Maybe you’ve done something like offered a drink to a recovering alcoholic at a bar? (Yes, I actually did this.) Or told a joke that completely bombed? Or maybe you’ve tried to start up a conversation...only to have it die out a few moments later?
If any of these sound familiar to you, then you know the importance of social skills.
But these examples only scratch the surface.
The true cost of not having this skill goes much deeper than just feeling uncomfortable or embarrassed from time to time.
Here’s an example: One of my friends runs a successful tech business and was considering acquiring a small, 1-man company.
After a night of drinking, he asked me what I thought of the guy behind the 1-man company. As a friend, I told him the brutal truth: the guy was way too cocky for his experience, I wouldn’t want him on my team, and I told him exactly why.
Your boss looks at his boss and, at review time, they both agree some people just aren’t management material. Or they're not ready for the best projects.
If you can’t deal with people the right way, opportunities will keep passing you by. Are they passing you by?
Isn’t it fascinating how they always have fun, amusing stories to tell?
While it seems like these stories unfold off-the-cuff, they’re actually tested, refined, and practiced for months in advance. In fact, these stories often go through many iterations before they’re ever ready to be told in front of an audience.
Yes, improving what you say and how you interact with others will take some practice. And yes, it can feel a little weird to work on this. But every highly socially skilled person works on this -- even if they’re just practicing in ordinary conversations day-to-day.
A lot of us go through life like this. We have little idiosyncrasies that turn people off or keep us from making a good impression. Most of us never learn what they are, but once we’re aware of them, our lives can change dramatically.
Here’s an example: back in high school I applied to dozens of scholarships.
Even though I was a great candidate on paper, I could never get past the interviews. I never understood why until I videotaped myself giving a mock interview. When I watched the tape, I realized I never smiled!
I thought I was coming across as a fun, gregarious guy, but watching that tape I looked like a dull, humorless robot.
That was a crucial piece of feedback that I was missing -- and no one in the interviews told me about. Instead, opportunities just kept passing right by me, and I didn’t know why.
Of course, there are other ways to get feedback besides taping yourself, but the rewards can be just as profound.
Take a look at my friend, Michael Ellsberg, as an example. He’s someone who went from being a total loser in high school to becoming a successful writer, speaker, and author of The Education of Millionaires.
In this interview, which you cannot find anywhere else, you’ll learn:
Feedback from others gives us hidden insights we never would’ve noticed on our own. And it’s one of the secrets behind any socially skilled person’s success. But let’s be honest, asking for feedback out of the blue can feel a little weird and intimidating.
That’s why I’m giving you access to an exclusive video with one of my expert friends, Pam Slim. She’s an author, business coach, writer, and speaker.
In the video below, she teaches you how to gracefully solicit and respond to even the toughest feedback from others.
Just tell me where to send it.