Years ago, I heard an amazing concept called “The Kiss Test” from Eben Pagan.
The concept is for men who are interested in dating: “How do I know if I should kiss her?”
Most guys are looking for a secret trick — her eyes dilating, when she flips her hair, etc.
Eben’s point is: She already decided LONG AGO. It’s about your confidence, how you talk, your jokes, your clothes…everything.
Guys want to focus on the specific moment — the SYMPTOM.
But the real situation is about the CONTEXT — and the key decision was usually made long before the critical moment.
I think this is true of lots of things in life.
- You worry about the math test…but the real work was done weeks ago, as you practiced with the homework week in and week out.
- You’re worried about your new product launch, but the real work was done months ago when you did user research. (Click here if you’re interested in seeing how this applies to growing your business.)
- You’re worried about your bratty 9-year-old son, but the real work was done at age 3 when you gave him anything he wanted — chicken nuggets, an iPad, chocolate — so he’d stop crying.
I thought of this when a friend saw a new coat I bought — an expensive one — and asked, “Are you ever worried about how much it costs?”
No — hell no. I set my life up so I wouldn’t have to worry about micro-decisions like this. I don’t want to live a life where I’m walking around worried about random decisions like taking a taxi vs. the subway. That’s my ultimate hell. If I walk into someplace and worry about spending too much on a coat or a meal, I’ve taken a wrong turn long, long ago.
I also hate the concept of “worrying” about money. Why do we do this? Is worry really a productive emotion?
NO! So let’s stop worrying and instead change it. You can automate your money in a couple weeks. Do it and stop worrying for the rest of your life.