Who controls the money in your relationship?
May 25th, 2012 - 169 Comments
Indian culture is patriarchal in most ways. Yet interestingly, women control the money. Men come home from work and hand their paychecks to the mother of the house. And since multiple generations usually live in one house, the mother has impressive power and collects multiple paychecks, doling out money where appropriate.
That’s why I love this email I received from IWT reader Maria B.:
As I was reading the Money Diaries, I noticed that in those authored by men in relationships, the women seemed to be in charge of the budget (even when money seemed to be a point of tension).
I know that this is the case in my family (my mother, my sister and I are all in charge of our respective family budgets), as well as with several of my friends (not supposition – I’ve seen the spreadsheets).
I admit that my sample is limited (and biased), but I am curious how this affects the highly-gendered anxiety/confidence levels that you reported in your email earlier this week. How much anxiety is a result of knowing the actual numbers (i.e. creating the budget and tracking spending) vs. trusting that everything is being taken care of. I am also quite curious about finances in relationships – how is money handled, how perceptions shift, how to keep everyone on the same page, etc. I am doubt that there is a simple answer, but it would be interesting to study.
What do you think?
If you’re MARRIED, who handles the money — day-to-day finances and large purchases/investments?
If you’re UNMARRIED, how did your parents handle it? What worked and didn’t work?
Leave your comments below. As usual, I read every one.
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