Be the Expert: “We’re moving in together. How much should we each contribute?”
July 13th, 2012 - 98 Comments
Let’s kick off our Money & Relationships series today.
One of the hardest financial steps in a relationship is when two people move in together and start sharing expenses.
Who pays for what? How much should each person pay? Does gender matter? What about income level?
Check out this question I recently got from Jesse:
Bought your book. Love it. Read it. Am following every piece of advice I can.
In my past relationship, my partner and I split finances 50/50 and that was never a problem. He made more than me. I was fine with that.
I’m in a new relationship and am going to receive a significant promotion in July. Now my new partner is saying that we should do things the Suze Orman way, splitting based on percentages. His argument is that bills and utilities should take an equal percentage hit on both of us.
My argument is that I think that’s a huge step. Yes, we’re living together. But we haven’t even been together for a year. In essence, I’d be supporting him, partly. But he doesn’t see it that way. I’ve always tried to keep money out of relationships by splitting everything equally. If you’re married, I think this is an entirely different conversation. But having only dated for 6 months, moved in, but still not ready to make a life-long commitment, I think that my position is entirely reasonable. He just doesn’t see it that way.
Part of the problem here might be that we’re both guys, and I think his ego is taking a hit because I’m going to be making more money. I’d love it if you’d talk about the problem, perhaps the psychological implications of people feeling like they’re not contributing. One suggestion from him is that we should live separately. He said that’d make him feel better about things. But again, I don’t understand this. We’d both be paying twice as much in rent, and he would take an even bigger hit financially.
Any help would be much appreciated.
What do you think? How should Jesse and his partner split expenses? Leave your comments below.
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