How I helped a friend find her Dream Job…TWICE

Ramit Sethi

Good lord, it seems like Dream Job stuff is really hitting a nerve. Thanks for the hundreds of people who submitted a questions on Monday’s post. I responded to a bunch of people, and I’ve also been emailing as many of the commenters as I can, but I can’t respond to everyone, as I have a busy life eating chicken wings and challenging my friends to drinking contests.

So, if you didn’t see my video on “Ramit’s 80/20 Guide to Finding a Dream Job,” I put together a special presentation for you — now with hundreds of comments. You can opt-in to see the video here.

Heh, and this week, while I was eating chicken and sending out tons of emails to people about their jobs questions, it made me think about a friend of mine who I helped find to find her Dream Job.

It’s actually a funny story, since she found her Dream Job TWICE.

So this girl had gone to grad school, but midway through, she realized she hated it (and had already racked up thousands of dollars in debt). We used to g-chat a lot during the day (for her, this was during classes where she was dreadfully bored), so she asked me to help her figure out what to do.

She didn’t think there was anything else she could do, and she had no ideas about what her Dream Job would look like. “Uh, of course you don’t know what else you would do,” I told her. “You’ve never done any real research!”

She agreed to follow my advice. And since she was a friend, I told her I’d of course help her…but she HAD TO: (1) do what I said, no arguments, and (2) agree to document every step of the process. “Otherwise you can figure this out on your own,” I told her.

She told me she would do whatever it took. With a gleam in my eye, I realized it was a good thing this girl and I were only platonic friends, or god knows what kind of depravity would have occurred.

Anyway, over the next few months, I helped her…

  • Recognize, manage, and conquer her “Invisible Scripts” that were holding her back (examples: “I don’t have any skills that people would hire me for” + “I don’t know what my Dream Job would really be…”)
  • Create a TESTING METHODOLOGY to find out exactly what she was interested in, rather than waiting to “find her passion”
  • Taught her exactly how to use “networking” productively — including what specific questions to ask — to drive her job hunt
  • Gave her the best reading materials, and showed her which stupid career advice to avoid
  • Focused her time on the right things, instead of pointlessly updating her resume or firing it off into “Black Hole Hell”

Within months, she found a job at a top financial firm you’ve all heard about.

A few years later, she’d mastered the job and decided to make a move out of finance and into another industry (this is typical of top performers). So she came back to me to do it again.

We got back to work — same agreement, do what I say, let’s test it, take notes, and I will help you find your next Dream Job.

This time, I helped her find and negotiate a job in a top technology company.

Here’s the funny thing. She now makes multiple six figures a year (read that again…not a typo)…back from when she was a bitter grad student doing something she hated, with no idea about what she could possibly do.

She’s in her 20s.

Besides me being THRILLED for her that she’s maximizing her potential, the best part is that she (1) followed what I said, and (2) documented every step of it.

But my friend made me realize that some of my biggest wins have come from helping people 1-on-1.

Obviously, I want to share as much of my material with you as possible. For example, in that 46-minute video, I made it available to you free, because I want to help you find your Dream Job without barriers. And my entire blog and business is about helping as many of the right people as possible.

Unfortunately, I’m kinda stuck. I can’t help everyone — I don’t have the time or resources to do that. But if I could pick people who have a GOOD CHANCE of being successful, and help them get from an “A” to an “A+,” it would be well worth my time.

For example, my friend swore she would follow every step I said — and she did (or I would have killed her). Even when I pushed her out of her comfort zone, she trusted me enough to follow my system. And as a result, she found two incredible Dream Jobs.

On the other hand, when I deal with people who won’t follow my instructions, or expect everything for free, I get really jaded and don’t want to work with them at all.

So, question for you:

How many of you are there who would be interested in something more personal, like 1-on-1 coaching?

Would it be worth it to do in some form?

I’m not sure what approach to take here — I want to help as many of you as possible, and since my goal has always been to be the “Voice of 10,000” (and recently the “Voice of 1 Million,” I’m not sure what this would look like.

But I also know that my best results come from working 1-on-1 with people who are serious about making a change.

Not only can I usually get my friends pretty good results (e.g., my friends average $10,000 in a salary increase after working with me), but I can turn around and share what I did to all of you guys.

Here’s the thing: Realistically, it’s tough to do 1-on-1 for more than a few people, plus I rarely do consulting.

So, if you ARE interested in some form of 1-on-1 interaction, email me and tell me why you’d want this. What would it mean to you? How would you use it to find your Dream Job? How can you guarantee that you’d follow through?

Email me directly: Use “I’m interested in 1-on-1 coaching” as your email subject line so I don’t miss your email.

I’ll let you know in a day or two what I find out. Right now, I have no idea.

Do you know your actual earning potential?

Get started with the Earning Potential quiz. Get a custom report based on your unique strengths, and discover how to start making extra money — in as little as an hour.

Start The Quiz

Takes 3 min


  1. Jesus Sombrero

    Dude, I’m unsubscribing from your feed, Ramit.

    It’s frustrating because you’ve almost convinced me you have a lot to offer, but I can’t put up with this any more: Every other post and email is like “I have these wonderful, amazing techniques that I’ve used to turn twenty-something high-achievers into even more high-achieving high-achievers… but you can’t have them.” That 46-minute video was just more of the same empty calories.

    Now, maybe you think that’s good marketing. What do I know? I’m an anonymous internet schmoe. But it’s frustrating, man. Either give me something to buy, or just… shut up. You do way too much voodoo marketing, social-influence stuff, yet have no new, interesting products. What is the point? Did you ever consider that, after a certain point, you’re just frustrating honest, decent, hard-working people that just want to give you their money?

    Peace out

    • Nick Fox

      If you want to give him money so badly, why didn’t you? I’m sure he wouldn’t turn it away…unless you have credit card debt.

      The very fact that you have this very big desire to buy though says that on a certain level, Ramit’s “voodoo marketing, social-influence stuff” is working on you. Otherwise, you would be watching funny videos of cats on YouTube right now.

      Did you even take the time to email him about 1-on-1 coaching or subscribe to any of his lists? If you were really interested in changing your life, those are two low risk steps you can take in order to work towards giving Ramit your money. If you haven’t even taken those two small steps, what are you complaining about?

    • Paris Hunter

      So this a “SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY” meme? I like that meme.

      The question is will you use the information if you buy or will it sit on your hard drive in a folder? You don’t have to BUY information to be forced to USE it. He give you free information that you can act on right now.

  2. Jen

    I actually found the 46-minute video very helpful, so I’m going to have to disagree with the first poster. Maybe the advice is subtle, but after watching a series of free “dream job” videos, I can say that Ramit’s video not only covered more ground, but was much more actionable. It definitely got me on track. You get what you get out of it, I guess. *shrugs*

  3. Andy

    Great post with a hardcore call to action. And the results? 2 comments, one a complaint.

    My guess would be a very small handful of people actually Wrote to Ramit asking to do 1-on-1. I would also guess that Jesus Sombrero isn’t one of them.

    • Adrien

      As the call to action is mainly invisible to us (ie send an email), I am not surprised of the small amount of comments. Also, I would not be surprised if his inbox is actually flooded. The previous post and the video both have hundreds of replys! Seeing the comments though, the challenge will be to isolate the emails that state anything more that excitement and how everyone is dying to hear never-before-seen-tactics and sure-fire-templates that will magically receive job offers without having to do too much work… but maybe I’m wrong. I hope I am and that lots of emails will be highly specific. Also, maybe I’m wrong and you’re right and Ramit will have an easier job finding proteges with whom to work.
      I am quite interested as of whether, the upcoming weeks will see a momentum towards action resulting in many finding their dream job. Even if Ramit ends up doing 1-on-1, I am sure that everyone will benefit from the posts to come.

  4. David

    I think Ramit’s last 46-minute video presentation had a lot to offer. Personally, I realized how important the approach is to finding a dream job. Like everything else in life, the way you deliver something is as important as the content that is being delivered.

    Please ignore the nonconstructive noises among the internet community and continue to share your wonderful insights on social behaviors, psychology, and job searching.

  5. John

    Ramit, it’s nice to see you post some introspective thoughts to the blog. I read your book and got hooked on the blog, but I grew a little disillusioned. As you tried to scale the business, you made a series of appeals that sounded increasingly huckster-ish over time–Scrooge Strategy, Earn $1K, etc. At a certain point, charging money to large groups of people to help them earn more money is not much different than selling fitness DVDs to couch potatoes. I admire your idea of paring down the customer list down to clients who will actually do the work. You might earn less money (gasp!) :), but I think you’ll find yourself more fulfilled. Best of luck!

  6. Arthur


    Can’t wait for the rest of the Dream Job material to come out. Listened to the 46 minute video on my iPod 5 times already and got something different out of it each time. I will use your instructions because you’ve proven to me that they can work if we take action. Got a lot out of the free series on Hustling. I’ve taken plenty of action building my skill set and meeting people in the field I want to get into. The results have been great so far. Doing some volunteer work that is very rewarding and is getting me closer to the job I want.

    Thanks for providing us with all this free material. It’s really life changing once we apply it.

  7. fern

    Ramit’s stuff is nothing new for me. I guess for the younger crowd they may have never heard it before, but I have. While I was watching the 46 min video I was nodding my head because he was describing what I have done in the past to get my jobs. I thought everyone knew that you don’t apply to job ads. By the time they post the ad, it’s game over. You get in before that, etc, etc, everything he put in his presentation. Great. However, I’m looking for more. The only thing new that I’m getting here is his repackaging/attitude. The same thing with the money course. I imagine I’m going to get stoned for posting this, but I just had to finally “say” it.

    It also seems that it only for folks that already have cushy jobs. I want to see Ramit work with some one down and out and see if these concepts work with those folks also. What about folks who don’t have their BA/BS? What about the poor soul who’s an office clerk with not college? I want to see the transformation of those types of folks.

  8. Joel Murphy

    I didn’t go to one second of college and barely graduated high school. Ramit’s book, emails, blog posts and especially the Earn 1K course have helped me a great deal. I make more money than I ever have and I actually have a good savings. It’s also allowed me to offer quality advice on these subjects to my family and to some of my friends.

    If I have kids one day I’d MUCH rather them take Earn1K than immediately go to college after high school.

    All you naysayers can say whatever you want. This shit works. It works for anybody.

  9. How I helped a friend find her Dream Job…TWICE | Find Friends

    […] is the original post: How I helped a friend find her Dream Job…TWICE Categories: Uncategorized Click here to cancel reply. Name […]

  10. Jonathan Bechtel

    I personally don’t care for 1 on 1 coaching. I’d guess there’s a certain selection effect for these types of offers, and they appeal most to people who are terrified of rejection and uncertainty. People with those personality types are difficult to mold. Go getters recognize good advice, and then take initiative and learn by doing.

    As to the meat of your post, I’d say the tenets of high achievement are kind of clear:

    Act on what you need, not on what you fear
    Don’t confuse intentions with results
    Focus is more important than hours worked (but the two can co-incide)
    Execution is just as important as a good idea
    Always be critical of your own assumptions

    Most case studies given on life-hacking blogs are round-about examples of these 5 points I think.

  11. Friday Roundup: How to Grocery Shop for Five on $100 a Week | Credit Karma Blog

    […] How I helped a friend find her Dream Job…TWICE “So this girl had gone to grad school, but midway through, she realized she hated it (and had already racked up thousands of dollars in debt). We used to g-chat a lot during the day (for her, this was during classes where she was dreadfully bored), so she asked me to help her figure out what to do. She didn’t think there was anything else she could do, and she had no ideas about what her Dream Job would look like. ‘Uh, of course you don’t know what else you would do,’ I told her. ‘You’ve never done any real research!’” I Will Teach You To Be Rich […]