Ultimate Guide to Social Skills — Part 4

Overcoming Shyness & Building Confidence


We all feel awkward and unsure at times.

Just think back to your first day of high school or at your job. Did you feel vulnerable? Were you unsure what to say or how to connect with other people?

While that's a common feeling, what if you could go into new situations without feeling that way ever again? Imagine if you always felt confident and natural when you tried new things or met new people.

You actually can! Like any other skill, confidence is something that can be improved -- and even mastered -- over time.

Below are two of my favorite techniques to boost your confidence in any situation.

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Confidence Technique #1

The Invisibility Cloak Technique


Here is a simple but effective way to cover up your fears and anxieties when entering an uncomfortable situation.

It goes like this: whenever you’re in a social situation, imagine you’re wearing a cloak that makes you invisible or covers up certain parts of you.

The Invisibility Cloak Technique

Now, it’d be weird if you walked around with a crazy Halloween mask or cape on and went into a Starbucks saying “Greetings, how’s your day?”

Not going to go well.

But what if, mentally, you can apply this same tactic? If I go to a conference, I’ll put on my Invisibility Cloak which allows me to feel confident and say, “Who am I going to be today? What is my behavior going to reflect?”

If I want to be a gregarious, friendly, outgoing guy, I’m not changing who I am on the inside to be inauthentic. I’m just changing my behavior on the outside.

What you'll find is that over time, your attitude will change to match your behavior.

Confidence Technique #2

Make confidence building a game


Here are two fun ways you can build up your confidence: the 60 Seconds Game and the Compliments game.

Two fun ways to build up your confidence |
Confidence hacks: within 60 seconds of walking into an event, go up to someone and introduce yourself.
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The key to lasting confidence

How to eliminate shyness for good


Many shy people can use the tactics above to boost their confidence for a little while but find themselves slipping back into their timid habits.

Luckily, overcoming shyness is easier than you’d expect. In fact, it just takes a subtle mental shift to rid yourself of this pesky emotion for good.

In the video below, I’ll show you a simple technique you can use to stop feeling shy today.

More specifically:

  • Watch as I shed some light on shyness, and how shy people think and behave the way they do (1:03)
  • One way to change the way you think about shyness. (1:29)
  • One technique to help you become less shy and more confident in your social interactions. (2:45)

Remember: Confidence is a skill


You’ll become more natural by practicing. To make practicing easier, I have some word-for-word scripts that will help you have easy, natural conversations with anybody.

Download the 'Start Conversations With Anybody' guide

Learn how to boost your confidence and start a conversation with anybody in this free guide

Overcoming Shyness & Building Confidence | Ultimate Guide to Social Skills – Part 4