How to stop being jealous
January 23rd, 2014 - 136 Comments
I used to be pretty jealous. I used to actually joke that I was just a “jealous guy,” as if that was part of my makeup.
And the truth is, it’s easy to feel jealous when you’re young and everyone is going through the same experiences — same classes, same grades, same clubs — but some people are objectively better than you.
DAMN! I sucked at a lot of things.
In junior high, one of my friends had way cooler clothes.
In high school, I got the lowest grades on my math tests in the entire class for the whole year.
And early in college, I saw guys who were much better with girls.
The good news is, things started to change. Once you get into college, you’re not all taking the same classes. You start branching off into different paths. Maybe you get a little better with girls or guys. Now, if a friend gets a huge accomplishment, I feel HAPPY, not jealous.
But I have to admit…sometimes it still gets me. We still find a way to judge because it’s in our nature to compare ourselves to others. And often, we do so in very twisted ways.
We check our newsfeed and wonder why we’re stuck in a cubicle while our friend is posting pics from Aruba.
Even if we’ve made it, we still compare. Did you know that most millionaires don’t consider themselves rich? Why? They’re comparing themselves to people above them, not below.
So when I got this question from Matthew R. on jealousy, I wanted to take a few minutes to respond:
“I’m almost 23. I can’t help but compare myself to people in the world who have had great success. And when I look at all of them (yourself, Ramit, included) I feel they were on a much better trajectory at 23 than I am. Compared to people I know, I’m doing much better. But compared to the best, I’m behind. What can I do to resolve this? I realize that’s an incredibly broad question.” – Matthew R.
Watch this video for how I handle jealousy:
Once you’ve watched the video, leave a comment. What makes you jealous? (Be specific.) How do you handle it?
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