Ramit’s amazing advice on a happy relationship

Ramit Sethi

Today, we get to enjoy 2 things: Ramit’s amazing advice on a happy relationship, and the fact that I started a business where I can write a blog post calling my own advice “amazing” and send it to millions of monthly readers.

I want to share something I learned from my parents about love.

See, Indian parents aren’t into PDAs. They don’t make out with each other in public or do big romantic gestures. But my parents show their love in their own way. Every day, when my dad comes home from work, my mom leaves the door unlocked (so he doesn’t have to fumble for his keys) and she has chai waiting. And they sit and have a snack together. That’s love.

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I shared this story with a coworker who was having problems in his relationship. Look what he wrote me:


Why am I sending you this?

Guys, a Rich Life isn’t just about earning more and more money. It’s about using all the material we teach — focusing on the Big Wins, spending extravagantly on the things you love, and choosing what a Rich Life means to you — to focus on the things that really matter. Anyone can talk about making more money or selling some ebook. But those are just short-term things.

A really Rich Life is about way, way more than how many dollars are in your bank account. One of my goals is to continue showing you how to decide what a Rich Life is to you — and then get it.

Happy Monday. As always, thank you for reading.

P.S. If you have an unusual example of a Rich Life, just comment below — I read every response.

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  1. Tor Refsland

    Great point, Ramit.

    I really like this part: “A really Rich Life is about way, way more than how many dollars are in your bank account. One of my goals is to continue showing you how to decide what a Rich Life is to you — and then get it.”

    Here´s my unusual example of a Rich Life:

    I used to be a high achiever measuring success in form of money and material rewards. Yeah I know, young and stupid.

    Then I traveled to Guatemala to help building bottle schools (schools made of empty bottles filled with sand) for the children.

    What amazed me was that despite that the children didn´t own anything and many of them didn´t have both their parents, they were so happy and friendly.

    That changed everything for me.

    It was then I realized that true success is all about being happy, showing people that you care and helping people to change their lives.

    When I started to focus on delivering awesome value and help people, my business skyrocketed.

    As Zig Ziglar said: “When you help enough people to get what they want, you will finally get what you want”.

    Keep rocking,


  2. v

    To be able to reach your full potential, n fully enjoy each moment of your life; that’s what rich life consists of. This journey has to be memorable.

  3. Jenny @ SelfThrive

    Your parents seem to have set an incredible example for you! I love the whole idea of doing little things, though I never considered how big a difference it could make to do something as simple as greeting someone at the door. When my fiancé comes in I’m usually on the couch, but I think I’ll try to make it more of a habit to be at the door when he gets to my house. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it!

  4. Jessica Nazarali

    Great post!

  5. Anna Michelle Richards

    You just taught me something! Often it feels as though you’re shouting at me but not this time. You’re right, it is the little things that count, I’ve always been the over the top huge gesture type but I think that’s because I didn’t know what love was. I can feel a song coming on so before that happens I’ll just say thank you Ramit (and also on behalf of my husband). You’re amazing.
    – Anna

  6. Ashley Gainer

    Thanks for sharing this. I’ve just realized that this is what my husband has been asking me to do, but I didn’t really get the importance of it until now.

    Here’s my unusual Rich Life example: I was jobless and 8 months pregnant when my then-husband and I separated. I’d planned to be a stay-at-home mom and decided I would still be a stay-at-home mom, making money from home as a freelance writer and editor. We were far from rich by U.S. standards (in fact, for most of the time I was a single mom, we were at or below the poverty line) BUT both our lives were thoroughly enriched by all that time we had together. I would — and did, and still do — take being primary caregiver to my son over “wants” or “luxuries” any and every day.

  7. Doug

    I love this post. I try to make a habit of doing little things to show my wife how much I love and appreciate her, because I think the little things adding up over time make a much bigger impression than the big things that happen once in awhile (or when expected, such as on Valentine’s Day). Thanks for the reminder!

  8. No Nonsense Landlord

    It really is the small things that count. Even successful business relationships only take a small bit of effort to make them long lasting.

  9. Amita

    I think, I hope, there is an aspect of everyone’s life which represents a rich life. The richness in my life derives from my yoga practice and transmitting my knowledge and that of my Guru’s to others. The ability to assist others to improve their physical,emotional and mental health gives my life meaning. My life is enriched from serving others.

  10. Liz

    Hi, Ramit–
    As someone who is going through the ending of a 25 year plus marriage, I read your post on your parents, and I agree with kindness and thoughtfulness as cornerstones of a long happy marriage. When day to day kindnesses go away, then it becomes easy to simply become cold and civil (“for the kids” – haha, as if the kids enjoy this type of living)…. long term relationships are like anything else of value– they require lots of patience, work, selfless attention, and courage… Keep working, people! Take it from someone who’s loved-and-lost– xoxo. Love to everyone

  11. Catharina

    Thank you Ramit, you have reminded me to be mindful! My husband and I do this for each other, and taught our our Children too. It is lovely and whilst I appreciate it, I know I also take it a *bit* (lot) for granted and will be active in my intentions and recognition of each person this week and see how the new dynamics change our relationships.

    My rich life…My heart jumps when my boys tell me how much they love me and thank me for little tasks like ironing their school uniform, or straightening up their bed. When this happens I feel humbled that somehow through the wrestling, arguments, teasing backchat and attitude trying it on…. That I do actually have beautiful boys which I’m raising to be honourable men and to keep going.

    Happy St. Valentine’s Day Ramit
    May you be surrounded with people who you love and see your Light shine from your soul x

  12. Steve from Arkansas

    Hey, I love your work Ramit. I’m just retired 60 year old financially independent former oil executive and currently independent lobbyist and consultant. Prior to retiring, while in my study phase, I started reading and listening to the best people I could find on podcasts and blogs and of course you were an early and often presence. Thanks for what you do to help the younger people, but you also have an older audience who are not at all too proud to take sound advice from a young man with an old soul. You go brother. Steve from Arkansas

  13. sweetschoice

    hahaha….really nice…love is the name of care and will increase day by day if you show it in you daily work……..feeling good to read your story….

  14. Eva

    Very nice post. The (seemingly) smaller things or gestures are vital I’d say especially because they can give a much quicker sense of satisfaction or happiness than some of the ‘big’ things in life. Small moments like enjoying some heated discussions with friends, having a hilarious chat with a London taxi driver in the rain, enjoying a cappuccino in the sun or a delicious pad thai in the streets of Bangkok or indeed someone waiting for you at the door, many things really. These form a rich life. They should be nurtured simultaneously with the ‘big’ things in life (like family/friends, love, work) as they have the capacity to either enrich the big things or – in case the big things perhaps don’t always go as expected – to pull someone through. ‘Only when the tide goes out, do you find out who’s been swimming naked’ and hasn’t paid attention to the small details along the way…not sure Mr Buffett had this situation in mind but you know what I mean;)