I got a great question from IWT reader Kara, who wants to know how she can stop being shy.
“I would like to change the behavior of being shy. I’m an idea person and do not share them for fear of being judged. I’m often very hesitant to talk to people unless we can cut the BS and talk for real. I wonder if I should be more open to small talk to connect with people. I also hesitate to share my ideas because I fear it reduces my excitement when I have to answer a bunch of questions. I’m feeling slightly isolated. Please help!”
This question is pure gold because ALL of us are shy in certain situations. Maybe it’s around people who have achieved more than you…or attractive women…or your parents. At my last NYC meetup, I had a girl physically RUN away from me because she was so shy (not kidding). So cute.
Truthfully, I was REALLY shy as a kid. In fact, here’s what my mom told a national reporter when Fortune profiled me:
As a kid growing up in Sacramento, Sethi showed no signs of becoming the brash, opinionated person he is today. His mother, Neelam, says, “When he was really little, he just wanted to be left alone.”
SERIOUSLY, MOM? That was the ONE quote you gave about me in a 6-PAGE PROFILE? Thanks a lot.
Back to Kara’s shyness question. What’s MOST interesting in her question are the invisible scripts — the assumptions she doesn’t even realize she’s making!
- SHE SAYS: “I’m often very hesitant to talk to people unless we can cut the BS and talk for real”
- WHAT SHE IS REALLY SAYING: “I think small talk is BS because I don’t understand it”
So I recorded a video with my answers and suggestions on overcoming shyness. Note: It’s not the same old “5 tips to overcome shyness”:
(NOTE: The opposite of shy is not extroverted. I misspoke.)
Check the video out and leave a comment with how you’ve overcome shyness in just ONE area of your life.
P.S. Btw, heads up: Next week, I’m teaching a free course for 3 DAYS online: Money + Business: Essentials for Creative Entrepreneurs. Here’s the link to sign up free: Money + Business: Essentials for Creative Entrepreneurs