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Meet my mentor, Jay Abraham

I met Jay Abraham years ago and have learned a lot. Today, I’m sharing Jay’s lessons and the way you can find your own mentor.

Ramit Sethi

Jay Abraham likes to say, “you are surrounded by simple, obvious solutions that can dramatically increase your income, power, influence, and success. The problem is, you just don’t see them.”

He’s right — the right choice in life isn’t always clear.

And it’s no fault of anyone. After all, we all have a HUGE amount of choice when it comes to our decisions.

  • Should you choose the well-paying job with the Fortune 100 company…or work for that start-up that might not be around in 18 months?
  • Should you buy that online course that can help further your career?
  • Should you move to a bigger city where you don’t know anyone or stay where you are, where you have some contacts and friends already?

Though the variety of choices might seem good — after all, you have more to choose from — it can actually hinder your ability to make a decision.

To overcome this “paradox of choice,” you simply need to find someone who’s been there already: a mentor.

This person will be there to help you through the tough decisions and guide you on the path to success.

Today, I want to introduce you to one of my most influential mentors: Jay Abraham.

Who’s Jay Abraham?

Years ago, I bought a book called Getting Everything You Can Out of All You’ve Got that opened my eyes to Jay’s philosophy on wealth-creation through proven systems.

(Anyone who knows IWT knows that we’re all about systems, so it’s easy to see why I loved the book so much.)

With a career spanning decades, Jay has dedicated his life to helping businesses increase their bottom line through a system of uncovering hidden assets and overlooked opportunities.

In all, he has helped over 10,000 clients find success in their industries, and he continues to provide direct-response marketing consulting to businesses through his company, The Abraham Group.

Why I paid more than $25,000 to meet Jay

After reading his book, I heard he was launching a program for small-business owners. So I applied, and after he checked my references and read my application, he offered me a spot.

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Having dinner with my mentor, Jay Abraham.

The program was ~$25,000. And I also had to fly from NYC to LA every month for 15 months just to get 45 minutes of his time.

And I would do it again — for TEN TIMES the price.

That’s because over the years, Jay’s insight and guidance changed my life. He’s helped me:

  • Make over $100,000 in a single month
  • Double my business in one year
  • Radically change my personal life over the course of a few months, based on his advice

When all was said and done, the price became a non-issue because of what I gained.

Have you ever joined something (or even bought something) that was so good, price became a mere triviality?

Maybe you joined a soccer league where you made 5 new friends.

Maybe you took an improv class that made you more confident.

Or maybe you just bought an amazing leather jacket that fits you like a glove.

When moments like this happen, you realize that for the right experience money doesn’t matter.

It’s so rare that we get the chance to surround ourselves with someone who can make such a big impact. When was the last time someone gave you advice that actually changed your life — and will keep impacting you for the next 40 years?

What I learned from my mentor

Along with 20 other small-business owners, I joined Jay once a month for 15 months. And I got the chance to learn why people flew from around the world to find a community of other people who want to improve themselves.

I think every one of us feels stagnant in a certain part of life. It could be your fitness, or your clothes, or your finances, or your job. Whatever it is, if we could find a group of people who have EXACTLY the same goals, can hold us accountable, and will challenge us to do more…we’d join it in a heartbeat.

As entrepreneurs, we’re WILLING to put in the time and work twice as hard as other people. We just want to know that it will pay off.

So what do you do when you have the ambition and the drive and you want MORE (not to listen to horrible advice about cutting back on every joy in life and waiting until you’re 65 to take a vacation)?

Answer: You find someone who’s done it and learn from them by scraping every piece of meat off the bone that they have to offer.

So how did I double my business? I learned many valuable strategies and tactics from Jay, but the most important things weren’t “secrets.” Instead, the real keys to growth that Jay opened up for me were:

  • Having a friendly but firm leader who was there to support me — but call me out when I wasn’t living up to my own standards. (When was the last time you had someone like this for you?)
  • A supportive community. How many of us have friends who challenge us to be better?
  • Being held accountable. Each month, I’d have to report what I committed to the previous month, what I accomplished, and sometimes explain why I DIDN’T do what I said I would do — in front of everyone.

That’s why I’m so excited to share with you an excerpt of a discussion I had with Jay a while back.

I think you’ll be blown away by the insights.

How to find your own Jay Abraham

Your mentor doesn’t have to be some all-knowing guru who lives on top of a mountain — and you DEFINITELY don’t have to pay $25,000 to get one.

It can be someone as close to you already as a friend or family member — you can even find a mentor in someone you NEVER meet face-to-face through books or blogs you read:

  • Do you want to start getting fit? Maybe you have a buddy who always goes to the gym and runs marathons
  • Do you want to ace that class next semester? Talk to the professor and schedule office hours to discuss the material
  • Do you want to start a new business? Start by taking a course and reading a few good books on the topic

If you find someone you really admire and believe can help you on your journey to success, reach out to them.

“But Ramit, what if I don’t know this person? Won’t I look like a creep asking them to be my mentor?”

As a person who receives THOUSANDS of emails each day, I can say without hesitation that there is an artform to crafting a message that’ll pique my attention and won’t alienate me.

Luckily, I’m going to tell you the 3 steps to an email sure to get your mentor’s attention.

Step 1: Focus on them

The person you’re trying to reach is probably very busy — that’s why you need to give them a reason to open the email. To this end, you need to make sure your subject line is engaging and your opening pulls them in.

Check out the opening of this email I got from one of my readers — it’s one of my favorites!

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That’s probably my favorite subject line of all time. “I want to work for you for free.” That would be music to anyone’s ears.

But, do you see what he did? Not only did he give me a genuine compliment but told me about the results my work had on him. I LOVE it.

Step 2: Make them care

You need to establish rapport as quickly as possible. If you can, name drop someone you have in common with them. In most cases though, you’ll need to establish common ground another way.

For this email, my reader already knew I was looking for talented developers — so he told me who he is and why I should care.

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This means you’re going to have to do your homework. He knew from reading my site and my job postings that I was looking for a new developer, and he knew I liked to work fast and iterate quickly — all things he addressed in his email right away.

Get inside your mentor’s head. What can you do for them that’ll make their lives easier?

Step 3: Make saying “yes” easy

You’ll want to anticipate and confront any doubts your mentor might have in receiving your email.

This means proactively asking to set up a meeting or a Skype call. Be sure to make clear that you’ll rearrange your schedule for the conversation — any time works for you. After all, you’re asking for their help — not the other way around.

Check out what my reader did. He knew I had a few projects I wanted to do — but hadn’t made the time for them yet.

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By leveraging my need for a solid web developer and coupling that with the rapport he built, the reader was able to put me in a prime position to say “yes.”

Be sure to acknowledge the value of their time by ending your email with this script:

“I understand you have tremendous demands on your time, and if you don’t have time to respond, no problem. But if you do, even a sentence would mean a lot to me.”

This gives them an easy out if they’re too busy while also boosting your response rate by showing how empathetic you are.

Before doing this, you should have crystal clear expectations for what a mentor will provide for you. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

  • Don’t focus on getting paid. You want to optimize for learning, and make sure that the mentor knows this. If they offer to pay you for work, that’s fine, but certainly don’t ask for this up front.
  • NEVER ask a mentor a question Google can easily answer for you. Do your homework before you ask busy people for answers. If Google could provide the answer in 20 seconds, don’t waste your mentor’s time. You want them to help you solve complex and really meaningful problems in your life instead.
  • Put in the work up front. I always say that if you put in 10x the work, that leads to 1000x the results. So don’t slack or half-ass your way through assignments or projects. Focus on becoming world class and absorbing all the knowledge you can from them.
  • If you feel like you’re not getting a valuable experience, don’t feel like you have to keep the relationship going. Don’t just disappear and not return their calls and emails. But certainly don’t waste either of your valuable time. Communicate your feelings and move on.

Beyond mentorship

My mentors have helped me make (and save) millions of dollars over the years. But they’ve also taught me more about success — and what it looks like — than I could have ever figured out on my own.

I can’t put a price on that.

To be a top performer, you need to be willing to ask for help when you need it while also building a system of habits that allows you to succeed.

After all, successful people don’t just catch a lucky break and coast — they systematically identify and integrate winning habits into their lives, day in and day out, for years.

That’s why my team and I created the Ultimate Guide to Habits. In it you’ll learn:

  • How to set goals — the RIGHT way. Most people don’t know how to set good goals. They just think of something they want and then start “trying” to make it happen. When they don’t get what they want, they’re left wondering what went wrong. I’ll teach you the best way to set and reach your goals.
  • Creating a functional habit loop. Have you ever wondered why it’s so tough to make little changes in your life? And why some people seem to be able to do it with ease? I’ll teach you a simple system that makes forming and keeping new habits effortless.
  • How to make any habit last forever. Most are often left wondering, “Why did I lose my motivation?” I’ll teach you why relying on motivation is a loser’s game — and what to do if you ever get off track.

Imagine 30 days from today, jumping out of bed early with tons of energy. You actually LOOK FORWARD to the day — no more feeling frazzled — because of the new “peak performance” tools you’re using now.

Maybe you want to start eating healthier, or cook a meal once a week. Maybe you want to start a business, or even just read one book a month.

No problem. Start small. Pick 1 or 2 things to use these powerful techniques on, and watch what happens.

Just sign up below and I’ll send you a free copy of the Ultimate Guide to Habits right away.

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