it won’t… Read more »
Daniel Welsch
9 months 14 days ago

I know people who call themselves perfectionists and don’t do much more than sit around watching TV. I guess the perfectionism is so paralyzing that they prefer to do something it’s impossible to fail at.

Anyway, failure is almost never final. I’ve learned to accept imperfection and just put things out there, and it’s been a great strategy. You can always improve the product later, if it turns out to be more or less successful.

Kendrick Hammond
Kendrick Hammond
8 months 18 days ago

Ever sense my previous employment fell threw, finding work has been hard/ near impossible for me. With the lack of a diploma I fear I’ll never be successful in my life. This fear has draw laziness upon me. I can no longer think strait or clearly anymore. I have a minimum amount of cash, and I am sick of it. I just want to be wealthy, and happy with myself. Please if anyone could leave me feedback, or an email of help I would appreciate it very much.

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[…] not accomplishing much in the time you allot to do something, then definitely there is something wrong with your self-discipline. With the consideration on the amount of time you give for the task to be accomplished. A solution […]

Alonelyblogger
5 months 14 days ago
Was going to subscribe till I read your snarky reply to the reader who asked you to state why you ask for emails. Instead of answering the question, you try to push the issue back on them. Way to be professional (as I assume you like to think of yourself as). It could’ve been easy to say “I like to provide my readers updates on my content”, or “I like to send my subscribers extra content not posted on my page”. Not “If you are asking why, it means you don’t trust me (a completely random author). And if you… Read more »
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[…] I Will Teach You To Be Rich author Ramit Sethi interviewed his old mentor, Stanford University persuasion expert BJ Fogg, for a podcast, Fogg noted that studies show “our context controls us in a huge way.” A friend of his […]

Omar
Omar
5 months 11 days ago

Simply I’m too lazy to read .. ironic

Irakli
Irakli
4 months 20 days ago

im so lazy, cant read this

Brenna
Brenna
3 months 20 days ago
I’m definitely carrot-and-stick driven, but if it’s only a stick I will hold out until the very last minute (deadlines, fines, etc.). A few years ago I created a “Procrastination List” and wrote down all the stupid things that I had been avoiding for months or even years and rated them by difficulty or time to complete. I then made a simple reward system: by earning X amount of points, I could by myself a new pair of Chuck Taylors. And it was enough to work for me. I knocked a bunch of looming items off my list over a… Read more »
Brenna
Brenna
3 months 20 days ago

*buy, not by. >:(

Fred
Fred
3 months 20 days ago

This is awesome! I am 17 years old and moving out to college on my own next year. Thank you, Ramit, I will definitely use this and your other tools to help guide me. I’ve written out a year 1 finance plan for the coming year and I would really appreciate it if you could check it out.

lisa
lisa
3 months 20 days ago

I get why you ask for our email addresses…its too keep “us” that procrastinate encouraged…I get it.
I get the Tony pitch… I love it! I love the Ramit pitches… I love it. I love it because I know ONE day, ONE soon I will open an email from Ramit and say, “Damn, it… this is my day to make a choice.”
Please keep the positive messages flowing. Because I do read them.

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[…] can find their stories here: How Do I Stop Being So Damn Lazy? (Tweet […]

Lisa Wimberley
Lisa Wimberley
2 months 18 days ago
We all have advantages and disadvantages. Someone has many advantages, someone less. But worth remembering every good side has backward side, as described herehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strengths_and_weaknesses_(personality). Actually this lack is in each of us. Who says he do not have laziness – it’s not true. Sooner or later each of us in life comes a time when he wants to give up and just do nothing. It is a moment of weakness and laziness. But this does not mean that this person is weak, eventually we are just people! Any workaholic, can give up and just do nothing. Well as any laziest… Read more »
Lisa
Lisa
2 months 14 days ago
We all have advantages and disadvantages. Someone has many advantages, someone less. But worth remembering every good side has backward side, as described here (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strengths_and_weaknesses_(personality). Actually this lack is in each of us. Who says he do not have laziness – it’s not true. Sooner or later each of us in life comes a time when he wants to give up and just do nothing. It is a moment of weakness and laziness. But this does not mean that this person is weak, eventually we are just people! Any workaholic, can give up and just do nothing. Well as any… Read more »
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[…] sometimes that’s true. I wrote a blog post on laziness because it really does hold people back. But often times, the issue isn’t a lack of ambition: […]

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[…] sometimes that’s true. I wrote a blog post on laziness because it really does hold people back. But often times, the issue isn’t a lack of ambition: […]

Jade
Jade
1 month 23 days ago

I couldn’t finish reading this article, it’s too long and I’m lazy

brandon
brandon
1 month 11 days ago

im too lazy to read all that, can somebody sum it up for me

Sam
Sam
11 days 18 minutes ago

Try not to confuse laziness with inability to manage your time.
If you can’t manage your time, you can’t do anything.
Laziness is when you know what you want, but you don’t understand why you need it.
The lack of understanding of what you do is the exact definition of laziness. The most difficult stuff is to force yourself to grow, study
and work hard)) http://myessayshelp.org/ will help you!

bubuza
bubuza
5 days 20 hours ago

And i’m too lazy to read them all

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