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Money Diaries: The twentysomething nonprofit worker swimming in student loans

Take a look into the financial struggles of a nonprofit worker saddled with a mountain of debt. What would YOU do in her position?

Tony Tran

After years of depriving financial voyeurs of their favorite series, we’ve decided to relaunch The Money Diaries, articles where we collect stories from real people about their spending habits over seven days and anonymize them.

We LOVE hearing how people spend their money. Unfortunately, people lie — they share purchases that are socially acceptable (eg groceries), but not the purchases they really make (eg four shots of whiskey on a Thursday night).

That’s why we created The Money Diaries. It’s an opportunity for people to give us their REAL spending habits — “good” and “bad” — and insights into how they handle their finances each week.

Today, we’re taking a look into the life of a twentysomething nonprofit worker who wants to quit her job AND move across the country…while she’s saddled with a mountain of student loan debt.

###

Day 1

Amount in checking account: $1,650

9:00 AM: PAYDAY!!! To the tune of $3,450. Added to my existing $1,650, that gives me a healthy $5,100. Though that may seem like a lot, I only get paid once a month. But this day is heaven for me. The bloat in my account never lasts long, though, because $1,625 in rent is the next day (I split that with my husband).

I still get to keep a good amount of the money since I don’t contribute to a 401K. My small nonprofit doesn’t contribute anything so…why bother? 

Though my husband and I have individual checking accounts, we pool our savings together with the goal of building enough to invest in a high yield account.

We’re hoping to get $20,000 in savings before investing. We’re currently at around $18,000, but once we hit our goal, we’ll be putting around $10,000 – $15,000 in it that we plan to NEVER touch (at least until retirement).

However, my husband and I are also in the midst of moving from Chicago to Washington DC for his job, so we’ve had to tap into our savings while we wait for the moving reimbursement from his company. Between the moving van rental, the security deposit, and first month’s rent in one of the most expensive cities in America, we’ve taken a pretty big hit — but hopefully it won’t last long.  

The move comes with a pay raise from his company, though, which also offers great benefits for the two of us (dental, health, etc) since it’s a fancy Fortune 500 job. We are a TWO income household so things like our rent, meals, and groceries are all shared expenses. Who said being married can’t be fun? 

11:00 AM: Now it’s time for the monthly ritual of balancing the bank accounts and scheduling payments. Usually, I spare about 10 minutes while I’m in the office zoned out in my “work mode” and don’t mind thinking about the numbers TOO much. It helps me push through the low-level anxiety that often comes with looking at my bank statements.

Still, I grit my teeth since I’m just moving around money that’s going to disappear soon.

12:30 PM: I realized I forgot my lunch — but I DON’T BUY A LUNCH (the good lunch spot is closed Monday anyway) so I eat a bunch of “snacks” from the company kitchen to hold me over until the end of the day.

6:00 PM: Head to the gym to get my lift on. We paid $1,475 for an annual membership to our gym (that’s ~$122/month). That was a few months ago and this covers both my husband and I. While it’s a BIG chunk at once, it’s cheaper overall than paying month-by-month. It’s those small things that we do to save $5 – $10 a month that add up when it comes to saving for other things (eg travel, tattoos, burritos at Chipotle, etc).

7:00 PM: After skipping lunch and going through a marathon 3+ hour training in an office with NO AC IN JULY?! then hitting the gym I finally get the sweet sweet bliss of a $7 burrito from Chipotle. Monday Night Burritos are the one meal we budget a week because…well, burritos are awesome.

Day 2

Amount in checking account: $5,093

9:00 AM: Aaaaaand it all comes crashing down as our $1,625 ($812.50/month each) rent needs to be paid. Hopefully, my husband sent me his half already, otherwise I get the lucky chance to front the full amount since my account is flush.

10:00 AM: Time to pay $571 toward my student loans for grad school. The amount that I owe Ms Fannie Mae is in the neighborhood of $35,000 — a number that makes me want to break down every time I think about it.

Since I’m a social worker at a nonprofit, though, I was able to sign up for that public service loan forgiveness plan where if you work for a nonprofit or in government your loans are forgiven after 10 years of payments. So when I set up my loans I did income-based repayment.

It was a gamble because now I’m racking up a lot of interest but it’s been helpful with my career in nonprofit where you definitely need a masters if you want to rise to a director-level position and make better money.

4:45 PM: Paid $2.85 for parking. I tell myself it’s faster than public transit, but I’d just rather not stand butt-to-butt with a stranger on a train for 30 minutes.

5:00 PM: Therapy might not be glamorous but it’s an essential — like going to the gym for your brain! And it’s worth the $15 copay. Thank god for my husband’s benefits, otherwise that amount would be too high to keep my alarming amount of stress and anxiety at bay.

6:30 PM: Run time. My husband and I purposefully adopted a hobby that’s both cheap and healthy. That being said, we’re both training for a race in November that set us back $540 in all.

While that may seem like a lot (and it is), it’s worth it to us because 1. It’s a race in Disney World and 2. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime half-marathon experience — not just another local 5K.

Day 3

Amount in checking account: $3,691.65

9:15 AM: Bought a cup of coffee for $2.75. Normally we buy our coffee in bulk or mooch off the office supply. Social workers run on very little sleep and not a lot of time for full meals. We need coffee. There are riots and pandemonium in the streets when we run out.  

5:30 PM: My husband and I have sub-saving accounts set up just for “fun money.” Today, I dipped into it to get a new tattoo.

Luckily, I’ve developed a good relationship with my tattoo artist, so he always cuts me a deal on the cost (it ended up being $375 for a big piece on my leg). I make up for it with a generous tip of $30.

I’ve been averaging a new tattoo about every six months. So over the course of a year, it doesn’t add up to a LOT of our annual budget — but it does skew things for a week.

Day 4

Amount in checking account: $3,283.90

8:40 AM: Put $40 worth of gas in my car. Driving around the city to go to trainings and meetings takes a toll. Gotta fill up!

Luckily, my job pays for my gas for meetings and trainings. Unluckily, they don’t pay for me for regular commutes to the office.

2:00 PM: This week SUCKED. I deserve a delicious buffalo chicken sandwich and some goddamn mac and cheese from the lunch place across the street from work. Taking a hit of $12 but it’s worth it. Every. Single. Cent.

I may have forgotten my lunch on purpose to justify buying this….

Day 5

Amount in checking account: $3,231.90

2:00 PM: Buy $50 worth of dog food for our Great Pyrenees mountain dog, Moose. He’s roughly the size of a small horse and eats about twice as much. We buy our food in bulk each month.

3:00 PM: It’s the time of the month to pay the credit card bill. This month is a healthy $875. I charge everything if I can for the rewards points. If not, it’s just wasted money, right?

Also, those frequent flyer miles 😍😍😍.

So, I try to pay my credit card bills at the beginning of the month after my ONE paycheck, so I make sure I still have enough money in my account to pay off my cards 100% of the time.

3:01 PM: After paying off credit cards and factoring in student loan payments, I put about $1,000 into our savings account. At this point, my checking looks a little thinner than I’d like, but not too bad. I’d rather invest more into our savings and bootstrap it for the next month.

We use this for our cushion, in case of emergencies (like repairs to the car or purchasing new furniture after we move, the annual gym membership, etc.). We also budget our travel out of this savings pot.

Since the way we travel is jumping on deals as they come up, we can’t plan so far ahead as to say, “This year we’re going to Korea, Spain, and Florida…” but we CAN say, “We can afford one international trip, or two international trips if the 2nd trip is close to $400 in all round trip.” So we DO have an annual travel budget of $1,200 — but from the outside our travel looks spontaneous… like buying two tickets to Spain after discovering the airfare price 20 minutes earlier (something we did last month).

Day 6

Amount in checking account: $1,306.90

5:00 PM: Decide to FINALLY take a tour of our favorite beer maker: Revolution Brewery. My husband and I paid $13.50 a piece for the tour (that included a free beer!) and an additional $14 each for extra beer at the bar. We each pay our own way here.

Oh, the places I’ll miss when we move to DC…

6:30 PM: After spending much more than we intended to on beer, we stopped by Revolution’s tap house and restaurant for dinner with two of our friends. My husband and I spring $14 each on some juicy, much-too-unhealthy-but-oh-so-delicious pub burgers and fries.

I make him pay though. Fringe benefits of being married.

Day 7

Amount in checking account: $1,279.40

5:30 PM: Buy some last-minute groceries for $5.70.

7:00 PM: Date night! Headed out to a theater a bit outside of the city because it’s cheaper ($10 for the both of us).

8:00 PM: Make sure to pay our $15/month HBO subscription because it’s also Game of Thrones night — very necessary.

###

In sum

I think everything went well this week — especially when you consider the unique situation we were in what with:

  1. Getting ready to move across the country
  2. Purchasing things we wouldn’t normally buy (brewery tours, tattoos, etc)

I don’t have a lot left for the month going forward but I don’t mind having to bootstrap it for the time being. Luckily, I can lean on my husband just a bit to get us through the move.

Speaking of which, I was (and still very much am) anxious about the move. If you’ve ever been to Washington DC then you know it ain’t cheap. It’s especially not cheap trying to move there, set up new utilities, pay for new parking spots, and all the other things.

Also, I still don’t have a job lined up out there (though I’m looking!) so we’ll have to rely on my husband’s income to help get us through for the time being. That means absolutely no eating out, getting tattoos, traveling abroad, or pretty much anything else I love doing…which SUCKS.

But, hey, taking risks is what being young is about….right?

Final checking account balance: $1,248.70

Total spent: $2,851.30

Total saved: $1,000

Lunches skipped: 1

Meals eaten out: 3

Tattoos received: 1

Mental breakdowns: Lost count

Deaths in Game of Thrones: I’m not spoiling that for you.

What do you think?

After reading through her financial and domestic situation, what advice would you give the author of today’s Money Diary?

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28 Comments

 
  1. Josh DenHartog

    I don't understand why you have not fully combined your finances with your husband. It seems like you are working together in some areas and goals, but still keeping separate accounts and waiting for "his half" of the rent. As a couple you need to be approaching everything with an "Us" mindset instead of a "Him" and "I" mindset.

    • Kyle

      I could not agree more with this statement. Marriage is a unity of all aspects of two people, from personalities to belongings. I feel someone who keeps score in a "me" vs an "us" way is not planning for the long haul and makes me ask why they got hitched in the first place. I know someone will link an article on how millennials love to approach marriage like a business transaction with its riders, prenups, and contingencies, but how will that business succeed if you have to reserve a piece of yourself to be on the defensive instead of a full focus of taking on the world together? United we stand, divided we fall.

      Other than that your financial discipline seems to be sharp. You know where you stand and you know where you want to be, I admire that. I do not admire the one paycheck a month, that takes some strict management and I applaud your prowess.

    • Tom

      And I couldn't disagree with this more! My parents, married now 60+ years, decided early on to have three accounts — one for each and a joint one they pitch into proportionately to cover shared expenses. That system never failed and they rarely had any fights or disagreements over finances. I then took the same approach into my marriage with the same results.

      Being married does NOT mean everything has to be shared. In fact, there's plenty of research that shows each partner should maintain her/his own "zone" of independence in key areas. That's why couples have shared friends and activities as well as those that aren't.

      I'm not saying this approach is right for everyone, but that's precisely my point… saying that ALL couples should share ALL things is also not right for everyone.

  2. Michelle

    I think it's important for women to have some of their financial lives separate. That way, you know where you stand financially in the event your spouse is disabled or something. Maybe you could get a joint account for shared expenses, like rent, to help automate those payments a bit better.

    You may want to secure employment before or soon after you move. Only payments made while you are working for an eligible non-profit or government agency count toward your 120 payments for Public Service Loan Forgiveness. So, if you are unemployed or are working for a private company, your payments won't count. I'd also get your current employer to sign your PSLF Employment Certification form before you move/quit.

    Best of luck! There are plenty of non-profits in the DC metro region, so you should have no problems finding a job out here.

  3. Elizabeth

    If I were in the OP's shoes I would open a Roth IRA and at least contribute SOMETHING each month – even if it's just $100. There is no reason to wait until you have $20K in savings to do this, especially since you can take your contributions back out of a Roth IRA tax and penalty free any time. That's why many folks will tell you to max out a Roth IRA even before establishing a proper emergency fund – it can double as an emergency fund in a real pinch.

    It's hard to tell if the spending/saving activity in this post are appropriate because we have no idea how much the husband makes. How much the OP makes is pretty irrelevant since she's quitting her job in short order. They do seem to have a great savigns account which is impressive given their age (presumably DH is close to OP in age). But a little bit toward retirement at this stage can go a really long way with decades to compound tax free.

    • Brian

      Agreed. It doesn't seem like she's saving anything toward retirement. Also, if her job doesn't match her 401(k), maybe it's time to start looking around for one that does.

  4. Kevin

    "That means absolutely no eating out, getting tattoos, traveling abroad, or pretty much anything else I love doing…which SUCKS."

    She will have no income after the move, how will that work with the non-joint finances situation? Have you discussed this with your spouse? Is he going to be ok paying your student loans and living expenses?

    Things I would be (re)evaluating with the looming move –
    1) you mentioned "buying parking spaces in DC" but do you really need two cars if a) you don't have a job lined up and b) DC has good public transit from what I remember
    2) people/places she can network to job hunt
    3) cheap entertainment in the new city
    4) look into getting a refund for the partial year of gym membership (unless it is transferable to a DC gym)

    PS – $400+ seems like a big chunk of money to spend on a tattoo when you are anxious about the move

  5. Christina McPants

    Let me add my voice to the OMG, get a Roth IRA contingent. Even if your employer doesn't match, you should still be putting money away towards retirement. It comes up faster than you expect! Building an IRA now and getting in the habit of contributing (maybe 10% monthly), will allow your investment to build over time. There's no taxes on distributions from a Roth IRA and you can pull up to $10K out for a first time home purchase, so it's really a win-win.

    I would strongly encourage you to at least partially combine finances with your husband – at least a joint checking account to cover household expenses that you contribute equal percentages to. Then you don't have to worry about fronting the rent and things like utilities, gym memberships, etc… get pulled from the joint pot and you still have your own pot of money for tattoos and burritos.

  6. Brianna

    I would look into seeing if your husbands health benefits at his new job give you a reimbursement for gym expenses. Many companies will to encourage a healthier lifestyle.

    I also agree on the car front. I may be biased because I live in cities primarily to avoid having the expense of a car. Public transportation in DC is reliable.

  7. Mike

    Ending balance lower than beginning balance is concerning, but given this is a weekly snapshot and major expenses present monthly I can't really tell anything. If month over month is positive, that's a good sign. That said, overall cash flow management seems good/frugal.

    Wealth management seems off the radar and that's not good. The sooner you start *something* the better. Three keys to wealth: timing, leverage and compounding. Learn how they work and interact.

    <Full disclosure, my own trajectory has been non linear and bi-directional, so take this input to someone else for correlation. : ) >

  8. Paulo

    Two things: I just turned 50 and the best thing I ever did was try to put 10% savings in to retirement accounts every year since my 20's. The automatic aspect makes it a no-brainer and it forces you to live your life with the remainder. It has grown a lot in 25 years and has given me and my wife a lot of mental peace and flexibility to do things we might not be able to do without that cushion (including retiring early). The other thing is that I always paid guilt-free for experiences and tried to be frugal with buying stuff. It worked out for me and I never felt deprived. Especially as you get older, stuff becomes a weight on you – both financially and mentally. Hope this helps. 🙂

  9. jae

    If you enjoy everything you're spending on, terrific. But after this first week, you are on a strict budget for the next three, and I dont think the 1k in savings will go untouched. That's pretty unrealistic to do unless you want your spouse to pick up the tab for most of the month entertainment or unexpected expenses. Given the habits and debt you have, you'll definitely want to get a new job. plus the fact that everything will cost more in DC

  10. Jen

    As a recovering former "I'll have Swedish Fish and a Diet Coke for lunch because it's only $2" girl, I empathize with the author. You can't run on coffee alone and it'll catch up to you. Especially if you're training for a half marathon. Eating well pays in dividends that aren't always readily apparent. Who cares if you've got enough in the right mix of Investments if you're not healthy enough to enjoy it?

  11. Ben

    My partner and I have shared finances 100% since marriage three years ago, and it’s worked beautifully for us because it’s forced us to have those money conversations and jointly plan out our purchases and savings. However, I can totally see where that wouldn’t be true for everyone. So I don’t see that as a big issue

    The more immediate problem is that, as some commenters have already noted, you split costs but your personal income will soon be 0. As someone who moved to DC from a lower-cost area, I soon found out that my general living expenses were higher in almost every category. I suggest you line up a job immediately, and pay careful attention to the benefits that your employer offers. A job with the federal government may pay less in salary, but in return you can get a full match on 5% of your TSP contributions (aka the fed 401k). You’ll also accrue a pension (but you’ll pay 4.4% of your salary for it), have access to low-cost health care and life insurance, and possibly $255/month in parking or transit benefits. A private employer might provide all or none of these benefits, or even something much better! Because of the high expenses I found I had to be very strategic about my job selection, salary/benefit negotiation, and where I found housing. But you’re on a good start – just get that new job and save for retirement!

  12. Nan

    While I certainly don't discredit separate accounts for their merits, I agree that you and your husband need more financial transparency. If you're pooling to save for retirement, then cut to the chase and pool in your 20s, because you're really going to have to lean on each other come moving day. He'll likely be working right away, and both of you are going to start to get resentful – you'll have no money and likely using your time to unpack and establish a bit (which is work in and of itself), and he'll have to financially front you for a bit while you're home and job hunting. It's not bad, it's marriage, and it's time to tackle it as a team. If you want a slush fund for fun things, I'd make a concerted effort to automatically contribute an "allowance" to individual accounts for tattoos, meals out without each other, clothes, gifts to each other, and random shopping that isn't "household", etc. I don't really see a ton of red flags in your spending, but as previous commenters have suggested, there's no minimum to open a retirement account… get that going ASAP!

  13. Allison

    Agree that they should have opened some sort of Roth IRA or other retirement account long ago – even without contributions from the nonprofit, I am cringing thinking about all of those lost potential earnings! Also wondering if husband has any type of retirement benefits at his current job.

    I'm in very similar shoes (nonprofit job, similar age [okay FINE I'm 30], mountain of student loan debt) but am single, so I completely understand her struggles and then some. Doing it alone ain't easy, but I'm sure getting paid only once a month makes it more difficult too. I also live in DC and am glad to see she understands what they are walking into in terms of cost of living increase. DC does have excellent public transportation, and depending on what neighborhood they land in, they may end up realizing they can save some money by getting rid of their car(s).

    A new tattoo every 6 months seems like a luxury, but if that is what she wants to spend her money on and they make it work then that's great!

  14. Ryan

    $1,475 for a gym membership!? What!? Ok, first of all, that's crazy, especially if you're worried at all about money, what a waste! There are gyms that are $10 a month! That's $120 a year (plus fees)! Unless you are a crossfire or Orange Theory junky, there is no need to spend this much on a gym. Try YouFit or Planet Fitness, both are like $10/month. Unless you need that luxury gym where they bring you warm towels, wipe down the equipment before you use it and have a juice bar or something, that is seriously a huge waste of money.

    Secondly, cool it with the tattoos. I get it. Tattoos are awesome! I agree, but maybe don't pay $400 for a tattoo because you can't wait another few months or longer when money situation is a little better. That tattoo is with you forever, you can wait until money is not so tight.

    Thirdly, two words: Joint Checking! You and your husband have no accountability to each other, because neither of you can see what the other is spending on. Having a joint account will at least bring to light what you both can really afford, plus maybe you will think twice on what you spend on knowing the other can see what you bought.

  15. Alex

    Wow. This makes me realise just how lucky I am to be where I am today. I remember counting every penny and budgeting the same way this woman does.

    I admire the fact she has built a life within her budget. While waiting to earn more, I ended up foregoing a lot of living – I didn't go to the gym, I lived in shitty flats, with shitty flatmates, rarely went out and I avoided getting into relationships – mainly to avoid the cost.

    I now realise this scarcity mindset also dictated how I spent my time – so I lived less, learnt less and achieved less during that period.

    If I dare offer any advice, it would be to keep living within her means, but recognise that good people are worth good salaries, even in the non-profit sector. So don't stop dreaming, keep pushing for growth, dare to negotiate and have a contingency plan of what you're going to do when you're earning more.

  16. Jason

    I'm very curious as to why nothing was included about what her husband's financial position is.

    I'd be disappointed if it turned out that he out-earns her by a significant margin, but it was omitted because it wouldn't make for a good article.

  17. Rho

    I agree with other commenters regarding pooling finances and striving for financial goals as a couple. My husband and I have shared accounts for mutual expenses and goals in addition to personal accounts for our fun money or "allowance," as a previous poster called it. It's worked very well for us.

    I know you're set on PSLF, but I'd work on paying off your student loans as quickly as possible. You never know if that program will still be in place down the line. I don't know whether you're able to put $1,000 into savings every month, but if you've been able to do that regularly, it wouldn't take too long to pay the loans off, especially if you used a chunk from savings to get a head start.

    If you're not interested in paying the loans off faster, I would definitely start contributing at least something to a retirement account. The sooner you start, the better off you'll be. See Ramit's Smart Sally / Dumb Dan example in the IWTYTBR book.

    Best of luck!

  18. Seriously

    I'm going to get roasted for this, but: older/richer guy or a sugar daddy. I'd like to be on either end of that arrangement.

  19. Justin

    Not judging but $122/month on a gym is absurd. P90X, if you buy a higher-end package w/equipment, supplements, etc. direct from the mfg, is less than $250 (though all you need is the DVDs from Amazon). You'll get a WAY better workout, and you won't waste money on gas or waste time going back and forth. If you're focused on distance running, you don't need a gym for that. Imagine how much you could avoid wasting on a fancy gym in DC?

  20. BRO

    You spend less than you earn! Awesome!

    Having taken my own personal journey to being debt free, and now active with building up savings and investments every month, achieving that monthly spend-less-than-you earn skill (no matter the route) is biggest key IMHO. With that positive cash flow, you can experiment with different wealth building strategies that suit you, but as long as you spend less than you earn, you're healthy.

    On that thought of increasing monthly positive cash flow, I would suggest wiping down the long-term debt as fast as you can. You want to build savings for a high interest account, but the debt interest surely would have a negative net effect on that (and even to the point of justifying maintaining for the 10yr write-off, I still favour having that extra every month to make work for me at my discretion).

    I'm married. This works for us. We are worker bees bringing the honey back to the hive (the sales reps bringing our revenue to the company). We combine into one pot and together administrate the monthly home expenses (obligations and fun money), savings (for emergencies we can't see and future big expenses we see coming up) and investments. If there is any left over, we take salaries (allowances) from that into separate accounts. That allowance we can spend, save, do whatever we want with it, no questions asked.

    Last arb notes:
    – I budget with YNAB – best I've tried that suits me.
    – I highly recommend Index/Exchange Traded Fund portfolios (young can afford a mix of local stock index, international stock index and property index).
    – I support 3-6 months of living expenses for the emergency fund (budget should tell you what a single month's living expenses are). I'm on 4 months at the moment and building.

    All the best.

  21. Drew

    How has no one else noticed that she still has 3 weeks to go!

    Started Day 1 Week 1: $1,650 in bank account. She paid all her big monthly expenses and one week later she has:

    Day 1 Week 2: $1,248.70 in bank account plus $1,000 in savings.

    If she wants to start the next month with $1,650 in her bank account and keep the $1,000 in savings that leaves her with NEGATIVE $400 to stay alive for the next three weeks!

    Just to stay in the black for the month and put nothing in savings at all she has to hold her spending for the next three weeks to $598.7 which is maaaybe doable for a 20 something. However she is definitely not saving any significant money this month.

  22. kevin

    We have to learn how to stop our poor spending habits: https://monthlybudgettemplate.org/3-signs-that-you-have-poor-spending-habits-and-what-to-do-about/

  23. Jonathan

    This is really painful to read. I have well over twice that amount in student loans and I'm making 1400$ a month, yet the author is making 41k$ a year and is breaking down when thinking about a 35k$ loan while having half that amount in savings? How can you spend over 2% of the amount of your loans yearly in tatoos if thinking about your loans breaks you down? How can you be travelling?

    It's difficult to see that someone is whining so much when her situation is definitely alright, especially given the choice of deliberately choosing a career path that doesn't pay well. The author got on purpose a job that doesn't pay much, is in a situation that is totally manageable short-term and long term, and the dairy oozes self-pity.

    Best regards,

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