I Will Teach You To Be Rich » The Money Diaries http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com Personal finance blog for college students, recent graduates and everyone else -- including entrepreneurship -- for getting rich. Featured in the Wall Street Journal and New York Times. Fri, 10 Feb 2012 14:07:04 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= Money Diaries: The 20-something trying to pay for a wedding AND save for a house AND pay off student loans http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/money-diaries-the-20-something-trying-to-pay-for-a-wedding-and-save-for-a-house-and-pay-off-student-loans/ http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/money-diaries-the-20-something-trying-to-pay-for-a-wedding-and-save-for-a-house-and-pay-off-student-loans/#comments Fri, 11 Nov 2011 16:15:22 +0000 Ramit Sethi http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/?p=7718

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In today’s latest installment of The Money Diaries, Christine is paying down tens of thousands of dollars in student loans and paying for her upcoming wedding and planning ahead for a down payment on a house.

Read today’s diary and share your #1 tip for Christine in the comments below.

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Day 1

09:00 a.m.: “Breakfast” = Slim Fast shake. I have 2 months till the wedding and I am going to do my best to not gain weight. Losing a few pounds wouldn’t be bad either. I don’t need to loose any, but everyone wants to look best for their wedding day. Working from home today so I don’t think I will have too many temptations to eat out, but how to motivate myself to actually work out is another matter.
12:30 p.m.: $40 for deposit for wedding dress alternations, cash only and will have to remember to bring the rest of the bill when I come for my second fitting ($148 on Sept 8th). Never have cash on me, so it takes a big effort for me to actually remember to get out of the ATM. It semi makes me feel like this not the most legitimate business when they only accept cash.
04:00 p.m.: $138 for wedding favors, Tea Forte for everyone and another thing I can check off of my wedding list. Thank goodness Amazon has free shipping. We will print our own labels so we don’t have to go through an overpriced wedding website. Those places seem to love to gouge you whenever you specifically look for anything for a wedding.
05:00 p.m.: Utilities due ($51.73). My fiancée (MF) and I split the bills, but I usually cover the utilities and electric and we split the cost at later.

Day 2

05:00 p.m.: Yet more yeses on the response cards for the wedding. Is it bad that I want more people to start saying no to coming to the wedding?  I just would like to keep it smaller, but my mother added quite a few guests before the invites went out. I had wanted a 100-120 person wedding, but it might be closer to 150. Thank goodness my parents are taking care of the reception. Still, I need to cover the flowers and décor so I hope I have enough!
08:00 p.m.: MF and I discuss getting a house after the wedding. Frankly, I could live in an apartment for a couple more years and be fine, but he is two years older then me and feels it is time for a house. He does make some good arguments for a house, and supposedly the market is good for buyers. We do decide to live in the apartment for another 1 ½ after marriage so that will give us time to save, and find a good deal.

Day 3

10:00 a.m.: Out running errands, had to do a detour so decided to pick up an iced latte and some more coffee from the roaster. I am not a huge coffee drinker but when I do have some I like have some good beans on hand. ($7.25). I don’t feel bad paying extra for good beans, since I will have this during the week and it will prevent me from grabbing coffee on the way to the office.

Day 4

06:00 p.m.: My turn to pick up dinner and since I have been doing nominally good on the diet it is time for a splurge, so it is off to the golden arches ($9.07).
07:00 p.m.: Grocery shopping for the week ($43.59). We switch off making dinner each night. We are both trying to eat healthier so we don’t eat red meat too often, and I try to sneak in some vegetarian meals into to mix.

Day 5

09:00 a.m.: Still trying to find a pianist for the ceremony, I know this is a bit late to still be looking but my other musician I had booked can’t do it anymore. So I have a dilemma I can pay about $300 for a professional I found online, or keep looking for maybe a cheaper option such as a teacher or college student. Hmmm seems like this is going to be a quality over price debate.
11:45 a.m.: Looking over my budget (MF and I have separate budgets and maybe this will change when we get married) at lunch (leftovers) and looks like I am doing good. I have pretty much all my finances automatic (thanks Ramit) so there really isn’t much for me to do besides check and make sure everything is on track. My IRA, savings and wedding savings went through last week, and the only thing I need to manually do is my student loan payment. I have $13,000 outstanding student loan debt, but otherwise I’m debt free. I’ve already paid down the debt from $24,000 in 4 years and I’ve also paid off my car. I’ve got plenty of leeway in my budget, so I do a double payment on my student loan payment this month ($327.04).

Day 6

11:30 a.m.: Had an early meeting and now I am starving. Leftovers are just not going to cut it. I feel a bit guilty about buying lunch but the office cafeteria really isn’t too pricey. $3.50 for a chicken sandwich and veggies. Most days I bring leftovers, but lately I have been feeling kinda isolated because I then tend to eat at my desk. I think that I am going to start scheduling some more time and budget to eating out, so I get more time with my coworkers.

Day 7

10:00 a.m.: My friends and I want to start a long distance book club using webcams but my laptop webcam is not functional so I will have to get one for my desktop. CNET gives plenty of highly rated choices, but do I really need true HD for google chat?  Decide to go with a decent webcam on the lower price range end and also pick up a new mouse because mine has been really skippy lately ($43.05).
01:00 p.m.: Checked the checking account because it’s pay day ($1506 on 15th and 30th). I usually only check in on my account to make sure everything is running ok. Back when I first got out of college, I used to have worry about the amount in my account and if it was getting too low, but nowadays with my budget and automated withdrawals, I can keep a good eye on it without checking in all the time.
05:00 p.m.: Coworkers going away party at the local bar. Good networking opportunity plus a lot of former coworkers were around. It is always nice to see some of the guys who I used to work with. Just $4.29 for a beer + tip, I do like hitting the bars but I am just at a place where paying close to $5 for one beer seems a bit ridiculous.

In Sum

Total Credit: $667.52
Total Debit: $1506

I actually feel I did good this week. One of my trouble spots is impulse online shopping, and being an Amazon prime member doesn’t help be with this problem. I probably didn’t need a new mouse; the old one still works but it is getting to a point where it is getting difficult to use.

I am still pretty nervous about having too large of wedding, the food will cost more, and I don’t know if I have enough decorations. MF keeps on reminding me to look at the big picture, and as long as all our family and friends have a great time that is all that matters. I am at a point savings and budget wise that I am flexible if any sort of emergency comes up, but I know that if MF and I are going to be getting a house in a year or so I have to step it up so we can put a good chunk down on a down payment.

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The Money Diaries series is based off New York Magazine’s Sex Diaries. We collect stories from real people about their spending habits over seven days, anonymize them, and post them here. To be featured anonymously in a future Money Diary, click here.

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Today is another post in the Money Diaries series, which is based off New York Magazine’s Sex Diaries. We’ve collected stories from real people about their spending habits over seven days, anonymized them, and posted them here.

This week’s post is by a 20-something freelance writer who spends his summers living at the resort where his wife works and enjoying all of his free time. Is he living the dream…or mooching off others’ hard work and generosity?

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Day 1

10:30 a.m.: I’m doing volunteer work at the county fair today, so I’m staying with friends. They feed me well (doughnuts!) so not only am I not spending anything, I’m not using my own food either. Meanwhile, back at the resort where my wife works, she’s getting $90 in tips from guests along with $700 cash (her weekly salary). She’s also collecting any good food guests left in their cabins after the week. We score cheese, a veggie tray, and some pie, but no six-pack of imported beer like she found a month ago.
5:00 p.m.: One of the other guys volunteering brings dinner. Still, an hour or so later, my friend and I split more fair food and lemonade. When in Rome…$6.

Day 2

8:45 a.m.: My wife and I leave for church. It’s an hour and a half away, and there are dozens of closer churches, but we think the time and gas money for the weekly round trip is worth it for the quality of the Bible teaching. We spend extravagantly on what matters to us, and this is one of those things.
11:45 a.m.: We have extra money in our grocery budget, so I decide to purchase nine bottles of unusual craft bemer from an online store for $60. Totally worth it.
12:00 p.m.: Date time. We go to a suspiciously low-priced Chinese buffet (crab legs and sushi for $10???), then hit the bookstore for some cheap books. After spending $15 for three books we find an even cheaper deal right outside-a used book sale. $5 gets us a paper bag full of 10 or 15 books, some of which I would have paid $5 each for.

Day 3

8:00 a.m.: I worry about the alleged “double dip” recession. I’ve got this idea I call “two-way dollar cost averaging”. They say you should buy stocks at a steady rate and not try to time the market. Well, if that’s really true, I can put nearly all savings into stocks as money comes in and when I need some I can withdraw it at a steady rate also. On balance, I should be making 8% a year instead of 0.0% or whatever savings accounts currently pay. I don’t care if I lose money some years, since on average, over a lifetime, I should gain more than I lose. Here’s how it would work to go both ways. We have $10,000 or so saved after the summer that we plan on spending throughout the year. So we’ll buy 10 stocks (I always buy stocks in $1,000 increments), which brings our total to about 40. When we need a few thousand here and there, we’ll just sell a hundred or so dollars worth of each stock. (I can get 20 trades a month at $1 each so I’m not worried about commissions). So every year we will end up with 10 more stocks (diversification!) and the value will gradually grow, even though we will be siphoning off money throughout the year. What if we lose money? You’re not supposed to time the market, right? I really hope my strategy isn’t stupid.
12:26 p.m.: Got a bill so my wife grabbed our checkbook. I’m not sure how much the bill is for, but it doesn’t matter because she will write it down and subtract it from our housing budget. We have at least 10 budget sub-accounts, but since we bank locally we just do the math on paper instead of via ING. Neither of us would ever spend it just because it’s there, so the numbers on our budget books are barriers enough to prevent us from overspending in a category.
5:00 p.m.: I work from home, and in summer I live at the resort where my wife works. (I’ve got several freelance projects in addition to my salaried job as an editor for 20k a year, with benefits). Today I’m actually way ahead on both counts so I spend the day reading Jane Austen. Dinner is pot pies my wife’s grandpa picked up for us. We cook for him sometimes, and besides, she’s his granddaughter, so we eat his food a lot. After dinner a resort guest gives us a couple of extra enchiladas-free dinner tomorrow.
8:40 p.m.: Reflecting on tomorrow’s plans. I will touch base about a couple of writing projects I’m doing for a client on the side. The gig is writing technical but rather puffy trade journal articles to loosely steer readers to this guy’s products without being too obvious about it. He’s paying me $400 for each of five articles (four are on the same topic, so not too much research!) and $600 to submit them to the magazines. Even adding in a couple of meetings, time it took me to write the proposal, etc, it’s looking like about $50 an hour. That’s pretty good for me, since most of my freelance writing averages out closer to $25 an hour.

Day 4

10:00 a.m.: I walked down the hill to the main lodge to eat and work. This commute is relatively inexpensive. Checked stocks…we’ve lost 20% on paper in the last year. I won’t lock it in by selling, though.
8:00 p.m.: Spent nothing all day. Not proud of that because I’m not against spending by any means, but that’s how it ended up happening. Going to work out. During the summer I work out alone with my kettlebell or go running. Free!
9:56 p.m.: My wife balanced our budget. We are in the black in every category: $433 medical, $76 clothes, $500 food, $122 miscellaneous, $214 charity, $747 housing, $304 auto, $286 fun. Some of that is intended for future problems (car breaks, etc). We also have a separate “long term” account for things that are guaranteed like property tax, car insurance, etc.

Day 5

9:14 a.m.: Tomorrow I have to drive back home for a meeting. I plan to add money to our long-term “account” (really just a balance sheet, all our money is really in stocks or our checking account) for taxes and insurance. We have $6,140.85 in there now, but only because we got a heavy tax refund for our house. We will use it for home stuff (repairs, etc).
11:11 a.m.: Just got a call from the only person I supervise – an unpaid intern at our magazine. She finished another round of difficult tasks and wanted to know if I had more work for her. I am consistently floored by her diligence. I am very close to hiring her as an assistant for my freelance work. I don’t know exactly what I would have her do, but she’s so reliable that I don’t want to lose her. Lead generation? Following up on my freelance queries for me? I don’t know yet, but once I figure it out, this has the potential to be a very good thing.
5:00 p.m.: Was going to buy pizza for a group event, but everyone cancels except my brother and my wife (via Skype) so we eat with my parents.

Day 6

11:15 a.m.: After my work meeting, I drop off a couple of checks at the bank – $256 for a freelance article I wrote and a $29 rebate when I cancelled our Internet for the summer. I’ll call and re-negotiate the price when we get back in the fall. Promos are usually $30 or $35 a month but regular rate is $50. I don’t want to pay regular rate. Buy gas for $35, ask for student discount (wife is a college student) and use loyalty program discount. Wow — 80 cents saved. Maybe I’ll splurge on a quarter of a gallon of gas. That gas discount feels completely worthless, but I just did the math and it gets me 9 miles (one extra short round trip per tank) so I guess it’s worth asking for.
5:00 p.m.: I wake up from a nap. I like working from home. Most of today I spend hanging around and reading for fun. One reason I’ve stuck with my low-paying job as long as I have is the unbelievable flexibility. I’ve tried negotiating a better salary two or three times in the last three years but I doubt I’ll be successful as our company really isn’t very profitable yet. There are only five of us and the owner is pretty open about sharing our monthly revenue and costs with us. I also don’t know how I could find a job that’s this flexible anywhere else.
1:00 a.m.: Entertaining and free evening. Worked out with a friend at my dad’s home gym (we were going to use free guest passes at a fitness center, but my friend couldn’t find them. So it would have been free either way.) Then played guitar. Ate stuff from the fridge.

Day 7

10:00 a.m.: Sore from doing weighted pull-ups at 122% bodyweight. Thought I’d throw that in there to see if someone leaves a comment below about how awesomely strong I am.
7:00 p.m.: Drive back to the resort. I get paid sometime next week, but I don’t keep track because we spend based on our budget, not our checks. It’s been a fairly average week. My only regret is not spending time on lead generation or pitch letters. Oh well, you don’t always have a great week. But, I’m on my sixth year of freelancing, and I’m not going to give up now.

In Sum

Spent: $150 (I didn’t buy the beer yet)
Made: $1,075

But that’s not really how I view money. Dollars in and out per week isn’t a good index. We save what my wife makes in the summer and spend it all year, and our expenses are usually higher-heating oil, food, utilities, etc. We really rely on our multiple category budget to tell us what we have, what we can spend, etc. It’s helpful to see the numbers going from red to black and it allows us to be conscious of what we’re spending. My only concern is that I focus too much on money. Automation might help, but I think it’s a mindset issue more than anything else.

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To be featured anonymously in a future Money Diary, click here.

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Today is another post in the Money Diaries series, which is based off New York Magazine’s Sex Diaries. We’ve collected stories from real people about their spending habits over seven days, anonymized them, and posted them here.

Day 1

11:38 a.m.: Wake up late. It’s nice to not have any work or school…yet. I just finished my summer internship the previous week, but my second year of business school starts in just 6 days. Yikes!
12:30 p.m.: Ate lunch at home and save some money. It’s a nice perk of living at home with the parents before I move back East.
1:00 p.m.: The Dow goes down 419 points. Lots of stocks are looking very cheap, it’s time like these I wish I had some cash still. Even though there’s a lot of uncertainty now, I’m confident in the fundamentals of the companies I invest in so this is a great opportunity to pick up some stocks on the cheap. I have about $75,000 in student loans which I plan on paying back once I graduate. The rates are so low now so I consider it a smart financial move to take on loans while I keep my savings invested in the market.
3:41 p.m.: Purchase roundtrip tickets back home for a wedding for $366.80 using Hipmunk, which is a pretty neat airfare comparison site. Even though the wedding means I’ll be returning home to the Bay Area only 9 days after I start school, I couldn’t imagine not attending. At least my Citi credit card has a promotion for 5% cash back on air travel. I have 10+ credit cards, but primarily use 3 depending on the cash back rewards (one for general purchases, one for eating out, and one for gas). I pay off my balances each month and watch them all like a hawk. (It’s kinda fun). I primarily use a credit union for my banking needs since it offers really great terms, but I keep most of my savings in my trading account.
4:00 p.m.: I consider getting my car professionally cleaned since a friend’s dog got carsick and threw up in the backseat of my car over the weekend. I reason that it’s not that bad so I clean it myself.
9:05 p.m.: Running a little late for a second date with a girl I just met. I originally wanted to take her out to dinner, but she’d already eaten so we go to some fancy bar on Sand Hill Road. A glass of wine for her and a martini for me (I was in a James Bond mood) set me back $40 ($30 + $10 tip). I’m not really a bar guy so I’m not really sure how much to tip, but I figure $10 is more than enough. If only they made $6 bills, that would have been ideal.
11:16 p.m.: After the date, I head over to Lucky to pick up some Jelly Bellies for $9.39. I have plans with a “friend” the next day and she mentioned her favorite flavor so I got her a bag of Green Apple. Dating can really add up.
11:26 p.m.: Even though I usually try to empty my tank before I leave the area for extended periods of time, I fill up my tank for $46.70. Good thing my American Express card gives me 3% cash back on gas.

Day 2

10:46 am: Wake up to a text that my “friend” is too sick to meet up and she reschedules to the next day. Sigh.
11:57 a.m.: Call Dell about an email I had received about getting a $75 Gift Card for purchasing an extended warranty on my laptop. Even though I received the offer after I had already purchased the warranty, I’m a longtime IWTYTBR reader and was just trying to channel my inner Ramit to see if I could swing the gift card. It turns out you have to spend $200 to qualify and I only spent $180. That’s enough to deter me from pursuing it further.
4:30 p.m.: Saw a deal on Slickdeals.net for $65 off $100 ($20 off $50 when using AMEX, $20 off $50 for checking in on foursquare, and $25 off $100 Coupon) and I head over to Sports Authority to buy a tennis racket since I’m trying to take up tennis. At the store, I look up prices and ratings using the Amazon mobile app and end up getting a $140 racket for $84.48 after tax. Score!  My foursquare check-in gives me an additional $25 in cash cards which I plan to use in conjunction with another coupon I brought. I browse for more items and end up losing the cash cards. I look around everywhere for them, but they’re nowhere to be found. I share my plight with the manager and he rummages through a pile of coupons. He doesn’t find the cash cards, but gives me a $15 off $50 Coupon. Even though it’s a nice consolation, I still lament the loss of the cash cards. I use the $15 off Coupon to get 2 pairs of insoles ($20 each) and a 3-Pack of socks for $43.28.
6:00 p.m.: Go to Fry’s and return 2 HP Wifi I mice bought online for $32.45 in credit. I liked the idea of not having to plug a receiver into my laptop so much that I got two. Unfortunately, I didn’t like the feel of the mice in my hands so I had to return them. It’s just one of the perils of online shopping.
8:25 p.m.: I get a mouse I’m familiar with on Amazon for $18.79.
9:00 p.m.: My parents have left for Reno already, but my Mom has prepared food to sustain me over the weekend. It’s a quiet evening as I stay in and watch Hulu and Netflix and eat leftovers. Is that lame for a Friday night?

Day 3

11:50 a.m.: Wake up and go to my local credit union to deposit the last paycheck from my internship. I look at the earnings summary and regret withholding so much since I only worked for 2 months and don’t anticipate paying much in taxes this year. That would have been a nice chunk of change to add to my trading account.
12:00 p.m.: Go to Chase to open an account for a $150 bonus. I know Ramit would probably advise against these money making schemes, but it would probably only take me about 30 minutes of hassle since I automate the process and would just close the account after I get the $150. I leave when it turns out it requires direct deposit for which I have none.
2:20 p.m.: I get the bright idea to try indoor skydiving. After confirming with bar girl that she can make it, I make reservations for 2 for $133.85.
3:05 p.m.: My friend texts me that she’s in the area and can help me shop for sunglasses which we’ve been meaning to do. I’m fashion-challenged so when it comes to stylish clothes and accessories, I have female friends pick those out for me. Even though the items they pick are usually not on sale, the value of their tasteful opinions is worth paying full price for the confidence it gives me. I end up getting Ray-Bans for $172.12. I buy her a snack at a fancy French bakery for $17.40 to thank her for her help.
6:30 p.m.: Jelly Belly girl is sick still and cancels on me again so I get a much-needed haircut instead. $15 including $3 tip.
7:15 p.m.: Another low-key night of Netflix at home.

Day 4

11:33 a.m.: Bar girl calls and says she has to work later that night and won’t make it to indoor skydiving. We’ll meet up for dinner instead at a tapas place I mentioned to her earlier. I call the indoor skydiving place and put it on hold for an additional $20 charge.
12:30 p.m.: Eat lunch at home.
4:50 p.m.: Go to Walgreens and buy a gallon of water for $1.89 for an early evening basketball session. I usually buy 5-6 Arizona Iced Teas, but this will save me money and from consuming empty calories.
8:00 p.m.: Dinner with bar girl comes out to $90 ($18.01 tip). We have a nice time, but the wine clouds my mind and I probably tipped more than I intended. I use my Chase Ink card which gets 3% cash back on dining out.

Day 5

10:20 a.m.: It’s my last day before I leave for school so I made some goodbye plans with friends. The first stop is Jamba Juice since I won’t have much chance to go when I’m in school. Nice, my friend pays for my Powersized Strawberries Wild with Immunity Boost. I am a Jamba Juice monster, and it only lasts 10 minutes.
10:35 a.m.: In-N-Out is another West Coast favorite that I will miss, and I pay $7.14 for myself and him to return the favor.
11:30 a.m.: We head over to a ramen place and meet with another friend. It’s cash only, and I’m the only one with cash (how convenient) so I have to pay for everyone ($44). Since I’m already full from In-N-Out, I get most of it to-go.
12:40 p.m.: Rush over to watch Conan the Barbarian. Since I paid for lunch, my friend pays for my ticket. Even though his lunch was probably twice the price of my movie ticket, what’s a few bucks between friends?  Conan is not very good.
3:50 pm: Return clothes I had bought online to Macy’s ($165.57) and Bloomingdale’s ($298.77). I purposely buy more when I shop online to make sure I get the right size (and qualify for free shipping).
7:25 pm: Rush over to a goodbye dinner with friends, $15. Show off my new sunglasses even though it’s indoors and nighttime.
11:45 pm: I guess I don’t want to leave California, and I miss my flight. I get it rescheduled to another airport which means I’ll have to rent a car to get to my final destination. Then I scramble to reschedule picking up my apartment keys and my appointment with movers at my new place. I make a makeshift pillow out of luggage to sleep on as I wait for my newly rescheduled flight.

Day 6

4:00 a.m.: Check baggage ($60). It’s cheaper than shipping cross-country.
4:45 p.m.: Get an overpriced panini at the airport, $8.12. Then I rent a car even though they quote me $200. It seems there’s some NASCAR event that week that’s driven up all the prices.
8:40 p.m.: I get 3 value items ($3.87) at Arby’s. Then I maximize the use of the rental car by going to Walmart to pick up apartment supplies, $163.09, which I’ll split with my roommate. Then another $36.59 on fruit and snacks at the grocery store.

Day 7

10:35 a.m.: When I return my rental car ($194.88), I find out they charged me for all the extra services (loss-damage, etc.). I wonder if that’s standard policy when you don’t return the car to the same location. I’ll have to look into that.
1:15 p.m.: I’ll sign up for the school dining card later to get a 13% discount on the cafeteria. For now, $3.99 for soup.
6:00 p.m.: Pay movers $185. It only takes 1 hour, but the minimum is 2. Tip $15 anyway since they were students and could probably use the money. I’m splitting the costs with 3 other people anyway.
08:00 p.m.: Splurge on dinner with new roommate at the best Indian restaurant in town, $24. Yum.

In Sum

Total spent: $1,816.43
Total deposited: $3,032.94
Total returns: $496.79
Meals at home: 7
Meals out: 8
Dates: 2
Cancelled Dates: 2
Indoor skydiving: 0

Lots going on since I was meeting up with people before I left, dating and preparing to move back to school. I used to try to adhere to $10 of discretionary spending (including eating out), but now I’m comfortable with spending based on value derived from the good or service. My only regrets are not taking advantage of the market declines more and missing my flight since all that scrambling cost me a bit of money. Oh, and leaving California, the greatest place on Earth.

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To be featured anonymously in a future Money Diary, click here.

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Today is another post in the Money Diaries series, which is based off New York Magazine’s Sex Diaries. We’ve collected stories from real people about their spending habits over seven days, anonymized them, and posted them here.


This week’s post is by a 29-year-old graphic designer exhausted from trying to hold down his full-time job, grow his part-time freelance work, pursue his artistic goals and help raise a three-year-old. He’s debt-free but saving nothing, and his stress about money is through the roof. What’s the first change this guy should make?

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Day 1

12:45 a.m.:  Good morning! It’s past midnight. That must mean I’m wrapping up another long night of freelance work. Three hours x $70 an hour = $210. Minus about 25% for taxes, so that’s about $157 net. My wife’s been bugging me to review the weekly budget she emailed me several days ago, but I’m still too afraid to look at it. And tired. I can’t stand to recalculate how many weeks or months until we’re in debt. I’m honestly not sure how we still have cash in the bank. She took a couple years off to raise our son and now she’s having a tough time finding work again. I’m trying not to be bitter that I’m burning the midnight oil doing freelance on top of my day job while she goes to bed early because she’s too tired to put in a little time each night looking for work or doing freelance. What am I supposed to do? Part of me says I need to crack down, cut up the credit cards, watch each penny like a hawk. That won’t work, of course. Part of me says fuck it. I buy a song on iTunes that I’ve been playing on Grooveshark nonstop. There goes another buck. Time for bed.
7:00 a.m.:  My son is up. Which means I’m up. My wife is slow to get up in the morning. I gotta start the kid’s breakfast and feed the dog and pack my lunch and shower and get ready for work. I know I should pack a big, tasty lunch the night before. But I’m tired and have to get to work. So I throw in a can of sardines (which I do like) and some carrots and a soda in my lunch bag. I make eggs for my family, but I have to put mine in Tupperware and eat it at the office. I’m running late.
10:30 a.m.:  Morning break. I walk to 7-11 with my cube mate. The maple frosted, cream-filled long johns are calling my name, but I resist. Save myself $1.35.
1:30 p.m.:  Who am I kidding? One can of sardines isn’t going to make me feel better. Plus, I need to get out of the office for lunch or I’ll go crazy. My office is full of idiots. And at $20/hour, I’m underpaid. It’s depressing when I think about it. Off to McDonalds. $4 and change for a McDouble, two small fries and a large Coke (to keep me awake through the afternoon). I know it’s bad for me, but it’s cheap and easy and delicious and the only restaurant close to my office.
9:15 p.m.: My wife went to yoga this evening, so I watched the kiddo. Finally ate my sardines. Had a beer to relax. Now it’s time for freelance. I make another $100.

Day 2

10:30 a.m.:  So much for resisting that long john. I just wish I could get back to the office before it’s all gone. $1.35.
3:30 p.m.:  Thank god for my smartphone. I can keep an eye on my freelance email while I’m at the office. One client drops a couple rush projects in my lap. Altogether, probably $500 worth of work. That’s great, I need the money. But I don’t know if I have the time. Oops. Time for another boring meeting.
10:00 p.m.:  I’ve started outsourcing some of my freelance to a friend of mine. He’s good, but still learning, so it still takes a chunk of my time to explain, review and polish his work. I give him half of the work and pay him $150 (which he’s glad to get). And I do the rest myself. I wanted to start working earlier this evening, but it’s hard to put my son to bed and go straight to work. I need some time for myself. Which isn’t spent painting – what I really want to do. Mostly it’s spent on Facebook and Twitter. Ugh.

Day 3

11:30 a.m.:  My insurance agent calls with estimates for private health insurance. I want to go full-time freelance, but with my wife out of work and no savings, I don’t think we can afford the transition. Right now I’m spending $8,000 a year to insure all of us through my work. And the coverage isn’t that great. Seems like highway robbery to me. Private insurance should be cheaper.
12:00 p.m.: I use my lunch break to take a nap in my car. Kind of helps.
5:00 p.m.:  I get home to find my wife bought a new welcome mat. This is supposed to help our feng shui and improve our financial situation. All I know for sure is that we’re out another $45. What would really help? Her getting a job.
9:30 p.m.:  More freelance. Mostly admin and paperwork. Necessary but not billable time. I manage to squeeze in an hour to update my blog for my painting website. I haven’t sold anything yet. I just started six months ago. It’s hard to find time to market my paintings – or paint – on top of all my work. I feel like everything is backwards.

Day 4

9:30 a.m.:  I use my break at work to visit my son during his gymnastics lesson (down the street). He usually has a good time, and I love that he has these enrichment activities, but $15 for 45 minutes seems pretty steep. I mean, it’s a group class and it’s not like he’s getting one-on-one instruction from an Olympic gymnast. He does love the trampoline, though.
11:30 a.m.:  I was supposed to have a meeting with my boss about a big promotion I’ve been pushing for for six months, but he’s still dragging his feet and putting up excuses for why the timing isn’t right and what about this and that even though he still says I’m good for the job. I’ve been counting on the raise for months to help cover our expenses (we’re about $1,300 in the red each month), but still nothing. Now he’s suggesting the raise that goes with it might not be as big as I may have thought. Why do I bother?
2:00 p.m.:  Back to McDonalds. Another $4 and change for more junk food. This time I actually brought a lunch, but I needed the comfort food. (God, is McDonald’s really comfort food?) I’m embarrassed about eating McDonalds again so I put the charge on my business credit card (for my painting), which my wife doesn’t have access to.
10:30 p.m.: It’s Friday night. Do you know where your graphic designer is? He’s still working. The freelance never ends and never is enough. Another $105.

Day 5

8:45 a.m.:  Saturday morning. I don’t have to rush off to the office, so I can enjoy a nice breakfast with my family. Then it’s off to do more freelance work. I have a full day of work. My wife collects the week’s receipts so she can update the budget. We track every expenditure. There’s some 75 different categories of expenses. The ship might be sinking, but we’ll know exactly where the holes are. (Everywhere!)
12:00 p.m.:  Lunch. I’ve made $140 so far and spent another hour looking at someone else’s painting blog and daydreaming I had more time to paint. When was the last time I actually painted? Now I’m behind at work.
12:30 p.m.: My wife tells me one of my freelance checks arrived ($1,200) and my direct deposit check from work cleared ($1,200 – biweekly). Then she tells me she paid the mortgage ($1,100), HOA ($200), car insurance ($95), nanny ($400 for a few afternoons a week while my wife looks for work) and gym membership ($127). She also says we’re going to be overbudget (again) for groceries. We’re halfway through the month and we’ve already spent $600 on food. If past months are any guide, we’ll definitely spend another $600 on groceries (that doesn’t count eating out) before the month’s over. The budget is always depressing.
1:00 p.m.:  I break down and look at the spreadsheet my wife sent over. We’ve budget $30 each month for personal expenses. I’ve averaged $24 so far this year. She averages $70. Last month she spent $204 in this category. As far as I can tell, this is mostly her eating out regularly because she’s depressed about being stuck at home all the time.
4:00 p.m.:  My wife is asking when I’ll be done with work. I’m pissed off. How am I supposed to pay for all of this shit when she’s constantly asking me to stop working early or to take a long lunch break or skip an evening? I’ve made another $170 (so $310 for the day), but I’ll need to finish tonight after everyone goes to bed.

Day 6

10:00 a.m.:  Sunday is my wife’s day off. I spend the day with my son and she goes to yoga then can do what she wants in the afternoon. I wish I had a day off.
3:30 p.m.:  I take my son to the gym. For $3.50, he can play in the gym nursery – a great deal! – and I can work out for an hour. Afterwards, I take him swimming at the gym pool. Lots of fun.
4:45 p.m.:  We stop by Sam’s Club on the way home to pick up a few items. They don’t have much organic food (we shop at Whole Foods almost exclusively…when we’re not eating at McDonald’s, I guess). Another $44 at Sam’s. I also stop at the liquor store for a $22 handle of Jim Beam. Helps the medicine go down.

Day 7

7:00 a.m.:  It’s Monday and I’m somewhat rested. I decided against doing freelance last night and just went to bed. I’ll pay for that tonight, but for now I’m rested. Time to start the work week over again.
8:45 p.m.:  My wife tells me we should be contributing to our IRAs. I tell her I don’t know how that’s possible since we’re losing money every month. She says it’ll work out and that I’m supposed to get another freelance check this week. So we have cash in the bank. What about keeping some set aside for freelance taxes? I can’t talk about it. I have work to do. Two hours I have to get done before tomorrow. That’s $140.

In Sum

Freelance income: $1,215
Day job income: $600
Expenditures (bills/family): About $2300 (but that includes some monthly expenses)
Expenditures (personal): About $35

Endless work. With all my freelance, I’ve almost doubled my income over the past year, but I’ve also increased my hours 50%. Thinking about money still gets me upset, and I don’t know how to deal with it with my wife. I’ve been just hoping that she’d get a job and things would get better with the thought that it’s easier to make more than save more. But I’m not sure how long we can keep going before we’re screwed.

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Today is another post in the Money Diaries series, which is based off New York Magazine’s Sex Diaries. We’ve collected stories from real people about their spending habits over seven days, anonymized them, and posted them here.

This week’s post is by a 20-something working two jobs but still living paycheck-to-paycheck. Only a few days after being paid, and she’s already almost broke again.

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Day 1

8:00 a.m.: I woke up this morning to my daily balance text message from Bank of America letting me know that my account is $5.31 overdrawn. I can’t really do anything about it, so I basically just have to shrug it off until my direct deposit goes through from my part-time job (Thursday) and my full-time job (Friday). Getting paid bi-weekly is such a pain. I’m okay at budgeting myself out sometimes, but I had a vacation a few weeks ago that I haven’t yet recovered from. So, here we are, on the Tuesday of a pay week, and I’m broke as a joke.
9:00 a.m.: I get a coffee and a donut at Dunkin’ Donuts on my way into the office ($3.47) and a French roll at the bakery nearby a few blocks later when I realize I’m not in the mood for a donut ($1.35).
10:00 a.m.:At work, I do some online window-shopping through all the discount sites I subscribe to (Ideeli, Rue La La, Gilt, etc.) but delete all the e-mails. I know I’ll get new ones on Tuesday after my paychecks come in, and that I’ll probably do some shopping then. I also research some trips to St. Bart’s that my boyfriend and I talked about taking next fall. $2,500 per person seems reasonable to save up over the next year, although I have student loans and credit card debt piling up that I never think about savings plans for, ever. I’ve actually been spending the money in my ING Savings account that I transferred over. That’s supposed to be my vacation savings but it’s disappearing.

Day 2

11:00 a.m.: My boyfriend and I just resigned the lease on our apartment. We decided that we were going to celebrate by going to Ikea and buying some furniture for the place. I still owe him $300 for rent that I borrowed for my trip last month, but he says I can just pay him all back when I get paid this week. We get a Zipcar for the day and drive the 45 minutes to Ikea, where we spend about $150.
4:00 p.m.: When we get back to Boston, we’re too tired to go to the grocery store, so we spend about $70 on overpriced provisions at CVS across the street. The amount I owe him is climbing but it’s all stuff we need, we rationalize, so I just go with it.

Day 3

5:00 p.m.: I got a $100 paycheck from my part-time job today, and I immediately feel relieved and want to spend something. I bring home $25 worth of Panera for me and my boyfriend on my way home from work (we barely even eat half of it like I knew we would), loan $50 to my best friend for Red Sox tickets I really wanted her to have, and think briefly about shopping (just one shirt!) but I manage to control myself. Not much I can do with my remaining $20 anyway.

Day 4

8:00 a.m.: Pay Day! I feel rich when Bank of America texts me this morning with my new balance ($1,300), but I watch it disappear so quickly over the course of the day that I feel guilty and stressed. I pay back the total I owe Jon ($560 – ouch), pay a part of the $3,800 bill I owe to the vet for my dog from over a year ago ($150) and $110 to my only non-closed credit card.
3:30 p.m.: I decide it’s time to spend money on something for me, so I go downtown and find a salon and get a haircut. I expect to pay about $50 plus tip, but the total comes to $90 because the owner did it, which I didn’t ask for or expect at all. I’m too embarrassed to say anything to the girl at the register, so I fork over my debit card and start feeling anxiety knowing how much cash I blew through today. I get myself a burrito at Boloco for dinner and go home for the night.

Day 5

9:00 a.m.: Today I’m going shopping with my best friend for her wedding dress. I debated with myself for hours last night whether I should take the train to meet her, or get a Zipcar and drive. The car would have cost at least $50, and the train was $20, but I didn’t want to get up that early to take the train. Jon convinces me to save my money and take the train, which I do but I’m not the happiest about it.
12:00 p.m.: Luckily her parents buy us coffee in the morning and lunch after the fitting so I cut some spending there.
5:30 p.m.: When I get home, Jon and I get another Zipcar and go to Target for a few other household things we need. We also grab some groceries while we’re out and spend a total of $150 that I split with him. I keep rationalizing that we deserve to have our apartment the way we want it, but I still feel stressed.

Day 6

12:00 p.m.: Today I’m working a double waiting tables at my part-time job, because I picked up an extra shift at the last minute thanks mostly to this damn haircut. We make okay money, which makes me feel a little better, and I only spend about $10 on food since I just ate at the restaurant all day. I’m exhausted, but if I’m at work for 12 hours, I can’t possibly spend any money, and that’s a good thing.

Day 7

9:00 a.m.: I work from home all day today, so there’s not much of a chance of shopping. I get myself a coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts in the morning, but I have bagels at home. I get cat litter at CVS, but I have a $2 coupon so it’s only $5.99.
12:00 p.m.: Lunch time. I walk over and get a burrito and a smoothie ($10) and stop at CVS again for some soda. I notice my favorite mascara is on sale, so I pick one up ($5) even though I have enough makeup in my bathroom to last me forever.

In Sum:
Total spent: $1150.81
Total deposited: $1300.00

Lots of shopping, lots of stress and guilt over how much I shopped. All week long I neglected to return the phone calls from the Department of Higher Education who keep calling about the loan payments I’m late on. I got paid three days ago, and I’m almost broke again. I spend 60 hours a week working, yet somehow am still living paycheck to paycheck and am ignoring my debts. I need to get it together!

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Today is another post in the Money Diaries series, which is based off New York Magazine’s Sex Diaries. We’ve collected stories from real people about their spending habits over seven days, anonymized them, and posted them here.

iStock_000010520744XSmall

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Today’s post is by a 28-year-old woman who lives with her boyfriend in the Netherlands. She has $35k in student loans and has recently taken on the expense of her own apartment, where she’ll live during the week to eliminate a long train commute. What do you think — is this a smart move? (NOTE: her spending is in euros, unless specified.)

Day 1
2 p.m.: Payday! I get paid once a month. I immediately send my boyfriend 125 (since my health insurance is under his name) and funnel 166 to my savings account. I wire 400 to my US bank account (which is about $280 U.S. dollars. I won’t know exactly how much it is in euros until it clears) for student-loan repayments. I owe about $35k.
5 p.m: Ordinarily I do all the grocery shopping on Saturday, but tonight there’s nothing but potato chips for dinner. So I go out, get some bread and cheese for sandwiches. Spend a little extra on fruit and croissants for tomorrow’s breakfast. Total spent: 12.45
5:20 p.m.: Stop by the drugstore for some hand lotion, at my boyfriend’s request. I pick up a tube of Neutrogena and something funky called a “Hand mask.” Total spent was 8.05. I don’t mind buying things for him because he takes care of the mortgage and utilities—when he bought his condo, we weren’t living together, and now that we do, I take care of most of the groceries and day-to-day shopping needs.

Day 2
10:20 a.m.: Bus trip to town for a shopping trip. Cost 1.20, but I’ve put down 20 on the card (you scan it as you board the bus, and then again when you get off, and your fare is calculated by distance) earlier this week.
10:34 a.m.: In the Toko (where one gets “exotic” stuff like rice that comes in bags rather than in boxes) to pick up some lemongrass and noodles for the pho that I plan to make tomorrow night (8.5 per kilo). Also notice the chili peppers aren’t moldy for once, so I get a pack of Thai chilies and bird chilies (1.28 and 1.58, respectively). Pick up a bottle of “ginger wine.” just for kicks (7.95). Total spent: 12.90
10:45 a.m.: The WE (sort of like the Gap, but geared more towards “business casual” wear) has set up a temporary outlet store. I get a winter coat there—my own winter coat is hopelessly grimy and looks like I spent the better part of my life in a trash heap. Spent 29.95 on a nice heavy (and dark!) small men’s winter coat that comes to my hips.
11:02 a.m.: (according to the time stamp) Stop by the ATM to get an additional 60 in cash. I prefer shopping with cash, and also because the farmer’s market doesn’t take electronic payments.
11:10 a.m.: At the farmer’s market, spend 4.50 on a bunch of herbs and garlic.
11:23 a.m.: At the pet store. I hate the pet store. I always get something extra, because it’s so much fun to spoil my cats. In this case, my cats have worn out their cardboard scratch pad after a scant few weeks (my old one lasted a good several months, so I didn’t expect this one to wear out so quickly), so I want to replace it with a sisal one before they attack the sofas. I end up spending 12.15 on the scratch board, four individual cans of cat food (I tend to get lazy about preparing their dinners on the weekends), and two toy mice.
11:45 a.m.: At Xenos, where my boyfriend picks up more candles, a few glasses, some throw pillows. I don’t actually know how much he spent, because we keep our purchases separate. We also stop by the craft store to get some candle-making things—for him, again. I think he spent ~60, but again, we keep our financial lives separate.
12:29 p.m.: head back home. My bus card is down to 13.08.
12:50 p.m.: Get some stuff for the planned pho tomorrow. Also get some salami and stuff to pack my boyfriend’s lunch with Sunday night—the stores are not open on Sunday, so I’ve got to get everything today. Total spent 23.25.

Day 3
At home. No money spent, largely because there’s nowhere to spend it. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner consist mainly of simple, cheap stuff out of our pantry. Part II of cleaning done, and more laundry—line-drying limits us to a maximum of two loads per day, or 1 day of sheets. Today is sheet day. No, it’s not because we’re trendy-green, it’s because we don’t have a dryer.
5:35 p.m.: The gas lines of our stove is leaking. Shit. No pho. Double shit. How much is this going to cost us?

Day 4
9 a.m.: Can’t reach any repairmen, although it is possible that it’s listed under something less obvious in the phone book.
10:26 a.m.: To town, to catch the train to Maastricht. I have a 1 p.m. meeting with the realtor who has two apartments I want to look at. I’m looking for a place where I could stay closer to work during the week so that I don’t have to commute 4 hours by train every day. Another 1.20 gone.
10:32 a.m.: 20.20 for a round trip ticket to Maastricht.
10:34 a.m.: Withdraw 60 from the ATM. 40 of it is to become a “member” with the real estate company, so I’ll be able to look at apartments for a year, 20 is for groceries later.
12 p.m.: I haven’t had anything since breakfast this morning, so I spend 1.40 on a little snack.
1:15 p.m.: At the realtor’s, pay my 40, and go see the apartment. It’s nice enough for the price, but an immigration question prevents me from signing the papers right away (the apartment is just over the Belgian border, and I don’t want to have any problems with my residence status in the Netherlands).
2:01 p.m.: 4.70 for lunch—a wrap and a coffee drink from the train station.
4:45 p.m.: Call immigration, find out there won’t be a problem. I can move!
5:25 p.m.: 12.20 in the grocery store, for some milk, more sandwich supplies, and fruit for my boyfriend’s lunch boxes. Yes, I pack his lunch for him.

Day 5
11:04 a.m.: Spent the morning calling up people to see if I can reach someone to repair our gas line. No luck. Also called up the realtor—I can sign for the apartment today. I will be moving into the apartment on November 15. For the first two weeks on the job I will be staying in temporary housing. I figure I should get to know the place a bit first, since I will need to buy all of the accoutrements of living.
11:10 a.m.: Transferred 1300 from my savings account to my checking account. This, along with the 1000 portion that I’ve set aside from this month’s paycheck, will cover the apartment (security deposit, rent for 1/2 a month, plus the realtor’s commission), as well as costs for stuff that I’ll need (pots, pans, a bike, etc). Can we say “IKEA”?
12 p.m.: Lunch at home: PB & J, an apple, and a cup of soup.
12:45 p.m.: 11.96 at the Albert Heijn (supermarket). I’d originally gone to the Blokker to buy hangers, but they were out, so I stopped by the AH for some other things that we needed anyway (spinach, peanut butter, yogurt, Clementine oranges).
3 p.m.: Get an email from the realtor. The bill is 1291, which includes the security deposit, the first 1/2 month’s rent, and the commission. Grumble, but sign, scan, and send. I don’t really mind, though—the realtor did explain the costs, and the apartment will save me a 4-hour roundtrip daily commute.

Day 6
12-2 p.m.: In town again for some little things: total spent was 19.75 on pears, anti-slip mats to trap kitty litter when the cats finish their business, a basket for widowed and orphaned socks, and the regulation trash bags (where I live, if it’s not in the correct bag then it won’t get collected). A random purchase that I made was for two liters of juice—they were only 0.25, and we do drink some juice from time to time. Resend the email with the scanned lease agreement—forgot to attach the document yesterday.

Day 7
Planning how to set up my apartment. This is actually a really big deal because I don’t have a car, nor a license, so I can’t rent one. I figure about 500 for all of the stuff that I’ll need to get, 300 for the washing machine, and 150 for a bike. I did over-estimate some of the costs, so hopefully it won’t be too much more than that.
1 p.m.: 32.32 spent at the Blokker on towels and an alarm clock. Much to my annoyance they don’t carry any non-battery-operated clocks, so I also have to buy batteries.
1:20 p.m.: Spend 30.69 at the AH for a ton of kitty-chicken (I’ve been feeding my cats a mostly-raw diet for the past 2 years), a whole pre-marinated roaster, enough canned cat food for 2 weeks’ worth of dinners, and some flavored milk priced at 3-for-2, a favorite that won’t last long enough to go bad. I don’t dare get too much fresh food for my boyfriend, since odds are he’ll be too tired to make anything for himself before it goes bad.

IN SUM
1745 euros gained, 676.27 actively spent, 176 saved, but 1291 out of my savings (which is now depleted to 576) for a new life that will start next week.

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Read other Money Diaries. Or to be featured anonymously in a future Money Diary, click here.

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We’re in the final week of a 3-week course on earning more money (see all posts on earning more money).

Today, a Freelance Diaries by a former technology employee in San Francisco who was laid off a year ago, and is now a full-time freelance marketing consultant. Below, you’ll notice:

  • Her work/life balance is blurred: She works out every day and takes a 2-hour lunch with no worries, but also works past 10pm many nights
  • How there’s lots of “meta-work,” including administrative work, billing clients, and keeping them updated with her work
  • She earns a $6,000 check — which is a 300% freelancer raise in less than 3 months (and a 30% raise from her former full-time job)

Once you’re done, take 5 seconds to sign up to learn specific strategies and tactics to earn more money at Earn1k.com.

* * *

Day 1 (a Monday)

9 a.m. Wake up and open my laptop. A year ago, I’d be rushing to my desk at this time, probably with some free breakfast in hand. Ah, the good days of free breakfasts… as a freelancer working from home, I don’t get that benefit anymore, nor do I get to chitchat with my coworkers every morning. Work pretty much starts as soon as I let it, but not having to rush off, commute or deal with a ‘manager’ makes it worth it.

10 a.m. Monday mornings I send a weekly update to a major client. I spend a full hour working on this single email because it’s where I talk about what I’ve done and why they should keep paying my fee.

Lesson Learned: Spending an hour on what seems like an administrative email seems long, but it’s turned out to be one of the most important ways to keep my client happy. My client gets almost no face-to-face time with me, so this is my way of showing up. I recap everything I accomplished in the previous week in terms of the objectives we set at the beginning of our relationship, and I outline my plans for the coming week. I make sure to emphasize results, not just tasks. I’ll use this email later when it’s time to raise my rates (“Last month, I accomplished XYZ. This month will be even bigger….”) This is the longest email I send to anybody all week.

11 a.m. Daily workout session. It’s so great to have the freedom to go to the 11:00 session — I don’t have to get up early and it’s never crowded. My friends think it’s weird / sketchy that I can go to work out in the middle of the day for 2 hours, especially since they’re not sure how I actually make money to afford stuff like this. I love perpetuating the mystery for them.

1 p.m. Time to get back to work.

4 p.m.: I’m feeling a little distracted, or maybe just tired from an intense afternoon of writing, so I decide to take a short walk. Not having in-person coworkers or a watercooler to distract me means that work can get surprisingly intense.

Lesson Learned: Giving myself intentional breaks away from the screen – and not just mindlessly surfing Facebook – are really helpful in restoring my mental energy, but don’t make me feel like I’ve been wasting time.

7 p.m. Dinner out with my boyfriend. Saves time on cooking / cleaning that I’ll use to do some work for a third client I’ve recently brought in.

9 p.m. Back in front of the screen, I switch to client #2. I always get a ton done between 9 p.m. and midnight, most people’s t.v. time. It can be annoying to work late, or to have stuff to do when everyone else is having fun, but then I remind myself that I already had my fun time – in the middle of the day while everyone else was at their cubicles.

Day 2

9 a.m. Sometimes I check my email on my phone from bed. I know everyone says this is bad, no boundaries, blahblah, etc. I tend to agree, but for some reason I always get a ton of emails from one client between 2 a.m. and 7 a.m., so I’m a bit anxious to see what’s up.

My client appreciated the weekly update, but didn’t respond specifically to any of the questions / requests I put in it. Still no answer on the website budget from this client, but the deadline hasn’t changed. I usually like emails because they’re safe and allow me time to craft my communication, but some in some situations a phone call works best. I hate phone calls, but in this case I call my client to get a final answer on this so I can move on.

Lesson Learned: Because I get almost no face-time with clients, the immediacy of a phone call can be just as important as the long, detailed weekly emails I put together.

11 a.m. Work out again. It’s daily!

2 p.m. Today I have an in-person meeting with a potential client. I don’t like commuting around to in-person meetings, but sometimes these are the best way to pitch yourself. I know I’m much better in-person than on the phone, so if there’s a new client I really want to work with, I always try to get an in-person with them.

5 p.m. I’m back at home and doing some publicity work for a client. This means researching past news on competitors, writing stories, and calling up journalists to pitch them.

Day 3

9 a.m. Work, work, work. People tend to think freelancers can do whatever we want, whenever we want. It’s pretty much true – I could do that, but I actually need structure in order to get stuff done. When I first started freelancing, I loved the flexibility, but sort of lost sight of structure. I didn’t get a whole lot done each day, and I would always wonder why. Getting up and starting work at the same time every day gives my whole day structure so I can be productive.

11 a.m. You-know-what.

1 p.m. My client is sponsoring a big conference this week, so I spend the rest of the afternoon running around and making sure everything is in place.

Day 4

1 a.m. I am falling asleep when I hear a “bzzz. bzzz. bzzz.” Oh no… a series of text messages. No one ever texts me at this time of night just for fun. I wish I could just pretend I hadn’t heard it, but I drag myself out of bed to see what’s up.

My client has a public image emergency. Business journalists and bloggers rarely work on a 9 to 5 schedule, so that means I don’t either. I’m told that a huge last-minute story about my client’s company is going to break in less than an hour. They need me to produce a public statement and letter to my client’s customers. I am on Skype with the co-founder and corporate counsel well into the wee hours of the morning.

Here’s where being a freelance consultant hurts me: I’ve done a good job, so I’m close with the company. But, I am still a freelancer, so I’m not that close from a legal and business perspective. For legal reasons, it’s common for me not to hear about developments like this until they’re already happening. Like at 1 a.m.

10 a.m. I am tired. This would never have happened at my old job, which, despite its many shortcomings, always ended with the regular workday.

11 a.m. Somehow I still manage to go to work out. Maybe this freelancing deal is not so bad after all — I’d be stuck at my desk looking at a spreadsheet if it were my old job.

1 p.m. Lunch with a friend who’s also a freelance consultant. It feels great to be sitting around at this restaurant in the middle of the day. Neither of us looks at our watches.

3 p.m. This week has been heavy for one client, so I devote the remainder of my afternoon to monitoring press reactions and preparing for their conference.

7 p.m. All I want to do is stare at the ceiling, but I need to spend some time tending to my other clients. It’ll be a working dinner tonight.

Day 5

7 a.m. Ah, Friday. Friday still feels like Friday to me, even as a freelancer making my own schedule. I’m helping my client at their big conference today so I’m up early.

2 p.m. I’ve spent all morning running my client’s booth, making sure speaking spots have gone well, and meeting new people. Here’s my thinking: my contract with my current client will inevitably end, so attending industry events like this one makes sure that I get visibility with other potential clients. It can be exhausting, but it works better than sending ‘cold’ emails to people I don’t know very well–emails are pretty easy to ignore, while face-to-face conversations are hard to forget.

An extra note: I do marketing, so one way I get through these conferences is by thinking of them in terms of audiences. Here, my primary audience is my client. For me right now, that’s the person I need to impress most. But actually, it doesn’t stop at that person. I have a secondary audience: my client’s peers and/or competitors. These people might turn into clients if they see and like the results of my work. In my view, I even a tertiary audience – people who will never become my clients, but who might talk about me to potential clients if they’re impressed with what they see.

These are some of the things going through my head as I walk around and talk to people at this conference. I actually get really nervous talking to people I don’t know well, but I know I have to do it if I want to make my freelance consulting thrive. I pretend that I’m somebody gregarious – and I make sure I have a set of things to talk about that I can fall back on.

By the end of the day, I’m all talked-out and just want to go home and stare at the wall. The good thing is, I did have a couple of decent conversations and people that I’ll follow up with via email (I never use business cards – remind me too much of a used car salesman, but that’s just my take on it).

Day 6

11 a.m. I get up late! Unlike some freelancers and consultants I know, I don’t do any official work on Saturdays or Sundays. I do, however, work on experimental projects that often end up netting me more income. I also catch up on stuff that supports my business, but isn’t directly income-generating. Stuff like reading industry blogs, reading people’s Twitter feeds, maybe writing a blog post.

1 p.m. A fat check arrives in the mail. It’s for over $6k– more than 3 times fatter than the checks I used to get as a freelancer 3 months ago.

7 p.m. I go to a dinner party with a client who’s now also become a friend. Lots of people in my industry are at this party, so there’s plenty to talk about and ideas to throw around. I’ve developed social relationships with a lot of the people I work with, and have found it be a big source of new projects. All else being equal, most people would rather work with friends than with random strangers.

Day 7

11 a.m. Catching up on administrative stuff. Working for myself means that I spend my own time to take care of business essentials like billing, accounting, marketing and sales. That’s all stuff I don’t get to invoice somebody for, so it often ends up getting done in my ‘off’ time, on the weekends.

6 p.m. The workweek for me really starts on Sunday evening. It’s my time to ready myself for the coming week and queue up stuff to launch on Monday morning.

8 p.m. Dinner with friends from my old corporate job. They complain about their jobs and their executives and tell me how lucky I am not to work there anymore. Nobody really gets what I do all week, and they’re continually confused as to how/why I have money. I don’t tell them that I actually make 30% more as a freelancer than I did when I was working next to them. I tell them they could be freelancers too, or at least start it on the side, but their eyes just glaze over. Shrug. I guess that means less competition for me, but fewer 3-hour lunch buddies.

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As part of the series on earning more money, today’s Money Diaries — actually, today’s Freelance Diaries — is from a project manager who left his fulltime job to work as a freelancer.

Below, you’ll notice:

  • He now makes 3 times what he made at his fulltime job — but he still nets less overall
  • His tactics for managing his clients
  • Weaving lifestyle (video games from 3:30pm – 6:00pm) with work

Be sure to sign up at Earn1k to get specific scripts on increasing your rates, managing clients, and using psychology against yourself to keep motivated.

* * *

coffee

“I’m a freelance project manager. Which I know sounds weird. Project management, I always thought, was one of those made-up corporate jobs, kind of like that one guy from Office Space who deals with people so the engineers don’t have to. You’ve seen it, right? Of course you have.

In reality, project management basically just means I get paid to make sure things get done. It’s incredibly valuable to companies that are disorganized or run tight deadlines. The hard part is packaging it because it’s not often perceived as high-value (kind of like how most people think they know how to write well).

The trick for me is, I never position myself as a project manager when first pitching to a client. I’m usually brought on to do something small, like a writing project or a PR project. At some point, the client realizes their organization/communication flow used to suck and I’m making it better. So after that I usually just end up being a project manager. That’s the classic “sell them what they want, give them what they need” technique, I guess.

Anyways, here’s my Diary.”

Day 1

6 am: Wake up. Yeahhh, freelancing doesn’t always mean you get to sleep all day. Although sometimes it does!

7am: Drive over to a coffee shop to start working. I have noticed that good, work-friendly coffee shops (meaning they don’t have screaming children or broken tables) are rare. The only one in town worth going to costs $5 a cup, and parking there sucks. But it’s worth it. My time is important, so I try to save it any way I can.

8am: I spend a few hours at the coffee shop doing some work, following up on deadlines, shooting emails. No interruptions or random requests from clients, which is nice. I know you’re not supposed to leave your email open all day (the 4-Hour Workweek people tell me so) but whatever. I like to be responsive to clients, and I have a good process for handling email already.

2pm: My productivity level is dropping off. I guess that’s why I get up at 6 to work. Once I hit that “I don’t feel like working anymore” zone, I usually stop and pick it back up in the evening. So I drive home.

3:30pm – 6pm: Playing video games… nothing to see here. Man, I don’t miss my old job.

12 am: I catch up on some work. I’ve figured out that I do my best creative work at night, and like to power through stuff (menial work, invoicing, etc.) in the mornings. I’m a big believer in finding out what times you do your best work, then sticking to that.

Day 2

8am: I check my messages and see that I have one from my client (I turn off my phone at night. Boundaries, you know?). Apparently, he got his laptop stolen. Oh, and he wasn’t backing his stuff up, despite my recommendations to do so, so we’ll fall behind on one of our projects. Great.

Sometimes, clients will simply not do what you recommend – EVEN WHEN THEY AGREE WITH IT. They just ignore stuff. You have to live with that, I guess. Sometimes it’s not just about telling your clients what they should do, or lecturing them – it’s also being realistic about what they WILL do and working around that.

9am: At the coffee shop again. I work best in 4-hour bursts.

6pm: And yet, I’m still here… so I go home after sending a weekly email update to my clients. They don’t ask for it, but they always respond well and seem to like knowing what I’m doing. I guess it’s better than them wondering what I’m up to.

Day 3

10 am: Irritating. I like my client, but he absolutely doesn’t take ANY time to spell check his emails. I get something like this:

“cn weht \ time tmr?

Or what si itcan you telme minalkj

Otahnxk”

WHAT??? I’m not sure what to do with this. Usually I reply to confirm what I think he’s saying. I can’t really think of a nice way to say “Hey, it would really make me less irritated all the time if you spell-checked your emails.”

1pm: Write a pitch to a new prospect. Let’s see if it works out. I don’t pitch that often (I’m pretty happy with my current clients) but you never know what will be the next big thing, I guess. I keep the door open for stuff like that.

2pm: I have a tip – always, always keep track of what you spend your hours on, even if you think your client doesn’t care about the little details. My client never asked me before, then he suddenly calls me and is like “Hey these 20 hours – what are they for?”

It wasn’t a big deal, and of course I figured it out eventually but for a few seconds I was like “UHHHH… hm…” Lesson learned.

4pm: Here’s another tip: don’t drink and work.

Day 4

10 am: Spend 2 hours on a conference call with clients. They’re always traveling and in different time zones, so finding time to chat is difficult. Plus the calls themselves are pretty useless. I’ve realized that sometimes, clients just want someone to talk to and explain every little detail of what they’re doing. I’m like their therapist.

1pm: Finished writing a ridiculously long email with detailed notes from our call. Send it off to the clients, because they’re horribly unorganized (still). I can tell it helps them think about things more clearly, and they appreciate it a LOT.

These guys are really gushy too. They reply back with things like:

“Thank you SO SO SOOOO much for this.”

“thanks… you are incredibly professional and thoughtful and I am deeply grateful for your hard work and dedication.”

Good. I keep all this stuff in mind when it comes time to raise my rates.

9pm: My parents, both engineers, don’t really get what I do. I just tell them I do business stuff. They always ask me if I need money.

I guess it’s nice to know I have a safety net. I’m not opposed to the idea of asking for help if I need it – I’m just not that prideful I guess.

Day 5

11 am: Some days I just don’t feel like working. So I won’t today. It’s Friday, which is practically Saturday anyways. Ah, freelancing is nice after all.

People always go “wahh lucky” when I tell them stuff like this and I’m like hey screw you. I don’t get paid vacation and sick days, you ass. And it wasn’t just luck (although I admit luck helps).

1pm: As I write this, I’m thinking: It’s good to have flexibility. It’s good for my motivation. Now, when I take a day off, I usually charge into the next day with a roar and get really pumped up about knocking out work tasks. It was the opposite when I used to work as a management consultant at a top-tier firm. I dreaded Monday mornings.

I haven’t done a detailed analysis of the numbers, but I estimate that back then, I worked 60 hours a week (I worked from home all the time) for 50 weeks = 3000 hours. Let’s take my salary, around 60K, that makes my time roughly worth $20/hr.

Now I work fewer hours (about 40), and I charge $60/hr. And while you might think, Wow! $60/hour, that’s like $120,000 a year! You’re way richer now! No, because less than half of those hours are chargeable. Plus, I haven’t factored in benefits, 401(k) matching and the biggie: paid health insurance. All things factored in, I’m still making less than before.

Yeah, sorry to be a downer. But hey, new businesses take time to grow and things are looking positive so far. And I’m increasing my rates this year.

Day 6

11 am: It’s Saturday now, which basically means nothing to me. Back to the coffee shop. Most of the time, I work 7 days a week.

3pm: That’s as good a time as any to call it a day, at least for the client work.

4pm: One thing I like about my work is I can spend more free time on other, “riskier” business ventures. Right now a partner and I are working on a new product together, so I do some of the market research work at home for a few hours.

Day 7

1pm: On Sundays, I like to spend some time learning new things. Right now I’m watching a training program on product development. Very interesting stuff.

It’s hard to get over the fact that I’d be paid to watch this if I had a real job – instead I’m paying for it myself. But I really believe in consistently gaining new skills in order to grow.

4pm: Writing a Craigslist post for some help the clients want to hire. Not really what I was hired to do, but if they’re paying, I won’t complain. Yet another reason why I like charging by the hour – too many variables in project pricing.

5pm: I invoice one client, clean up my notes, and get ready for tomorrow.

* * *

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Today is another post in the Money Diaries series, which is based off New York Magazine’s Sex Diaries. We’ve collected stories from real people about their spending habits over seven days, anonymized them, and posted them here.

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Today’s post is by a 27-year-old woman who lives in San Francisco without a car, and commutes by train to work. She tracks her spending extremely well. But does she ignore the Big Wins to focus on smaller savings?

* * *

Day 1
7:30 a.m.: Saturday. Wake up around the time I get up for work. A little annoyed but I can’t fall back asleep so I get up and get coffee at the specialty coffee shop down the street. They are a little expensive, but really good so I try to limit myself to one a week. Spent $3. On my way out I pick up a check at the front desk. I rent out my parking space and it’s the beginning of the month. Gain $250.
10:20 a.m.: Resisted the urge to buy breakfast while I was out, thinking I could whip up something at home. I have bacon but don’t have eggs. I don’t have anything to make for lunch next week either…so I decide it’s time to go grocery shopping. I get some ham, eggs and hotdogs and the rest is all frozen pre-made food, which I know is bad but I promise myself I will try to eat some fruits and veg this week as well. $2 for the bus, $47.21 at Trader Joe’s.
12:30 p.m.: No plans today so I’m just staying home and cleaning up my apartment and other tasks that I’ve put off all week. I get on my computer and check email and various blogs, and then the I tally up what I’ve spent this week and enter it into a Google spreadsheet. I track every penny I spend. It sounds a bit weird to most people but I really rather enjoy it and finding out how much I spend on stuff. I usually try to enter it as soon as I get to a computer, but sometimes receipts just pile up. For purchases without a receipt I make a note on my iphone. It’s really just informational for me since I make enough now to cover anything I could want to buy, but I started doing it when I was a poor grad student to make sure I wasn’t spending more than I brought home. Since the beginning of the month I add up my expenses for last month. Without counting rent, I’ve spent a total of $1967.30 for the month of September and it breaks down as follows: $117.75 for transportation; $235 for health care; $140.29 eating out; $153.18 for alcohol/wine; $757.83 for household things (including a couch off craigslist for $680); $12.05 for toiletries; $134.76 for electronics (bought a GPS); $34.97 in entertainment (tickets to museums, movies, shows etc; Netflix subscription) and $32.94 in misc stuff. Some of the things I split with my boyfriend, like the couch and the Netflix subscription. For those curious, my rent is $2,020 a month for a one-bedroom in San Francisco which I split with my boyfriend. I also look up how much I’ve spent on my phone minutes. I don’t talk on the phone a lot so I’m on a T-mobile pay-as-you-go plan on an jailbroken iPhone. September’s phone minutes cost $14.03. I get data from wherever there is open wifi access. I get the mail and Wired mag has sent me yet another renewal notice. It’s actually close to renewal time so I decide to finally do it. $20 for a 2-year subscription.
2 p.m.: I get a couple of emails from various financial intuitions about successful money transfers. I schedule nominal amounts (~$150) of money to be pulled out of my checking to my savings and an index fund after every paycheck, just so I’m saving and investing but I don’t have to think about it. The start of a new month is always an interesting time for my finances, but now everything is in order and I can get off the computer. Phew!
4 p.m.: For the rest of the day I putter around the apartment while streaming Netflix. Total spent today: $72.21. Total gained: $250

Day 2
9:30 a.m.: Sunday. Get up, shower and make myself a nice breakfast of eggs, ham and toast and a cup of Earl Grey tea. I park myself in front of the computer while I eat and read the news. Unemployment is at 9.8% now. Thankfully we both still have our jobs. I chat with boyfriend on skype. He’s out of the country and coming back on Wednesday.
12:20 p.m.: I take the bus to meet up a couple of friends for snacks and drinks. We’re going to the premiere of an indie film that we all worked on, and then having dinner afterwards. Bus fare there $2, Snack and drinks pre-show $25, Tacos afterwards $14. I bought 2 tickets for the event last week for $20, so I’m not sure if I’m supposed to count it for today.
9:15 p.m.: Bus Fare Home: $2. Total spent today: $43 (doesn’t include the tickets I paid for last week.)

Day 3
7:30 a.m.: Monday. Get up, get ready for work and make a cup of tea. I walk 5 minutes to the train station, grab a free newspaper and enjoy the ride. I have a monthly pass that is taken out of my pay pre-tax. A free shuttle connects the train station to the building where I work. Recent layoffs at work has increased my workload a bit, so I have a busy day ahead.
11:15 a.m.: Get bored with work so I decide to check my bank account for suspicious activity. Everything looks normal, as it does most of the time. I have about $1,750 in my checking account and $36 in credit card charges. The $1,750 is my budget for this month (not including rent), which equals about one paycheck. Every month I “zero out” my checking account by moving any money left to an ING savings account and only spend what I earn that month. It sounds nutty but that’s how I keep a budget. If I spend over that amount I have to really think if it is worth the hassle of pulling it back out of my ING account. I’ve tracked my spending for long enough to know that’s more than enough for most months – so I tend to spend my money freely.
12 a.m.: Lunch time! I have some pre-packaged Indian food from my Trader Joe’s run on Saturday.
4 p.m.: Around this time I start to zone out and think about dinner. I poke around epicurious for delicious looking recipes. Something baked would be nice….
6:44 p.m.: I arrive back in the city. I was interrupted with work while on my recipe search so I won’t be cooking tonight. I come home and bake a goat cheese pizza I got on Saturday and pour myself a glass of wine.
7 p.m.: I eat in front of the TV, putting in the Netflix DVD I got in the mail today and relax for the rest of the evening. Total spent today: $0

Day 4
7:30 a.m.: Tuesday. Same routine as yesterday. My weekdays pretty much all look the same, but this week is interesting because I’m taking Wednesday to Friday off!
9 a.m.: UGH. Arrive at work. Since I’m gone the rest of the week I have a bunch of meetings crammed into today, plus there is work I need to hand off before I run off on vacation.
11:40 a.m.: Coworker’s farewell lunch. A very delicious $20.
5:50 p.m.: Train arrives back in the city. I decide to eat something fresh tonight so I go to the grocery store across the street from the train station. I pick up an Ahi tuna steak, some yogurt and a pineapple. I live so close to the grocery store that when I buy fresh stuff I only buy for one meal. Spent $10.30
6:15 p.m.: Come home, pour a glass of wine, and make some rice. I sear the tuna and enjoy my dinner in front of the TV. Snack on pineapple the rest of the evening.
8:36 p.m.: Get kind of bored and surf Target.com. There’s a ring I’ve been eyeing but last time I checked it was sold out. OH WOW I CAN’T BELIEVE IT it’s back in stock.You get free shipping if you spend $50, so I look around and find some shoes and sweater that is suitable for work. Total for my order is $67.86. Total Spent today: $98.16

Day 5
7:30 a.m.: Wednesday. OMG vacation! Why am I up? Stupid alarm clock… I stay in bed reading the news on my iPhone out of principle.
9 a.m.: Boyfriend’s plane arrives around 1 p.m. I pace around and decide to go downtown to watch tourists. I get a latte at Starbucks ($2.90) and buy some eye cream at Sephora ($43.80), plus bus fare for $2
11:25 a.m.: Come back home and check plane status — estimated arrival is 20 minutes early. I log on to Zipcar and book a car. WTF! the car that’s parked in my building is already booked! I guess I should have done it earlier….Instead, I book a car that’s a block away. Current estimate for Zipcar charges is $28.74 for a 3 hour reservation. Boyfriend will expense that as part of his trip so I won’t be paying for it.
1:30 p.m.: Pick up boyfriend at the airport. Since we don’t have a car, often we decide to go shopping for heavy things when we get a Zipcar. We get a bag of rice and a case of my favorite wine plus some other groceries while we’re at it. Total grocery: 169.06
5 p.m.: We unpack for a bit and then head down to happy hour at the sushi place down the street. 4 rolls, 3 cocktails and 1 beer later, we are out $45.22 Total Spent today: 262.98. A bit much for one day but that bag of rice and case of wine will last for a while.

Day 6
8 a.m.: Thursday. I make breakfast while boyfriend makes coffee. We both have the rest of the week off, which is nice.
12:30 p.m.: We decide to have a day of unpacking at home, but for lunch we make a trek to our favorite taco truck. Their burritos are huge so we split one ($7.50). The truck is halfway to Trader Joe’s so we go check it out. We have plenty of food at home already so we didn’t buy much – just some more ham for breakfast and some ground beef and chicken stock. Total $16.31 + $4 bus fare.
2 p.m.: My body lotion stopped pumping this morning so I take a knife and cut open the bottle. I can get another several weeks of lotion just digging out what’s left on the bottom. Since I’m writing this diary I can imagine Ramit mocking my “frugal” habits while throwing a cup of pennies over his head – LOL. To each his own, I guess, but I don’t get the attitude that I should be wasteful just because I can afford to be. I also reuse my ziplock bags depending on what was in it and save medium to large cottage cheese or yogurt containers, but that’s another story for another day. I am a firm believer in the saying “waste not, want not.” It wasn’t until recently that I became this affluent (and by affluent I mean thoroughly middle class), and I’m not going to take it for granted. Total spent today: $27.81

Day 7
8:30 a.m.: Friday. I have to say, my ham breakfast is delicious.
11:30 a.m.: I feel like a shopping trip today so we take the car out to Ikea, Target and Petsmart. Zipcar for 3.5 hours ($33.54); Bridge Toll ($4); Target (clothes hangers and cleaning supplies – $4.68); Ikea (plant, cushion, pet toy and a soft serve – $21.83); Petsmart – Forty some odd dollars, but I have a $100 gift card from my credit card rewards.
3 p.m.: I check my email and PG&E has sent me a bill. $22.99 for last month that I pay right away.
5:15 p.m.: Happy hour! There’s a place nearby that is doing 50c oysters and I love oysters. Total $38.00 for the oysters and drinks. Afterward, we take a walk up the Embarcadero (the waterfront) and watch tourists at Fisherman’s Wharf.
9 p.m.: $4 bus fare back home. Total spent today: 129.04

In Sum
Total for the week: $633.20. It’s a bit much for a typical week, but I was on vacation for a good chunk of it. Most of the spending was on food, either eating out or grocery and I also stocked up staples (as much as wine is a “staple”). It’s still early in the month but I’m well within my budget so I should be fine the rest of the month. I am perfectly at ease with my spending this week.

* * *

My thoughts

  • I love that she rents out her parking space to earn $250/month. If you’re interested in earning more, I’ll be announcing something next month…sign up here to get details first.
  • I don’t know how long she’s been tracking her money, but she’s skilled at managing costs and monitoring her spending.
  • She understands her own behavior and how to strategically apply barriers to control her behavior. Here’s a good sign of someone who’s expert at self-awareness: “If I spend over that amount I have to really think if it is worth the hassle of pulling it back out of my ING account. I’ve tracked my spending for long enough to know that’s more than enough for most months – so I tend to spend my money freely.”
  • This is a move right out of my parents’ handbook: “My body lotion stopped pumping this morning so I take a knife and cut open the bottle.” I laughed out loud. My parents add water to the shampoo bottles.
  • I’m a huge fan of how she takes vacation and enjoys it without guilt. That’s Conscious Spending at its best.
  • Overall, I’m impressed with her self-awareness and control. This is someone who has a smooth financial system. Next steps include earning more (at work and on the side), investing more, double-checking her asset allocation, and planning for longer-term events. But these are natural and completely manageable from her current level.

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Today is another post in the Money Diaries series, which is based off New York Magazine’s Sex Diaries. We’ve collected stories from real people about their spending habits over seven days, anonymized them, and posted them here.

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Today’s entry is by a 25-year-old single mother. This woman’s spending is definitely troubling — she spends 8% of her take-home pay on self-described “bad habits,” including cigarettes and writing bad checks. But be careful: It’s easy to say, “Why don’t people just SPEND LESS??!” without understanding the full context of why they do what they do.

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Day 1
6:45 a.m.: I call my bank to make sure that nothing unexpected has been withdrawn from my checking account. I breathe a sigh of relief. The balance is right where I left it: $2.24. I rouse my three-year-old, special needs daughter from sleep and take her to the bus stop.
8:26 a.m.: Am displeased to find I fell back asleep after taking my daughter down to catch her bus — I’m supposed to be at work at 9:00! I contemplate calling a cab, but know I can’t afford it, period. I get ready and run to the bus stop.
8:43 a.m.: Arrive at bus stop. I see the college kids waiting. I envy them, but there’s no time for expanding my mind when it’s imperative that I expand my bank account.
10 a.m.: Slam my hands on my keyboard when I realize I have forgotten my lunch.
12:15 p.m.: Spend $5.18 for a hefty serving of garlic chicken and rice on top of shredded cabbage. Yummy!
12:45 p.m.: Go to the convenience store and get a Coke and a pack of cigarettes ($0.85 for the Coke, $6.35 for the cheapest pack of cigarettes). Feeling guilty about spending money on cigarettes and Coke, I make a vow to quit both by payday. Unfortunately, this is about the thirtieth time I’ve made this vow.
6 p.m.: Get home and make the kiddo chicken nuggets and canned vegetables. Use the last of the milk, and hope that she’ll be okay drinking water for the following two nights.

Day 2
12 p.m.: Use the loose change in my purse to buy a Coke ($0.85). Sit outside my office on a gorgeous Honolulu afternoon to drink my soda and eat my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I’m broke, but at least I’m broke in paradise.
12:30 p.m.: Call MOHELA and beg for another deferment on my student loans. They comply.
7 p.m.: Begin to panic at the fact that I only have one cigarette left. Go into the living room and beg mom to loan me a pack until I get paid on Thursday. She reluctantly agrees.

Day 3
9 a.m.: Use one of the dollars to buy a Coke ($0.85).
12:15 p.m.: Use another bill to buy a Coke ($0.85).
5:07 p.m.: Grumble at the high price of food in Hawaii ($6.99 for a gallon of milk!). Write a bad check to cover the cost of food ($109.97). Wish I could go back to Missouri, where everything is cheaper. Also realize if I didn’t live with Mom, I’d starve.
7:45 p.m.: Beg Mom for another pack of smokes.

Day 4
8:15 a.m.: PAYDAY! Thank God! It’s the first of the month, and it’s the “big” pay day because I also get my daughter’s social security and my childcare assistance. In total, I receive $1,381 on the first of each month.
8:45 a.m.: Get to the office and use the internet to pay bills and buy my daughter’s birthday presents from Amazon. Birthday presents: $71.50 Phone bill: $82.50 Student loan: $60 (this loan I couldn’t defer because I am delinquent in payments). Miss K: $25 (Post-dated check to a friend for babysitting for me last week). Old Navy online: $28.52 (two shirts for kiddo, three shirts for me).
12 p.m.: Go to used bookstore by my office and buy four books to read over the next two weeks ($21.43).
5:15 p.m.: Pay my daughter’s sitter $325 for partial month payment (total/month = $650).
5:30 p.m.: I shove my way through the clogged aisles of Wal-Mart to buy two jumbo packs of diapers and one value pack of baby wipes. At the checkout stand, daughter has screaming meltdown complete with hair pulling and punches to my face. Total for Wal-Mart: $37.53.
6:45 p.m.: Realize I forgot to buy smokes at Wal-Mart while waiting for the bus. Take one look at my screaming, crying child and decide to suck it up and buy them at the corner store were the cheapest brand is $8.96! Also buy monthly bus pass ($50).
7:30 p.m.: Pay Mom $350 for what remains of my portion of this month’s rent (total/month = $600). Am glad I contributed some of last pay period’s earnings to the rent.
8:30 p.m.: Count what remains of payday: $212.83, after subtracting the money to cover my bad check for groceries. Feel pretty proud until I realize that I have to buy the kid’s Halloween costume! Damn!
9:15 p.m.: Go down to corner store and buy six pack of Coke ($4.96).

Day 5
12 p.m.: Take off work early to take kiddo to her neurology appointment. The half day off comes out of my pay because I have used all my vacation days for taking time off for various doctors’ appointments and illnesses.
1 p.m.: Am not pleased to learn that I did not pay for the last visit’s co-pay. Must shell out $28 to cover today’s visit and the visit we had six months ago.
2 p.m.: Frustrated that I have to take off work and pay co-pays only to hear doctors tell me they have no idea what’s causing my daughter’s delays.
3 p.m.: Stop for Jamba Juice ($4.37).
5:30 p.m.: Mom reminds me that I owe her two packs of cigarettes. Walk to Wal-Mart for three packs of cigarettes for me, one for Mom ($31.75).
8:15 p.m.: Bored. To entertain myself, I spend an hour texting my ex-boyfriend who moved to Louisiana a few months ago. I splurge for unlimited text messaging because it’s a fairly cheap form of entertainment. Wish I had the money to go visit friends on the mainland, especially this friend.

Day 6
11 a.m.: It’s the last day of my daughter’s swimming lessons! They were worth the $96.
12 p.m.: Take kiddo to McDonald’s to celebrate her swimming achievements ($9.60 for her meal and mine). Wonder if it’s sad that I consider McDonald’s a luxury. Decide yes, that is very sad.
1:45 p.m.: Mom watches kiddo while I pick up her Halloween costume. She’s going to be a ladybug ($34.97).
10 p.m.: Talk Mom into babysitting my daughter while she sleeps so I can go out. Go to my favorite bar and talk some guys into buying me drinks. Even talk one guy into buying me a hot dog from the vendor outside the bar. Sweet.
1:15 a.m.: Buy cigarettes from the bar ($7) because I smoked the ones I brought.
2:30 a.m.: Take a cab home ($10.80). Worth the money to stay safe.

Day 7
12 p.m.: Make my weekly calls to mainland friends (free minutes on the weekends!). Get irritated when a friend grumbles about her financial situation because she’s better off than I am. Try to remember that her problems seem just as big to her as mine do to me, but it doesn’t help.
7:15 p.m.: Congratulate myself on not spending any money today!
9 p.m.: Run down to the corner store for a six pack of Coke and a candy bar ($5.87).
10 p.m.: Feel bummed because I won’t have any money to spend on myself on my upcoming birthday. Hope kindly relatives send me cash in the mail this week!

In Sum
Money spent on bills: $845.50
Money spent on kiddo: $183.00
Money spent on food: $130.03
Money spent on bad habits: $67.38
Money spent on transportation: $60.80
Money spent on me: $35.95
Money left over: $61.08 (this is what I must survive on until next pay day, eleven days away… think I can make it?).

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How would you try to help this person? Note from 10 years of doing this and learning about people’s money behaviors: “Helping” usually starts with (1) them wanting help, (2) you listening and understanding before rushing in with “solutions,” and (3) some way of sustaining the behavioral change.

So what would you do?

[Update]: Please read comment #8 before you leave a comment.

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Read other Money Diaries. Or to be featured anonymously in a future Money Diary, click here.