“Help! My mind ‘goes blank’ when I talk to people”
92 Comments- Get free updates of new posts here
Let’s COUNT the ways that some of you have been socially awkward when meeting new people:
- You walk up to 2 people talking. Stand there awkwardly while waiting for one of them to notice you. Wish for death
- You start telling a story to a group of people and — in the middle of it — realize the story sucks. Continue anyway
- You go to an event and instead of meeting people, pull out your phone and furiously check email
To my socially awkward IWT readers: I know the feeling. The stylish, charming Ramit Sethi you now know wasn’t always so smooth.
I would walk into meetings and make a point, then writhe in pain at the silence in the room, since nobody understood what point I was making. Once, on a phone call after I’d spent 2 minutes talking, one person paused and said, “So…what exactly do you want?” I had no reply.
The good news is, you can improve at having better conversations, more fun, and even become more attractive.
So today, I wanted to share a question from IWT reader Emily S.:
“How do you approach companies/or anything else when you don’t have any confidence? I seem to go mentally blank. And the words don’t come out at all. Backwards and not in order.”
I know the feeling. When I’m with friends, I have the BEST stories. But if I meet a group of people I don’t know, suddenly I have nothing to say. Most people just think “that’s how it goes,” but you can actually treat this as a skill and improve it.
Here — I just posted a video showing how to improve social skills. I compressed some of my best insights into this short video.
- My best strategy for overcoming anxiousness and having something to talk about (so you’ll have good conversation and people will think you’re interesting) (1:22)
- A system to come up with questions that will pull people into conversation with you (3:02)
- The skill you can practice that, once you master it, will make people believe you were “born” confident and eloquent (3:52)
- How to go from socially dysfunctional to competent and confident (4:13)
Watch the video, then respond to this question in the comments below:
What’s one thing you would you do right now if you had more confidence? Also, if you have any embarrassing stories about doing something socially awkward, share them.
I bought some new popcorn so I’m looking forward to reading these.
P.S. If you’re interested in diving even deeper, check out this video where I tear down my own TV appearance and provide exact tactics on how to immediately improve your social skills in under 30 minutes.
Have you ever wondered how it is that some people are basically fine no matter what happens? They always find ...Read More