I guess the only other response I have is to the person who suggested holding out for a bigger diamond – as insurance. It’s obvious to me that you’ve never bought, owned or tried to sell diamonds. They are not the hot commodity they once were. I am the proud owner of a $10k (yes, appraised) hunk of a rock that I cannot sell (we’re divorced and I’d rather use the cash towards our kids’ college savings plans.) Diamond jewelry is desperately over-inflated and you will never be able to get a decent return from an estate piece (which is what ‘used’ jewelry is romanticized as.) I guess there are exceptions – but if you or he pays full retail for a diamond, you’ve already been had. Don’t count it as an asset. Don’t start sewing pockets into your dresses for when you steal away in the night… you’ll be stuck with saggy hemlines.

I find the plethora of “postpone the wedding several years” comments to be more than a tad annoying. I’m young myself, but I know many couples who married “too early” and are doing about as well as any other married couple.

I will say that this sort of relationship-impatience (I loathe to use the phrase “rush to the altar”) is characteristic of new relationships. If you mesh well together, that will fade away and simply being next to each other is more than enough. That’s about the time when the prospect of marriage takes on a new, intriguing patina.

Taking legal responsibility for someone else’s debt is just never a good idea, no matter who they are or how much you may love them. This alone is reason enough for me to agree with the suggestion to hold off on signing the nuptial papers until you are both 110% certain of where each of you stands financially, and where you stand as a single unit.

Whether that takes two weeks or two years just depends on the two of you.

I’m glad you posted the update. Sounds like things are going alot better than they had when you posted the original diary entry. I am happy to hear that T got a job, your eloping was ok with your families and you are discussing how to handle his debt together. Now that you both have jobs I think it will be much easier and less stressful on the money side of things. Sounds like you are back on track

Then he met me and that changed.

If he continued with his culinary degree (which would be another two years) it would cost infinitely a lot more money (culinary school runs about $30,000 per year for tuition ALONE) and he would have ended up with a similar job situation that he is in right now. He is well respected and liked at his restaurant, and is in charge of the food. (It’s a gourmet restaurant to boot)

But now that we are married, long term, he would like to eventually go back to school (at a much cheaper state school) for possibly business or real estate.